Please tell me there are some of you out there that have done things equally idiotic:
As I am now sans employment, I have more time to cook. Wanting to make chicken salad, I started cutting up the chicken piece…and then realized it was still raw. Duh.
Does anyone know a lot about the human brain and how it functions (or in my case, how it DOESN’T)? I’m just curious why I didn’t think about the actual cooking step of the process before proceeding to make the chicken salad.
I’ve said before - if I die in a horrible wreck of some sort, I would like to donate my brain to science. Perhaps they can learn from it.
I needed to shorten the power cord for a record player once. I didn’t bother to check to see if it was unplugged before I cut it with the wire cutters…
I was helping my father fix the floor in the attic, and there was a hole about a foot across, and I told my dad I was going to put a blanket over it to remind us not to step there, or put anything down there. Well, me, being the genious I am, I ended up putting the tool box down right on top of the blanket. Down the tool box went, all over the floor of the living room.
I was putting up my bookshelves in a new apartment. There’s a strap to attach the top of the shelves to the wall so they don’t fall over in an earthquake or something. I had to stack a couple boxes of books and stand on them to reach over the top of the shelves, and it was a really awkward position hunched over against the ceiling and reaching forward with my hands. I finally got everything secured and stepped back to admire my handiwork.
Girlfriend’s parents’ house, second time to meet them.
Steep driveway.
Manual transmission.
Forgot to put the car in gear when I got out.
The parking break holds long enough for me to not notice anything awry. We go inside; about 3 minutes later, CRASH.
Car rolled down the hill, across the street, and tagged someone’s parked car. :smack:
Ah well, at least it wasn’t her parents’ car. 
–IDB
Long story:
I was oh-so-proud to have my brand new Boston Red Sox license plate frame. My car at the time was a bit old and the plate screws hadn’t been touched in years, so they were a bit rusty and tough to get off. When I tried to get them off, the car would shake a bit, so to remedy this, I put on the emergency brake to solidify the car’s standing. Then I forgot about this and drove around all day with the emergency brake on, wearing it out to nothing. This is merely stupid thing I did that week #1.
The next day, I had another occassion to park my car in the (slightly inclined) driveway. I put it in neutral for a moment so I could move it slightly (I believe it was in the way of the basketball hoop). No problem, though, since I applied the emergency brake, just reaching in through the open window of the car. As I start to walk away, the worn-out emergency brake (from the aforementioned story) proves its uselessness and the car starts to roll away down the driveway.
My wife’s car at the time, which we were trying to sell, was off to the side of the driveway. Seeing my car heading right for it, I ran after my car and thrust the top of my body into the open window. With my legs hanging out and unable to reach the gearshift to put it in park, I noticed that my legs, if I didn’t abandon ship soon, would be crushed between my runaway car and my wife’s parked car. I jumped out just in time to see my car sideswipe hers, bounce off of it like a bumper car, and continue down the driveway into the road, which it crossed. The car came to rest in the neighbor’s yard with no further damage. I had to explain to my wife how I had managed to damage both of our cars without being in either one of them at the time.
But the Red Sox license plate frame looks great.
Yesterday I borrowed my friend’s lawnmower. The handle breaks down to easily fit in the back of my Xterra. The silly handcloth towel does not work well as a chock for the lawnmower since it appruptly rolled backwards and busted out my rear window. At least it’s May. . .
(I almost Pitted myself over this, but decided it wasn’t worth it)
Insomnia4am’s post reminded me of a brush that I had with brilliance.
I was helping my father put up a plant hanger for my mom in the kitchen. His plan was to drill a starter hole in the ceiling and then screw the hook into the pilot hole. He sends me up to the attic to wait for the drill bit to come through and to give him a yell when I see it. He pushes the drill through the ceiling, all the while screaming to me at the top of his lungs “Do you see it yet?” I keep screaming back at him “No, Pop. Not Yet”. After a long while of this, my mom finally says to my dad " Do you really expect that drill bit to make it all the way up to the attic, what with that WHOLE SECOND FLOOR in between???"
D’oh:smack:
Today I got up and threw a load of pants and shorts in the washer. Slept for another 30 minutes, and threw another load in, putting the first in the dryer. Then got ready to go golfing with a friend, at which point I realized, all my suitable shorts were sopping wet. I had to cancel my golfing. The public course doesn’t have much of a dress code, but I’m pretty sure they expect pants.
I once installed a deadbolt for the mother-in law. New deadbolt in place, time to install a new strike plate in the jamb. Slipped the strike plate over the bolt, closed the door enough to make my mark on the jamb. Opened, chiseled, drilled and screwed. Voila. Seemed I had marked the top of the plate then installed it ABOVE my mark! Made a real good impression on the mom in law.
Couple weeks ago I was working on a circuit for an engineering class. Holding a wire in my left hand, I realize I need to use both hands to install a component. Smartguy me decides to free up his hands by holding the wire in his mouth.
Worked for about half a minute before I realized I was holding a live wire in my mouth. /sigh :smack: