Shame on you, Dr. Seuss!!

So last night I was reading a few Dr. Seuss stories, when I got to “Too Many Daves”.

It’s about a woman, Ms. McCave, who has 23 sons who are all named Dave, and how she should have named one this or that instead, to make life a little easier, blah blah blah.

Then it goes on to list some of the names she should have gone with, such as Bodkin Van Horn, Biffalo Buff and Marvin O’Gravel Balloon Face… you know, typical Dr. Seuss.

Then I ran across a name that caught me by surprise.

What’s the name, you ask? Soggy Muff.

Oh yes. Soggy Muff.

I’ve read that story-

It was in the Sneeches book, wasn’t it?

I’ll bet Mr. Geusel was just trying to slip that one by, to see if we were paying attention.

muff, n. 1. a cover or protection for the hands in cold weather, usually cylindrical and of fur.

Such an article of clothing might be assumed to become soggy, especially in a driving wintry rain.

I can make no excuse, however, for “Oliver Boliver Butt.” That is simply an example of crude humor. “Butt,” indeed.

On the other hand, “Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate” is pure genius. How come no one’s taken this as a UserName yet?

Which reminds me of the funniest line in Green Eggs and Ham, “Would you, could you with a goat?”

Now THERE’s a name that cries out to be mispronounced… the only one that comes closer to that charming term for (ahem) turning the other cheek is Joey Buttafuoco.

As for Soggy Muff, that reminds me of a name Mrs. Chef once ran across. She was bored at her job at a company that shall remain nameless but whose name rhymes with “Semen, park us!” and started looking up people’s credit records at random. She ran across an unfortunate woman whose name was…
…Mossy Bush.

Thank you. You have effectively ruined a childhood classic for me.


Speak not ill of the dead, lest they rise from the grave to haunt you in rhyme.

While accepting this theory is very appealing
A little bit more research found something revealing.
You see, before the Doctor wrote “Green Eggs and Ham”
He sold bondage equipment from the back of a van!
Handcuffs and latex, cold nipple rings
And a shocking collection of battery operated things.

Young Suess did travel, selling these goods
all around and about West Hollywood.
Oh sure, once published he left all this behind.
But you still have to wonder what remained in his mind
and take a second look at the things that he wrote
“Would you, oh could you, with a goat”?!?

Now, is this stuff really what our children should see?
Sure, it’s much tamer than the stuff on T.V.

How about the game “Clue”?
“Colenel Mustard diud it with Miss Scarlett in the Dining Room…with a lead pipe.”

I was wondering why the latest version of the game came with a miniscule pewter gerbil.

“Professor Plum did it, in the Study, with the…”

Let’s not go there, shall we?

Now I know how far I can spit a mouthful of Dannon yogurt—about six feet! OMG!

Pure genius Inky! …pure genius…

The Cat in the Hat wore no pants and played with children…

speaking of rising from the dead to haunt you –
there’s now a musical of Dr. Seuss works out called – you guessed it : Suessical!

It’s apparently not doing too well.

(And to think that I saw it waay waay off Mulberry St.!)

In my high school freshman English class we all had to read a poem in front of the class. Not really caring what I read, I thought it would be funny if I read this poem “Too Many Daves.” Well, I finished reading the poem, and my english teacher, master of the passive putdown that she was said: “Thank you, I’m sure it took a lot of courage to read that poem.”

Same teacher that let me read a whole passage of Homer pronouncing “Telemachus” tell-uh-MOCK-us.

I hated that teacher.

When I saw this thread’s title, I thought it might be about the good Doctor’s WWII political cartoons, some of which are a bit racist. Dr. Seuss had no trouble condeming racism (everyone got the moral from the Sneetches story, right?) but his progressive attitude seemed to have a blindspot when it came to Japanese.

On more than one occassion, his cartoons depicted American citizens of Japanese descent in a negative light. Over all, the good outweighed the bad; I only mention this to sound learned. :smiley:

Anyone interested should read “Dr. Seuss Goes to War”.

This thread has inspired me to change my sig!


  1. The Cat in the Blender
  2. Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert
  3. Fox in Detox
  4. Who Shat in the Hat?
  5. Horton Hires a Ho
  6. The Flesh-Eating Lorax
  7. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day
  8. Your Colon Can Moo—Can You?
  9. Zippy the Rabid Gerbil
  10. One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, Blue Bitch
  11. Marvin K. Mooney, Get the Fuck Out!
  12. Are You My Proctologist?
  13. Yentl the Lentil
  14. My Pocket Rocket Needs A Socket
  15. Aunts in My Pants
  16. Oh, the Places You’ll Scratch and Sniff!
  17. Horton Fakes an Orgasm
  18. The Grinch’s Ten Inches

Dr Suess. is no better nor worse
than anyone ele who rhymes in verse
Try it you’ll see it much to hard
rhyming things without sounding like a…really insensitive person
Somtimes you run out of luck
you throw up your hands and go “oh… this really bites”
To all his detractors I must say wait
At least he had nothing to do with Mrs. Tate
most of the time dr. suess got it right
The same can’t be said for poor Gladys Knight

Dr Suess had a dark side as well. Check out some of his paintings sometime. I happened to wander into an art gallery that had some of his works on display, and I was struck by how creepy yet beautiful they were. Many of them were like cartoonish nightmare scenes. Weird!

I love that book, Twylight!

My favorite painting of his features a boy tentitivly approaching a pretty girl who is sitting on the trigger of a deadly looking mousetrap-like mallet device. The message is pretty naked, “The bait is tempting, kid, but it’ll destroy you”.