Share a few words about the teams you have despised

It’s 8:16 and Michigan still sucks!

And the goddamn Pittsburgh Steelers…Just, fuck those guys with their skeevy rapist leader. And fuck their fans. Especially fuck any stupid dicknugget who is from Cleveland or NEO and is a Steelers’ fan. What the hell kind of mental retardation are suffering from that you think that is all right? If your maw is from Pittsburgh well then ok, but if you’re like “I like the Steelers because they are better than the Browns” you are completely missing the point of life.

Fuck the Miami Heat and their bandwagon fans.

Also fuck the Dodgers, and the Nationals too while you are at it.

The Red Sox. And the Celtics. In fact, that whole backward-ass cesspool of a city. And the stupid way everyone talks up there. They sound like each and every baby is smacked in the face with a 2x4 as soon as they exit the womb.The worst thing that ever happened to Boston was winning the 2004 world series. Being losers was the only thing interesting about them.

Too over the top?

As a kid, I was not into sports at all. When I turned 20, I made a concerted effort to start following baseball. Living in Balto, the O’s were the team. All along, the manager was this pip-squeak named Earl Weaver. Real loudmouth–when the team was winning, it was cos of his “managerial expertise,” when they were losing, it was cos “they can’t play for shit.” Happiest day of my life was when he “retired” (cos the Birds were in the cellar again.)

The next year, here comes Joe Altobelli–tall, quiet, lanky; you could see strategy being planned behind his eyes as he watched from the dugout. In two years, he takes the O’s from the cellar to win the Series. HOLY SHIT! John Denver came out and sang on top of the dugout! All was right with the world!

The season after the Series win, Pip-squeak wants his position back. The Powers That Be hand Joe A. his walking papers. SURPRISE!–O’s go back in the cellar, Weaver retires again, Burpo chucks baseball permanently.

In case Burpo gets it in his head to ever give a rat’s ass about Da Birdz again, TPTB ram TWO stupid, old-time stadiums into the already overcrowded downtown area, instead of one multi-purpose stadium out in the accessible Beltway-intersects-I 95 area. Then they split up the Ripkens! A question from a sports naif: isn’t a sports-playing family something you dream of having on your team? Cal, Sr., as coach, Billy as (was it?) catcher or shortstop, and Cal, Jr. (he showed up for work everyday, so what?) as team slugger. NOPE, Sr. and Billy have to go so they’ll stop hogging the limelight from Mr. 18,714-games-in-a-row.

Then TPTB tear down Memorial Stadium!

Looking back on what I’ve written, I’m not mad at the Orioles, just the &^%$s who have run them.

Thanx for letting me vent, it felt good. I’m going back to my haikus, now.

I don’t doubt this for one moment. In “Rapistberger”'s defense, though, he has PLENTY of d-bag company within the realm of pro sports (Plaxico Burress, anyone?).

I doubt there’s anybody from OUTSIDE the state of Ohio who hates the Wolfwienies more than I do. Arrogant whiners who talk like their teams win something EVERY year and who seem to think that the world owes them something. Cannot STAND that team that wears piss-yellow for a color and is pompous enough to call it “maize.” FYYMWF!!! (Fck You You Miss-again Wolfwienie Fcks!!)

Dude the '89-'90 Pistons were awesome.

I always hated the Colorado Avalanche back when the Red Wings played them in the conference finals a bunch of times.

Especially Claude Lemieux.