Twenty bucks, same as in town.
Assume a spherical cow.
C’mon, Fanny, let’s get out of here.
(95 points): Which tire?
About 20 drachmas a week.
My dog? I thought he was your dog!
A canoe sometimes tips.
A good start.
A large pizza can feed a family of four.
(My personal favorite) Say, fella, why the long face?
Is this some kind of joke?
And I said, “I remember you.”
“But before you go, would you sign a couple of these balls for Him?”
“Turn her over, I’d rather have a puppy!”
They’re both f*cking close to water.
You think I shouldve said DiMaggio?
Because of the Peeking duck.
Right! Now tell me how old I am!
There are more of them, the researchers don’t get as attached to them, and there are some things that rats just won’t do.
Just put it on my bill.
You’re one mean drunk, Superman.
Die! Die! Die!
Well, no wonder! Look what you gone and done in there!
That’s nothing. Wait till I use both feet.
“Youre an asshole when youre drunk, Superman…”
Speaking Loudly, “…50 DOLLARS??!”
“King Arthur!! You gave me the wrong key!!”
“What I really wanted was a 12 inch penis”
“Alriiight…Wheres that old lady with the bad tooth?”
“Dont worry, once he’s finished fucking with it, he’ll play it…”
They taste funny.
Because it was dead.
“I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
“I didn’t say she was crazy. I said she was f**cking Goofy!”
“I don’t know, but damn, my ass is sore!”
“No, I’m a frayed knot.”
“Imagine that. A talking dog!”
Wanna go camping?
Take out the S in Safe and the F in Way!
A Ferrous Wheel
“I think it’s just the light from the stained glass window.”
You can see his footprints in the butter.
“I see the problem - you’re two tents!”
Sam and Janet evening…
“For the last eight holes, it was hit the ball, drag Bob, hit the ball, drag Bob.”
Then a voice booms: “Bo Derek, you have sinned!”
I’m Cess!
One live one on the bottom eating it’s way out.
And whatever God wants, he can keep!
If you hold on a minute, I can save you $5000.
More lawyers.
Drool.
“Book, book, book.”
Artie Chokes 10 for $1.00
The knock speeds up.
Homeless.
The possum was on it’s way to a gig.
A good start. (rats, just saw someone already got this one!)
Air pollution.
Ouch!
Sandy claws.
Holy cow!, Look at all those F*ckin indians
It’s a Knick Nac, Patty Wack, so give the frog a loan
Oh, You’ve played that game before
They have really big tongues
Sure I can play it, once I find out how to get it’s pyjamas off.
So, how do you drive this thing?
Sir.
That’s an awful big word for a 12 year old.
Nah, that’s just snot.
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
This is a lighthouse, your call.
What do you mean we white man?
A rooster clucks defiant
All right, I’m only going to show you how to do this one more time…
To keep it from exploding.
“Hello, Mom?”
One to change it, one to say “I can do that”, two to argue about who could’ve changed it faster and better, and one to drone on about how Eddie Van Halen would have changed it.
Just one. He holds the bulb and the world revolves around it.
What’s a light bulb?
The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.
He just keeps ringing your doorbell because he doesn’t know when to come in.
Homeless.
She drops him off at band practice.
Pay for the pizza.