A good pun is its own reword

O.K. so puns make everyone groan, (see title for a shining example). but nevertheless, sometimes there’s a certain satisfaction in a particularly good pun.

Post puns, (either your own or one you’ve heard, ideally examples from real life, not just one you read in a book somewhere) that you think were particularly witty/groan worthy.

To contribute, the local chaplain was visiting our house one day and happened to get talking about how unusual it was that he’d been stationed at the local school for so long. Normally, he said, chaplains get moved from school to school fairly often and he thought maybe the administration had just overlooked him. To which I replied;

“Well, I suppose it must have been a clerical error”

Now admittedly at the time it was as well received as a fart in a space suit, but in a sad, sad way, I was a little proud of it.:frowning:

So dopers, either mock me forever more, or validate my story with similar examples of your own.

Well, I thought my response in post 5 was pretty good: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=10526668#post10526668

Not bad :slight_smile:

Sometimes I’ll pun just to piss off some particularly pun-sensitive friends. Unfortunately, I can never recall the puns to later brag about them.

I’ve mentioned this one before. My sister, who lives in Japan, once passed on the bit of trivia that in Japan, the penis is sometimes referred to as the “Little Son”. I replied, “Gives whole new meaning to the phrase, ‘Land of the Rising Sun’!” Her only response is a steely glare. Puns are (sadly) not well-received.

The newspaper headlines are full of puns. Shakespeare’s work is loaded with them.

Puns are under appreciated and overly disparaged.

I made the local newspaper back in '83 when I was the first to notice that the movie, “Christine” was an autobiography. :stuck_out_tongue:
Those who pun can, those who can’t wish they could be so clever!

Comment from girlfriend after a long business trip:
Absence really does make the fond get harder.

Greeting for hemorrhoid sufferer:
So, how are things, on the whole?

In college, we had a crappy little chess set, and a cat. The cat knocked several of the pieces under the couch, and we recovered all of them except for a pawn. We drew a pawn on a scrap of paper and used it as a replacement.

Some months later, my roommate found the missing piece and held it up triumphantly. I pounced.

“That’s a relief,” I said, nonchalantly. “I was thinking about going out today to buy a replacement.”

He got this wonderful puzzled look on his face, thought about it for the right amount of time, and finally asked, “Where could you buy a replacement?”

I gave him a bemused, slightly withering look. “At the pawn shop, of course.”


It took me far too stupidly long to get that. Nicely done!

The only example I can recall right now unfortunately doesn’t translate very well into English:

I was out hiking with my then-girlfriend, in a somewhat mountain-y area, and had to cough, to which she said: “Das hallt voll!” (“That reverberated very strongly!”)

Upon which I, mock-examining the hand I’d clasped before my mouth, merely remarked: “Das war ja auch sehr gehaltvoll…” (“It was very content-rich, too…”)

It’s funny in German. Well, at least to me.

I still don’t get it.

Christine is an auto…biography. Very well done pun. One might even say it was worthy of capital punishment. :smiley:

I really enjoy a good pun. Pratchett’s got a few under his belt, none of which I can recall right now.

There was a thread on here discussing absinthe, where a clever person (obviously not me, then) noted “Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder”.

I’ll see if I can find it.

ETA: Ah, 'twas The Second Stone, here.

I know I’m going to smack my head…and it lessens the funny…but can one of you explain? I still don’t get it. :frowning:

Christine’s about a car. It’s an auto-biography.

An unintentional pun relayed to me by a friend, who made it in college.

They were discussing the trend toward removing any gender references to God in Christian music. Somebody asked if they had to do the same for Jesus.

The music director replied “No, we know Jesus was male, so it’s not a problem.”

To which my friend replied “Yeah, the bible says he was circumcised. That’s a pretty good tip-off there.”

In a staff meeting the discussion was the default value on a web application. The lead programmer, being a little frustrated, said he’d make the default anything the customer wanted if they’d make a decision “One, zero, pi, whatever.”

I looked at him and said “Don’t be irrational”.

I am going to repeat again my brother’s pun-related quick-wittedness (albeit not a pun itself).

A coworker said something that wasn’t a pun at all. Something lame like: “I’m going to the pet shop on Saturday. Hope it doesn’t rain cats and dogs!”

Said coworker then said: “No pun intended.”

To which my brother replied: “None taken.”

My friend and I play Scrabble on my couch and when we were trying to put all the tiles back into the bag, one ran wild and ended up under the couch. So I said, “It’s all fun and games till someone loses an I.”

Funny you should mention absinthe. I was reading a reference book on 19th-century luthier who used the stuff to bleach the wood of his stringed instruments - it not only lightened the color of the wood but lent it an amazing sheen. His technique was a lost secret until recently, when sphisticated testing on one of his instruments proved that absinthe made the harp grow blonder.

I can see how a badly timed vowel movement would interfere with the enjoyment of the game.

I think I worked at the zoo with your friend! I was the vet they called in to circumcise the male baby elephants. It didn’t pay much, but the tips were huge.

And now one of my own, which I came up with and delivered while playing the part of Doc Webster in a “Callahan’s Place” RPG. The topic was money puns. (Bear in mind that this story dates from before Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull came along.)

“It’s funny you should mention the movies,” I said (someone just had). "I found myself stuck in an elevator recently with Steven Spielberg, and we got to talking. He told me that he and Harrison Ford were working on an idea for a fourth Indiana Jones movie, wherein the archaeologist went in search of a necklace with a cursed jewel hanging off it. Spielberg said that everything was in place except the financing – he needed to make this one without the studios for some reason, and his usual backers weren’t able to help.

He told me that in desperation, he’d resorted to taking money from a Mexican bank-robber who was looking to launder a big pile of pesos from his latest heist. I said that was pretty surprising, because…

… it’s unusual to see robber dinero involved with an Indy pendant film.