I know how you all love to share, so I thought I’d share that I have a mild case of diarrhea tonight. No idea where it came from but I was first feeling it around noon time. I just have to clench the old sphincter a few times an hour and finally let loose once in a while. Fortunately it’s not a burning hot stream of acid like liquid type.
Mind you, I don’t literally want to share. You are not invited over to watch, sniff, or take samples. Though I suppose there is a niche market somewhere for this if I bottle it up. Can I sell my own shit on eBay?
This is just too bad. Among the bizarre e-mails I have gotten at work was a request from a faculty member at the research center next door asking for samples of human diarrhea. I think you could have made him very happy.