Sharing my diarrhea

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I know how you all love to share, so I thought I’d share that I have a mild case of diarrhea tonight. No idea where it came from but I was first feeling it around noon time. I just have to clench the old sphincter a few times an hour and finally let loose once in a while. Fortunately it’s not a burning hot stream of acid like liquid type.

Mind you, I don’t literally want to share. You are not invited over to watch, sniff, or take samples. Though I suppose there is a niche market somewhere for this if I bottle it up. Can I sell my own shit on eBay?

2

I can’t believe I actually opened up this thread. :smiley:

3

My cat loves the share theirs… :mad:

4

Diarrhea happens.

Thanks for sharing.

5

My favorite Bullwer Lytton sentence of all time is unfortunately not one of mine, but it works on so many levels.

“Diarrhea runs in my family.”

6

If you really wanted to share you’d climb up on an old NYC bridge pylon, drop trou, bend over and squirt your stuff through the air while a friend takes a picture and then posts it on the internet.

Just sayin’.

7

If there’s ever been a proper place for the 'ol “pics or it didn’t happen line”…

…it’s not here.

8

I’m constipated. If we could just combine our digestive tracks into one…

…that’d be really gross.

9

Rule 34. If you sell it with a video of the extraction and bottling process you could be a millionaire by Monday. ((shudder))

10

Old joke: If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean the 5th one enjoys it?

11

*Oh shit, it’s bigger
It’s bigger than you
And you are not me
The toilet I will go to
The distance to the john
Oh no, I’ve said too much
I’ve said enough

That’s me in the shitter
That’s me in the spotlight
Sharing my diarrhea
Trying to keep up with poo
And I don’t know if I can do it
Oh no, I’ve said too much
I haven’t said enough

I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you cringe
I think I thought I saw you cry*

12

Ooh, man, now I’m regretting paying Ed for the Premium Scratch-‘N’-Sniff Membership…

13

For what it’s worth… I had it this morning too.

14

[Madge]

You’re soaking in it.

[/Madge]

15

Some people think it’s funny
but it’s really brown and runny

16

This is just too bad. Among the bizarre e-mails I have gotten at work was a request from a faculty member at the research center next door asking for samples of human diarrhea. I think you could have made him very happy.

17

I hope this diarrhea isn’t contagious. Oh, I never should have opened this thread.

18

Sounds like an interesting guy. But I wouldn’t want to shake his hand.

19

No shit.

20

Isn’t the Pit for crap spewing threads?