She criticized my apartment so I knocked her flat

No_Me_Ayudes_Compadre · October 4, 2006, 1:38pm

Can beer make you smart? It made Bud wiser.

Does music make you think? It made Stevie wonder.

astro · October 4, 2006, 1:49pm

I licked her beaver, so she flogged my weasel.

fishbicycle · October 4, 2006, 2:46pm

She was just a fisherman’s daughter, but you should have seen her reel when she saw my rod.

(courtesy MacLean & MacLean)

Colophon · October 4, 2006, 5:06pm

Or even, “She was only the fishmonger’s daughter, but she lay on the slab and said ‘Fillet!’”

Colophon · October 4, 2006, 5:11pm

One more like the OP:

“I ruffled her feathers; she knocked me down” (adopt Cockney accent for this one)

Nature_s_Call · October 4, 2006, 5:29pm

She has several supporters, and no knockers.

astro · October 4, 2006, 5:46pm

She asked me if I spoke in tongues, and I told her I was a cunning linguist.

Scribble · October 4, 2006, 5:53pm

If one-liners like this tickle your fancy, check all of these out.

Colophon · October 4, 2006, 5:53pm

The neighbours stole my gate. I took offence.

Scribble · October 4, 2006, 5:55pm

My neighbor stole my turf, the rotten old sod.

Uvula_Donor · October 4, 2006, 6:04pm

Meet me in front of the pawn shop and kiss me under the balls.

JSexton · October 4, 2006, 6:58pm

Me too! To make it worse, I’d always heard “‘I see’, said the blind man as he picked up his power tools.” which isn’t a pun at all, but merely a bad idea. I guess someone else heard it, didn’t get it, and tried to repeat the joke but failed.

chaoticbear · October 5, 2006, 2:52am

I saddled up her hen while she rode my cock?

Scarlett67 · October 5, 2006, 3:51am