She criticized my apartment so I knocked her flat

I have never gotten this one. I’ve always pictured throwing a banana. :o

She was great to the Navy but rotten to the Corps.

The joke is that the second part sounds like it’s saying that a piece of fruit flies similarly to a banana, but it also means that fruit flies, as in the little insects that eat fruit, enjoy a banana. I think.

I’m sorry, I caught it the first time you pointed it out. My post should have read “I had never noticed that before…” in order for the readers to parse it correctly. My bad.

They’re almost Tom Swifties, but moreso.

“I see”, said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw.

Some really funny replies here! I appreciate all of them - one simply cannot have too many puns in one’s repertoire. However, the puns I’m after are in the form of a statement followed by similar statement rephrased with double meaning.

My example could have been written (avoiding the double entendre), “She criticized my apartment so I criticized her appartment.”

The San Andreas one works, as does the “girls kiss the boys on the balls” (love that one!!!)

The canoe one would work, perhaps if we phrase it, “In the canoe, she brought me there and I paddled her back.”

Here’s one reply from another forum (not quite the form, but I’ve GOT to tell y’all): “If Satan ever lost his hair there would be hell toupé.”

I don’t get it.

I don’t get it.

One of my favorite words is zeugma

A man walked into a bar and said, “Ouch!”

I’ve always heard this as:

Two guys walk into a bar, the third guy ducks…

But whatever floats your boat…

Here’s an original joke in the making. Feel free to improve it.

In construction, when you work on the ground, that’s known as working “below.” When you work on the upper floors, that’s known as working “above.” Statistically, there aren’t many women who like doing an above-job. But most men enjoy a good below-job.

Related: “I can talk”, said the mute man, as he picked up a wheel and spoke.

:eek: :eek: :eek:

We really need a “lightbulb” going off emoticon.

I first hear the “blind man/hammer and saw” thing about 30 years ago. It was not until this moment that I realized it was a pun on the word “saw”. I just thought it was nonsensical.

I read through about third of this thread trying to determine if any of these phrases rose to a high level of wit, but, alas, no pun in ten did.

By giving duplicate excuses of pedophilia, both the Amish killer and the Congressmen suffered a case of folie à deux.

A form of word play, best shown by example:

“Have a drink” said Tom cordially
“They had to amputate them both at the ankles,” Tom said defeatedly

and the epitome of the form, IMO:

“Take the prisoner downstairs” said Tom condescendingly

That guy seems to be having a wheel good time in his boxy Honda. I suppose it’s just because that he’s in his Element.

Or, even if he’s not in his Element, and he’d rather be elsewhere, you can’t say anyone forced him into it. He bought that Honda of his own Accord.

Maybe he felt ethically bound to get the car; perhaps it was his Civic duty.

Ah, yes. Word play. Whereby people often mean something other than what the connotative parsing of their words and/ or sentances might lead you to believe.

I still don’t get how,
They’re almost Tom Swifties, but moreso.
is wordplay.
But, I can see how the subtlety could elude you. (<-- little to no word play involved)

“Get in the back of the boat” said Tom sternly.
“No daughter of mine is going out dressed like that!” said Tom a little tartly.
“I’ll loan you a thousand dollars at nought per cent” said Tom disinterestedly.
“I could’ve been a great straight man” said Tom wisely.