OK, who’s got some really short jokes? (And I mean real jokes, not things like “The idea that a Republican president will reduce the deficit”.) Nothing longer than 10 words allowed!!!
The shortest joke might be Henny Youngman’s “Take my wife … please.” (Although it seems like that’s just the punch line, with a set-up line preceding it.)
I expect that various Tom Swifties should qualify, and maybe some knock-knock jokes (if the answer to “Who’s there?” is one word, you get three words for the punchline).
Here’s my contribution:
What’s the difference between parsley and pussy?
Nobody eats parsley.
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
What’s a foot long and slippery?
A slipper.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
What’s invisible and smells like a carrot?
Rabbit farts.
I had my wife in stitches the other day with a two-word joke, though you’d have to have some idea of how our lives are going right now to truly understand. The joke? I simply said, “I’m bored.”
How do know a pepper is nosy? It’s jalapeño business.
mmm
What’s brown and rhymes with snoop?
Enginerd started it…
**
What’s the difference between Jews and canoes?**
Canoes tip.
Did you really just cheat to make that one fit the rules? I admire your dedication.
ETA: I realize now that it can be rewritten properly as “How do you know a pepper’s nosy?” in order to meet the word limit, so I give you full marks anyway!
There are 10 types of people in the world: those
Um… no I didn’t.
Anyway… how does Snoop Doggy Dogg do his laundry?
Two peanuts walked into a bar and one was assaulted.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, to whom.
I have a joke about pizza but it’s kinda cheesy.
There’s one mohel who’s paid only in tips.
Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was assaulted.
Horse walks into a bar.
Bartender: Why the long face?
Let’s stay away from antisemitic “humor,” please.
No warning issued.
twickster, MPSIMS moderator
Yes, children, we should only tell jokes that Mama Twicks finds funny.
I’ve heard the same joke with Norwegians.
Oh, Sublight’s joke from this threadwould fit. I love that one.
It’s item #42, I think.
Actually, isn’t that the whole joke? A pun on “take x” when it implies “for example.”
My contribution:
Juneau what’s the biggest state’s capital? Dunno, but Alaska!
Why don’t blind men skydive?
It scares their dog.