It was another night of ambulance duty, with two calls. The first was to a place I’ve written about before, the home of tightly wrapped Wilma and her hubby Wayne with COPD. When I told my first tale about them, they weren’t exactly newlyweds, but the honeymoon wasn’t over, either.
It is, now. Last night’s call was for another episode of breathing problems, this time as the result of a domestic dispute related to an in-process divorce. They were fighting; she attacked him with car keys as a weapon, and his lungs swelled shut. We gave him a breathing treatment, patched up a couple of punctures on his arm, and transported. No big deal as far as storytelling.
It had been a long day for me, and I fell asleep at the keyboard while doing the report for Wilma and Wayne at roughly 11 PM; I went to bed. Around 3:30 AM was a page for an elderly man with difficulty breathing. We stumbled out to the bay, started up, and took off. About 2 miles down the road the dispatcher called back and said he quit breathing altogether.
Shit.
I went even faster, but this call was a long drive, and we weren’t going to get there within the 5-minute window for saving a cardiac arrest. When we arrived, I did the technical stuff with the patient (no pulse, no lung sounds, no heart sounds, and the monitor showed a flat line that could have been drawn with a ruler) while Amy talked to the wife.
“Do you want us to start CPR? I have to tell you that at this point, it will be futile.”
No was the answer, because he was terminally ill with asbestosis, and was about 1 month into a 6 month life expectancy. We have a long list of stuff to do with patient deaths, and the first is to talk to our medical control for a pronunciation, and second is get law enforcement on scene to determine the death is not suspicious. In practice last night, the order was reversed, but that’s no big deal. To add to the excitement, there was a page for a second crew to go back to Wilma and Wayne’s place because Wayne was having more problems.
Deputy Riley showed up after a significant delay. He was involved in a high-speed chase, and nailed the driver with a serious amount of drugs in his car. In the meantime, the wife was understandably having the mother of all panic attacks. She was trying to be helpful, go through the things to do and people to call, and have her crying time all in turn. Amy and I took her vitals because she was hyperventilating and having chest pains. We wound up putting her on her husband’s oxygen to help calm her down, and then she requested that I bring her the tranquilizer prescription for her husband, and she took one of those, too.
Riley’s job, once he determined the death to be non-suspicious, was to contact the doctor in charge, either the primary physician or the specialist, to sign the death certificate.
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Riley: “Ma’am, who is the doctor in charge?”
**
Wife: “Dr. I. C. Spotts of Northside Family Medicine.”
**Me: **“Their number is 934-3434. They’ll have a service on right now.” Amy and Riley both looked at me as if I had just pulled a live chicken out of my ass.
Riley: “How in hell did you know that?”
Me: “My doctor used to be part of that practice.”
**Riley: **“Bob, every time I see you, you amaze me somehow.” 
About an hour after we arrived, the wife had calmed down considerably, and friends and family had gathered while we waited. Normally, the deputy would have custody of the deceased while waiting for the undertakers to arrive, but Riley had a date with the magistrate to arraign his drug dealer, so Amy and I waited instead. You could see the change in the wife, from panic attack to actually cracking some lame jokes while trying to conduct the sad business at hand. This was good, because I had counselled the preacher to consider taking her to a doctor for a Valium prescription.
Finally, around 5 AM, the funeral home people arrived, and Amy and I could leave. We both gave the wife hugs and sympathies, and the last thing I heard as we headed for the door was the wife saying to family members, “You know, these drugs work pretty good…” 