Yesterday was Katcha’s birthday. He’s four now. It seems like only yesterday he was three, but that was two days ago. Now he’s four. We sang the song, had cupcakes and he got Clifford the Big Red Dog puzzles. It was a good party.
Of course since it was his birthday, that got me thinking back to his Birth Day. It was 2:26 on a Tuesday afternoon… yeah, like I’d know. But you know who does know? That’s right, the Little Woman. She remembers all sorts of things. I remember being there. I also remembering there was a Temporal Distortion or an Anomaly or something. That stuck in my mind. The doctor (I remember there was a doctor) got Quite Familiar with my darling wife. More familiar than I got after we’d been dating (me and my future wife, not me and the doctor) for a long time. He just strolls in and checks around “down there” and I had to buy flowers and dinners and stuff. Is this right? Anyway, he does his thing and announces in a sure voice we “have an hour or so to go” and leaves the room. The nurse is over messing with some Baby Machine (I think it was the warming rack, maybe she was keeping her lunch from getting cold. Dunno.) and comes over and she feels up the Little Woman. Then she runs to the door and yells down the hall “DOCTOR!”. This is not what you want when you’re having a baby. Or watching your wife have a baby in my case. Nurses shouldn’t run and no one should yell down the hall. It went from “an hour or so” to “don’t push yet” in like two minutes. Where did the rest of the hour go? I think we got charged for it though.
Then the doctor came running back (more running!) and it was “breathe, push, breathe, push” (they had me count now and again and hold a leg to feel “involved”). I learned my lesson when Soupo was born and didn’t look “down there”. At all! Miracle of Birth? No way! Play-Doh Fun Factory of Life with Extra Gooshy Stuff, more like! I didn’t want to see that! (And babies are not attractive for a good 15 minutes after they’re born. Some not for a couple of years.) One thing I did see was: just as soon as the necessary equipment was clear, lil’ Katcha peed on the doctor. Square in the chest! Ha! When the nurse popped him on the baby warming rack, he pooped on her. That wasn’t so funny because the nurse was real nice, and other than the one time she had to yell for the doctor, she was very calming and soothing. I still laughed. I’m not proud, but someone got pooped on!
Fast forward to yesterday and now he’s four. He hasn’t pooped on anyone lately. I guess that’s progress.
-Rue.
Now I have got the whole “being first” thing out of my system, I have to say you sounded calm while watching birth.
When my waters broke as I elegantly heaved myself out of bed to have a pee at 6-ish in the morning, I screeched at the hubby “WAKE UP!!! Something has happened”…“Go on then, make me a coffee” he replied in his calm scottish manner.
Then he woke up properly and paniced, as all good hubbies should.
Ahem. My niece was absoulutely beautiful from the moment she got squeezed out. I have pictures. She looked like a baby, not the typical “frog in a tomato can on the highway” thing you usually get with fresh babies. No weird colors, either.
Of course, I’m still not entirely certain she’s human.
But they’re getting their nutrition blood-to-blood, not through the intestinal system. AFAIK, there aren’t even bacteria in their gut yet at birth, let alone food of any kind… so what can they poop?
When Soupo was about to be borned, the Little Woman gets up and wanders to the bathroom. I’m about half (more like 3/16th) awake and ask if she’s OK. “Oh, my water just broke, go back to sleep.” So I do. Or at least I start to. “Water broke?” says a sleepy voice in my head. “Hmm… that means something.” So I get up and track down my wife. She just hung up from the doctor and told me it was time to go to the hospital. OK. So I got dressed and we went in. Right in front of a blizzard. There was just little flakes blowing around the highway when we went to the hospital, but after we got “checked in” and started walking the halls, we saw the cars in the parking lot were under a couple of inches of snow. When we were ready to leave I had to brush about 4 inches of snow off the car.
When it was Katcha’s time, we stopped on the way to my parent’s house to pick up doughnuts. The Little Woman’s in active labor, but she wants me to stop and get doughnuts so Soupo will have “something special for breakfast” when we drop him off with the Grandparents’. (Both tha doughnut shop and the Grandparents were right on the way to the hospital. It’s not like I was driving all over town.)
