She criticized my apartment so I knocked her flat

Are there any other puns in this form?

Nope, that’s it.

“He had the apartment up front and she had the flat behind.”

“I took her out in a canoe, but she criticized my singing and I paddled her back.”

These are pretty old. I’m sure there are a lot more.


There was also the guy who wanted to help the Save the San Andreas foundation, so he was generous to a fault.

Beethoven wrote this in four flats. He had to move three times before he finished it. (thank you Victor Borge)

“People say I’m generous to a fault. I have a thousand faults, and I’m generous to every one of them.” --Steve Allen

I’m reminded of the show Win Ben Stein’s Money. Every question had its own category, and every one of them involved some sort of pun/world play. The writers were genii.

“Throw a sponge in the water, and you’ll see something swell!”

Q) Why is American Beer like making love in a canoe?
A) Because there’s a B in Both and an N in Neither.

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

She said the elevator was broken, so I gave her a lift.

He turned on his heels and switched off the light.

(Sign in a bar)

Liquor up front, poker in the rear.

Let’s add some fun to this baseball game: the men kiss the woman on the strikes, and the women kiss the men on the balls.

So it’s not because it’d f*cking close to water?

He asked for my trunk so I gave him the boot.

He said it was a booger, but it’s not.

Song title: She Got the Goldmine (I Got the Shaft)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

(I love that one, because of the parallel structure, and what makes it works is that “time/fruit”, “flies” and “like” are different parts of speech in the 2 parts.)

I was walking along a narrow mountain path when I met a woman.
I couldn’t decide whether to toss her off or block her passage.

(Max Miller; Royal Variety performance, I believe)