Share your weirdest customer stories

When I was in college I worked nights at an espresso/coffee place. We also made our own bagels and mixed our own cream cheeses.

We had a variety of strange late-night characters who showed up with alarming regularity but there were a couple who stood out.

The first was this homeless guy who cruised around on a bike with a pet cat. The cat was always on a leash and appeared to be really well cared for. Most nights he would buy a coffee and just hang out in our lounge area with his cat (we were pretty casual at night…the owner left at about four every afternoon and never once, in my 18 months of working there, came in at night). Anyways, at least a couple of times a week he would bring in a stack of records and ask if he could play them. No matter how many times I told him that despite the fact that we played music we did not, in fact, have a turntable, he continued to bring his records in.

The second was this dude we called “Dahmer” due to his unfortunate resemblance to everyone’s favorite cannibal. Anyways, he would come in almost every night and would never order anything. He would just sit. Wouldn’t read, wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t drink. Nothing. Sometimes for hours. One night, seemingly out of the blue, he comes up to the counter and asks if we have any cheesecake. One would assume that with the amount of time he had spent in our establishment that he would have realized that we didn’t sell cheesecake. Upon hearing that, unfortunately, we didn’t sell cheesecake he went over to our cooler and picked out a 12 oz. tub of apricot creamcheese. He then went back over to his usual spot and proceeded to eat the entire container. It was the only time that he ever bought anything from the store.

I work as a baker in a cafe that is in the city library. We used to get more oddballs, when newly opened, but it’s settle down now.

The wierdest is the one that a former kitchen manager christened “Buddha Lady”

Appears to be middle aged, has cash and decent clothing, but the clothes are oftened oddly assorted for pattern and color.

She talks to herself a lot and sometimes takes chairs from other table for her own, although she’s always alone. We try for a minimum of conversation, because she’s always talking about conspiracy theories.

She disappears for a while everyo so often. We figure whoever is her “keeper” puts her in the hospital for a while.

She got her nickname when she told the kitchen manager Buddha had been on the cieling of her bedroom, shooting laser beams at her. Then he came down and made love to her.

I nearly ruined my health and totally ruined my happiness working for 4 years as a Best Buy store manager, but that is neither here nor there. Oftentimes I didn’t blame my customers for their weirdness…Best Buy “Ram It Down Their Throats Till They Bleed” policies would have made me weird, too. At the very least!

But I did have one strange guy who approached me later in the day on one Black Friday (Retail Hell Day, Friday after Thanksgiving), and insisted that I personally owed him $70.

Why? Well, one of my cashiers had “stolen” his rebate form during his checkout earlier, and now he would be unable to claim the $70 owed him for the item he bought.

Had he gotten his receipt? Why, yes, he had THAT, just not the rebate form. Did he have the actual item he’d purchased? THAT, too, just not the damn rebate form! I explained that it would be fruitless for a Best Buy employee to “steal” a rebate form from a customer, as without the receipt or the item itself from which to cut the barcode, the form was completely useless. Nevertheless, my conniving, thieving employee had brazenly stolen his chance at $70, so I “owed” him and he wanted it in cash THIS VERY MINUTE.

I further explained that I could reproduce a rebate form for him immediately, and he could still send it in…even offered to send it for him from the store if he wanted to produce the receipt and the barcode. No deal! I owed him the $70 cash for his “distress” at being stolen from. Nothing else would do. A tantrum on his part ensued.

I completely refused to cave. He volunteered to call the “president” of Best Buy and rat me out for poor customer service and thievery. I gave him all my info, watched carefully that he wrote it all down correctly and spelled everything just right, then gave him Corporate’s phone number.

Never heard from Corporate, or him, again.

I have a love/hate relationship with retail as employment, in general. Best Buy weighed in heavily on the “hate” side. I won’t let that destroy the satisfaction I got from most customer interactions in my retail years, however. The good far outweighed the “weird”.

–Beck

Me (at the time) early 20’s, straight male, working in a gas station. First customer is a VERY attractive young lady. Tall, friendly, long blonde hair cascading over one shoulder…

Sorry, where was I?
She leaves and a regular walks up - now this guy has always been a little odd, but if a 5 foot tall 250 pound guy wants to wear driving gloves year round it’s not my problem. I take his money, “have a good day”, and attempt to move on with my job.
Suddenly this guy starts going off - “So, you treat people differently, do you? Only white people get that kind of service? They allow racists to work here?” and on and on. I have NO idea what the heck this guy is talking about, but I vaguely realize that he looks kind of oriental, maybe, if I squint, or possibly Mexican… Could be a short Samoan. He’s just this guy, you know?

He eventually leaves, I’ve not said a word the whole time - just stared in total confusion. I look at my hispanic coworker, she just shrugs and makes the cuckoo sign.

I still don’t get it.