My wife and I recently spoke to our county commissioners during the public comments portion of their meeting. Our county is considering whether to begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Below are our remarks.
My comments:
Good morning… I’m here this morning to ask the commissioners to consider approving same-sex marriage licenses in [our] County as a matter of justice and equality for all people. I believe that this is a civic matter, and that there are no civic, or civil, reasons not to grant this. The only arguments that I’ve heard against this are religious and I would contest those on the basis of my own religious beliefs. But that is not a matter for county government. As a psychologist, I can tell you that statistically, in large-scale studies, people who are gay, lesbian, and bisexual are undifferentiated from heterosexual people on any measure of psychopathology. We are normal people. We need community and social support, and that alone appears to be the only variable that makes a difference in the level of subjective distress that we experience, and any psychological difficulties such as anxiety or depression.
When I was first considering moving to Oregon in 1996, and looked up “Oregon” and “lesbian” on the Internet, I found a recent murder of a lesbian couple, where the alleged murderer said at that time that it was easier to murder this couple because he believed them to be lesbians, and to me this is a suggestion that protections are required for people, and that includes normalizing our relationships with this community.
While I was thinking about what to say this morning, I looked in the Oregon Revised Statutes. I see a number of deleted sections which to me appear to be the sections where Oregon formerly had anti-miscegenation statements that restricted marriage to members of the same race. I hope that we won’t make that same mistake this time around by using the state constitution as an opportunity to decrease civil rights for diverse populations, rather than affirm them. Thank you.
My wife’s comments:
I’m here as a fifth generation Oregonian, [my] family [from a] long line who are proud of being part of a state that wants equal protections for everyone, be it our beaches being open to everyone, individual rights, rights to religious freedom. I’ve been a County resident for 28 years. I came down here to go to [university] and I’ve stayed.
Six years ago, I had a commitment ceremony with my partner at [a local] Senior Center. The Senior Center was gracious; we were welcome to be there with our friends and family. I think our community is ready to embrace lesbian and gay relationships equal to heterosexual relationships.
Three years ago, I flew to Vermont to have a civil union. I wanted that because I wanted some kind of legal representation of my relationship. Upon returning home I was aware that that civil union was more for anyone who voluntarily wanted to give me rights, and not asking anyone to give me equal rights. I’m aware from working, and that I have an ex-husband, that should I die my ex-husband can draw Social Security spousal benefits for support [from] me. My current partner cannot, and that’s because we do not have equal rights under the law.
Last week I went up to Multnomah County and I had a legal marriage performed. So I am, for this moment, legally married in Oregon and that’s how I’m saying it, hoping that the courts back us up. I have many clients in my caseload–I’m a psychologist–who can’t take the time to go up to Multnomah County, who have been in committed relationships for years, who would like to get married in their home town. I encourage you to start accepting applications for marriage from same-sex couples. Thank you.
As for you, gentle doper, you can also address the legislative body in your area that is responsible for issuing marriage licenses. The “God Hates Fags” people will be there, so you may want to provide a different perspective.