This 4th of July four people were injured by a shark in Texas:
And one in Florida:
Some famous surfer from Hawaii was killed recently.
Tamayo Perry.
If now they’re attacking on two flanks …
We’re gonna need a bigger country.
Shark bites are always sensational news stories, but attacks are not really on the increase:
And you are much more likely to die from more mundane causes:
We’re not great at assessing risk - one is more likely to die driving to the beach than from a shark.
That sounds like something a shark would say…
Honest, Ma’am. I’m only a dolphin.
[knock knock]
Candygram.
Wait, four were attacked but two were bitten? Can sharks punch now?
Meh. Probably just a boating accident.
What’s worse than sharks? Sharks with shivs.
Worse even than that? Sharks with frickin’ laser beams on their heads. Good luck out-swimming or out-running that!
I’d rather take my chances with those than mutated, ill-tempered sea bass.
That shark had fireworks, obviously.
Sharks often bump potential prey before settling in to dine.
“Can shark’s punch now!” sounds like an imperative.