Shape of SPAM

Can anyone tell me what shape SPAM is? Seems so silly, but the reality is that I have had Rocket Scientists try to answer this and I have yet to get a satisfactory answer. HELP!!!

It comes out the same shape as the can. Think of a rectangular solid with rounded vertical corners, flat on top and bottom

SPAM is whatever shape you want it to be. If you want to make SPAM baseballs, simply crush it into a sphere and use an exacto knife to make the simulated seams. If you want to sculpt with it, just get a whole buttload of it and have at it. After you’re finished just put it in the oven, just like Play-Doh.

The only limit on the shape of SPAM is your imagination.

I believe that the GQ here is what is the name of the 3D solid of Spam when it comes out of the can.

It’s not a rhomboid because not all of the sides are parallel. It’s a four sided pyramid with the top cut off where two of the sides are wider than the other two. Is there a name for this?


Ok guys you are taking the fools way out of this. I am serious. You are making up things to justify your lack of knowledge. Think on this. There has to be a real shape to SPAM. If it is a rectangle with vertical rounded corners…what is this shape called? Surely it must have a name? This is what I seek. What is the shape called?

continue on.

A Rackinfool-a-dron? Seriously - it’s just what’s been described - rectangular solid with rounded vertical edges. That’s the beginning and end of it.

I would refute that SPAM is a solid to begin with. And do not call me names please.

A parallelospam? :smiley:

Ah - sorry. No intent on being rude. I was simply suggesting we name the shape after you.

You meant to say it this way?


Oh I hope so! I thought that a very clever reply! Seeing as how the pi hole along with all the rest of the facinating and unused parts of the piggly wiggly are used in the making of this most historic delicacy that kept the Troops of Nikita Kruschev’s Army alive.

This question of the shape of SPAM provoked a Major in the Current US ARMY to call me a West Coast Fluzy (his spelling) Democrat BI-ATCH! How great is this to know that SPAM evokes such high stakes emotions? And the best part is that this man is defending our country in Iraq. Bush should be so proud!

rackinfool still in search of the shape of SPAM

…Dude, you are taking this a little too seriously.

Geometrically it’s a solid. Discussing a shape means we’re talking about geometry, not states of matter.

No one called you a name…


I’ll call you a horse’s patoot for that fake wounded “do not call me names please” when you weren’t called a name. Your username was used in a light-hearted, joking way of saying that the shape in question does not have a specific name. To get your knickers in a twist over that was overreacting. Most especially so after your rather snippy comments about the “fool’s way” and our lack of knowledge. Be so kind as to stuff it.

There are jillions of possible shapes of things. Only a relative handful of them have specific names. The shape of a can of SPAM is not one of them.

First off, I am not a DUDE and why do you respond if you deem this folly? I only seek an answer. To every question there must be an answer save for Death, there is no answer for what happens after Death, but I beg of you or anyone to just please give me an answer to my question. Is this a problem for you? I only ask, you do not have to trouble yourself with any of this if it is too serious for your mind. Tis my mind that is in need of knowledge and my mind that can do with this knowledge as I please. Not for you to make any judgements as to the seriousness or lack there of is it?

I do not mean to be rude, but I also do not like judgements placed upon a simple question unless you have a simple answer. Thank you.


Well, since it seems that you really want an answer, the rounded corners notwithstanding it is some form of cube. It’s obviously not anactual cube because it doesn’t have six equal sides, but it’s definitely related. Perhaps you can start with that. I don’t have anything else to add because my knowledge of the z-axis ended with high school ten years ago.

So death is the only thing with no answer… yeah right. Just accept that not every shape in the world has a name. You will not find an answer to your question because it does not exist. And go have some spam and calm down a bit.

…Dude, you are taking this a lot too seriously.

What is the last digit of pi?

I’m curious about your assertion that there must be a name for the shape. Look at it this way–let’s say Airman Doors takes his Spam and carves it so it looks like a baseball. What shape is it? It’s not a sphere, because the ridges from the seams make it uneven. So the best we can come up with is, “it’s pretty much a sphere with ridges in such-and-such a pattern.”

Similar for Spam straight out of the can–it’s a rectangular solid of such-and-such dimensions, with arcs of size foo on the corners. Why would you expect there to be a “real” name for that shape? What happens if you change the measurements a bit–would you expect the new shape to have a different name?

My my my! It is not my knickers that are in a twist it appears! Gary, why are you so upset? I only ask a valid question and I only seek a valid answer. The first two replies were not valid. To answer a question such as the first two gentleman did was indeed foolish. If the true shape of SPAM is the shape of the can and I was so ignorant as to not figure this out would I not be the biggest fool of all?

I was not over-reacting, but I should think this reply of yours might need some thoughts of the very wording you place on myself. Lack of knowledge can also be assumed to those that have come on here without giving thought to at least try to answer the question at hand…such as yourself.

Geometrically, yes Gary, you are correct. SPAM out of the can is a solid. But there could be elements once out of the can that could render that same once solid to another state. I am not sure of this and thus I said “refute”

Also I believe it will take a great mind, perhaps a Mathematics person to define the shape of SPAM. I applaud those that have in earnest attempted to solve this. I am not at the least inclined in Mathematics or Mechanical Drawing or Geometry to figure this out, but I am greatly intrigued by this question since it was posed to me.

So Gary, I will ask you and I will be polite, something you seem to lack in your heated response to me for reasons that escape me other than the very subject of SPAM seems to evoke some sort of deep seated emotions that perhaps Psychiatric evaluation may be in need of, but I will again ask …What shape is SPAM? can you please answer this without being so angry?


I must object to the assertion that SPAM conforms to the shape of its holding container. Many’s the package of SPAM i’ve opened to find that %90 of the contents are, indeed, full to the very edges of the package with spiced meat goodness, only to discover that the other %10 is some gelatinous product of questionable provenance.

Does this product also count as SPAM, thus rendering the definition of shape intact? Or perhaps SPAM more neatly conforms to meat-tin shape concordance, and the gelatinous anomalies are associated with other potted meat products?


This one’s closed. As some have said, there doesn’t have to be an answer to your question, even though you’re conviced that there does. I seriously doubt that every weird shape in the universe automatically has a precise name.

Also, if you persist in using language that insults or denigrates other posters who are trying in good faith to give you an answer, then you may be a guest here for a shorter period than 30 days.

samclem GQ moderator