SHARK! WALLYMART! SHARK! WALLYMART! SHARK! Newslink.

A 5 foot shark was found in a Wal-Mart parking lot, miles from the Ocean.

Best line.

I guess there were no tornadoes in the area.

This is actually wonderful. The first dead shark was dumped on the hood of an RV in the middle of the night, like the racehorse’s head on Jackie Woltz’s pillow. The owner of the RV, with typical West Virginian aplomb, took it off the hood and laid it on the ground and went about his business (from the link). But, when the cops got there, the shark was in a shopping cart. So. Who was the Wal-Mart shopper whose first thought, (I’m assuming, “Hey, free dead shark,”) segued into the decision to take the shark for a ride somewhere in a shopping cart, and then almost immediately changed his/her mind? Because I haven’t met enough Wal-Mart shoppers yet, I have to believe it was whoever was originally tasked with dumping the second shark, the North Beach shark, the one the reporter inexcusably buried at the end of the story. This guy was obviously cheaping it out on the sharks, trying to get twice the shark-dumping mileage out of a single cartilaginous corpse. But it eventually became clear that pushing a shark in a shopping cart from a St. Augustine Wal-Mart to North Beach was infeasible, so a fresh one was procured.

Florida has a firm grip on strange shit. My first thought on seeing the thread title was “Florida”. I hereby propose that the OP’s title be adopted as that state’s new motto.

It’s a little known fact that sharks can smell even a small bargain from hundreds of miles away

I fully expect this incident to be adapted as a plot point in one of Tim Dorsey’s Serge Storms novels.

Well, a good portion of shark is cartilage; no bones about it. :stuck_out_tongue:
-d&r-

“Candygram.”

You wins da Interwebs, Young Webelo.