When Soupo was not-quite-one he was at the Grandparent’s and playing with Uncle Skippy. He (Soupo) tottered right into the coffee table downstairs and bashed his head. There was blood. I made the Little Woman stay in the kitchen while I checked things out. Mom didn’t listen ad she came to make sure I didn’t make things worse. (Or something. It was her first and only grandchild (now she has two)and she didn’t want me to mess him up.)
When things happen I’m not allowed to panic. Not until everything’s cleaned up and done with. Then it’s too late to panic since it’s all better anyway.
Now go to sleep Kiwi. It’s late.
She’s blood-kin to you Ex. There’s no guarantee she is entirely human. And it wasn’t “poop” poop. It was “pre-poop”. Babies have this right off. If you really want to know more (and why would you?) just ask.
Wow – four years old! He’ll be heading to school before much longer. And with both boys in school, what will you do for aggravation?
This was prom weekend in my little corner of the world. My baby got all gussied up, as did her friends. They went out to dinner, then all piled into a limo and were driven to the convention center, site of 3 different proms last Saturday! :eek: Afterwards, they were limo’d back to the house of one of the girls where said girl’s mother had breakfast ready for them. Then they drove to yet another girl’s house where they were supposed to have a bonfire. But it had been raining, so no fire. Instead, they stayed up all night eating and being goofy teenagers.
I think I’m sending a case of Tylenol to the parents who hosted the all-nighter. Or a case of scotch – whaddya think?
So while she was promming, I was pretty much wasting a lot of time, although I got a bunch of chores done on Sunday, including cleaning my fridge. When the kid got home, she crawled into bed for a few hours.
As for me, I’ve begun the next to the last week before I transfer. Three weeks from today, I should be starting my new job, or at least training at my new job. Yay!
Lessee, can I find something sufficiently manly to lure Ex in here? Not me, but my sweetie spent all weekend doing labor with power tools. He sanded the teak on the boat, and replaced 2 thru-hull fittings. He used a sander, and he tapped and countersunk some holes and he spent a lot of time on scaffolding (the boat was out of the water having new bottom paint applied) and he unloaded the anchor chain and a bunch more manly, nautical things. Does that contribute to a sufficiently high testosterone level?
I don’t know about the bacteria thing but they are eating something.
And **Ex[B/] ( if I may so boldly call you that) if they poop inside it is a Bad Thing (fetal distress and all that)…they save the poo till about 3 days after debut.
Baby’s first poo is Meconium, this is a tar-like, greenish-black icky stuff that builds up in the bowels of a growing fetus. It is normally discharged shortly after birth.
In the womb during pregnancy babies ingest (that’s like eating for the four year amniotic fluid. They excrete it and it passes out through Mom’s kidneys and urination.
If the baby passes their meconium while they are still in utero, depending on when it happens, it can be dangerous or maybe not at all.
Yes, it is a Very Bad Thing if they don’t wait to come out before the first BM. I have a friend whose son has permanent damage from this; it’s very tragic.
Sorry about the downer. Tell Soupo congrats for us! Is he allowed to come out with the menfolk on trips and such now? Will he attend TornaDope? It’s raining cats and catfish here right now, although I’m sure it will be bright by the afternoon. The bad part is my brother is in town, and was supposed to cut the parental unit’s yard to pay for staying at their house all week (and evicting me to a skanky motel). But he put it off until the last minute and now it’s going to be too wet to do. Bastard!
Did I ever mention that The Boy was born “in the call”? I’ll see if any of youse other MMPers know what that means without looking it up. The midwife and nurses said that it was considered good luck. I considered it good luck that we didn’t have to deal with any stoopid OB/GYNs during his birth.
Ok I really botched that up didn’t I and I didn’t even get to be first with The Answer. :o
That middle paragraph should read:
"In the womb during pregnancy babies ingest (that’s like eating for the four year among us) amniotic fluid. They excrete it and it passes out through Mom’s kidneys and urination.
