A few nights ago, after dinner we had brownies. (Yay!) We were eating away at them and Katcha finished his first. (Mostly because he got a little one. Partly because he shoved the whole thing in his mouth and choked it down.) I still had some of mine. (Mostly because I got a big one, the center which is the best part, although both Soupo and the Little Woman like the crunchy ends. Fools. Partly because I didn’t eat while I was waiting for Katcha to start choking on his mouthful of half-chewed brownie.) When Katcha saw I still had some brownie left, he wanted some.
What he meant to say was “Father, I observe you still retain a partial brownie. Would it please you to share said brownie part with your younger progeny?” It could have come out as “Me! Bite!” or even “Bite!
Me!”.
He looked at me eating my brownie and said “Bite me!”. Really mean-like. A couple of times.
In my winters, I usually help out at my local Scout Group’s camps. My helping out usually entails cooking and serving food. Not quite the glamour-job of canoeing with the kids or making rope bridges, but it’s something. (At least I can look down my Scouting nose at some even lowlier helpers, they who are assigned to cleaning toilets and scrubbing dishes.)
So I’m serving that camp favourite, spaghetti bolognaise. A small, pale-skinned boy is next in line. I ladle him his two scoops of bolognaised minced meat, but not fast enough for this one’s liking.
“More! Faster!”, he snapped, fixing his dark bird-like eyes on me.
I sensed he would have clapped his small white hands together for emphasis, if they weren’t already busy clutching his tin plate. I hastened to obey regardless. I was unnerved; bossy children with close-set eyes frighten me I discovered. This one was not to be trifled with.
My friends and I still say “More! Faster!” when we really want something.
Rue, that is so cute! Kids definitely do say the cutest things sometimes, even without prompting! (especially without it)
Narrad, that kid sounds like one of those very impatient types! Wonder what will happen if he actually had to wait longer than 10 seconds for something… maybe he’d say the same thing one of my friends did once in a restaurant when a bunch of us were waiting for a table: “I don’t like to wait!”
Hey, and this is coming from a gal who will lick her plate clean. But that petrified brownie rim is about as tough as they come. Give me the chewy center any day.
Oh well, Rue, that just leaves more for you!
I still haven’t opened that White Elephant email, don’tcha know.
Is there any left over? I want to tell some considerate co-drivers I want their brownie on the way home today.
And Rue, I know you meant to tell me that it would please you to share this funny so I’d laugh until my derriere was smaller but what I’m thinking is closer to “You.” “Slay.” “Me.”
Heh, wait till I tell Mrs. Lieu. Her butt’s about to get tiny.
True story - my eight-year-old niece goes to an exhibit on Ancient Egypt. The docent is talking about the large volume of the pyramids. After a few minutes my niece raises her hand and asks “Why can’t I hear anything?” (One of those rare “puns” that can be translated - this happened in a french-speaking part of the world.)
I’m reminded of the time I went to the Carnegie Natural History Museum in Pittsburgh with a fellow doper… It’s all because English is a funny language, you know. I mean, doesn’t it follow that if there’s a “beauty” and “beautiful”, there should be a “pretty” and “prettiful”? Well, at least in children’s logic, anyway…
So there we were in the gems and minerals exhibit, and along came a little girl to look at the gorgeous crystalline structures. Who apparently didn’t quite have her R’s down yet. And thus she said:
That just reminds me of a time when I was talking to an Australian friend of mine, and mentioned that I had just eaten a few brownies dipped in BBQ sauce. He thought they were “funny” brownies, as well… nope! My friend got them from Safeway!
That just reminds me of a time when I was talking to an Australian friend of mine, and mentioned that I had just eaten a few brownies dipped in BBQ sauce. He thought they were “funny” brownies, as well… nope! My friend got them from Safeway!
Just wait till they get older, Rue. When my sister was about three, my parents gave her a talk about sharing with others. The next day, she walked over to her friend, who was playing with some toy, pushed him over, took the truck and yelled “Share!”
My parents were so proud.
