I had to let someone come in my house yesterday for the first time since March. When I got up Tuesday, I found that my modem had died. I don’t have a smart phone so that cut off my contact with the world - no internet, no TV. AT&T couldn’t send a tech out until Thursday afternoon. My first thought was that I was going to lose my fucking mind enduring 3 days of disconnection. (I got better .) But being home alone almost all the time, the internet is a big social outlet. And I spend more time here at the forums than I did in the Before Times. Just having this connection can be a lifesaver in the darkest, loneliest hours.
So I had no choice but to let someone in to fix the problem. I was very anxious about it and spent hours preparing my safety plan. I had closed off the living room and shut down the A/C when the tech arrived. I stood on the porch with the front door open. He was not a pleasant fellow, humorless and sarcastic. I let him do his work. His back was to me but at one point I saw he had lowered his mask to his chin. I asked him to please put it back on. Just before he left, I noticed it below his nose. So if he was infected, he had spread aerosols throughout the living room. And if he was unconcerned about the safety of his customer, I imagine he didn’t take his own seriously either. So fuck.
After he left, I kept the front door open for another 30 minutes and then retreated to my office where the cats were and finally got online. I kept my mask on for 3 more hours (once having to go back through the living room to go feed the outside kitties) since I’ve read that the aerosols can remain in the air for at least that long. A few hours later I sprayed the floor with Lysol, threw a blanket over the couch and wore gloves to put all the equipment back in place and wipe off surfaces. I didn’t open it up or turn on the A/C for another few hours when I went to bed.
Yeah, maybe all that was overkill. I don’t know. There’s no cheat sheet on how to handle it. I will be anxious for the next 2 weeks. And there will be no yard visits for now and the time is getting shorter for being able to do that. I’m dreading winter which is my favorite season. But the early darkness makes everything feel like it’s closing in. I just never thought I’d worry about my mental health the way I do now. And I’ve got to get a smart phone.
Thank you @elfkin477 for reviving this thread. No one in my “real life” understands even one molecule of my utterly solitary life. A high school friend of mine emailed that now that she can’t see her grandchildren, when she and husband John sit down to dinner alone every night, they know exactly what I am going through. She really thinks that having dinner with her husband every night (and presumably crawling into bed with him later) gives her a window into “ThelmaLou’s World” (see relevant Wyeth painting). And this woman is a THERAPIST! Empathy much?
I feel that you all do “get it,” so please check in here and vent. I am reluctant to report too much on my misery elsewhere on the board, as these circumstances are <I’m gonna say it> impossible for others to relate to. Even my close group of women friends whom I’ve known for 30+ years are all sheltering with family. When I reached out on our continuing text thread and described how alone I’ve been feeling I am, I got NO replies. Well, one of them (who lives with her two adult daughters and teen grandson) did reply, “I don’t know how you do it.” People don’t know what to say because the experience is unrelatable.
When I was newly a widow, people sincerely tried to grok what it was like for me, but in truth, only other widowed people really got it. Just like, being childless, I cannot feel what parents (and grandparents) are going through right now except by a completely inadequate approximation. I totally recognize that.
So, please do keep this thread alive during what I fear will be the “long cold lonely winter” that the Beatles sang about. It may or may not be followed by sun.
Do let me say that while I won’t claim to understand, I do send you folks virtual hugs. This is naturally easier for some than others depending on former lifestyle. I was already wired for this.
Yeah, that sort of thing gets me really snarly. ‘We want some people to shut themselves up altogether so that others don’t have to have any restrictions at all’ – no, don’t give me that!
I’m kind of lucky that way too.
I’m also lucky in having 80 acres to get outside on; and cats to hug. And I haven’t been in total isolation; I do errands, though in fewer places and more rarely than I used to; and I’ve been doing farmers’ markets; and talk to the neighbors outdoors.
But there are people who can’t get out at all; and who don’t even have a cat or dog with them. And they’re supposed to keep on living like that so that other people can go get drunk inside bars with no masks on. – discourse’s rage emoji is entirely inadequate; it just looks annoyed to me.
Well, I’m a card carrying introvert. I’ve been an only child all of my life and childless all of my adult life. I was married for 10 of my 71 years. But to be deprived of ALL social activities… choir (2 of them), book club, monthly women’s group, classes and workshops, lunching with friends, symphony and chamber music concerts, visiting in person, attending synagogue in person,and just about all human contact (except medical)… for who knows how long? I guess I need to be rewired.
I’m a mix. I’m really good at being alone and need that alone time, but I also need to be around and interact with people.
I may have said this way back, but one thing I struggle with is that THIS isolation reminds me too much of the social isolation I had in my marriage. I worked, but I couldn’t get together with friends. (He never said no, but if I went, I paid for it for days afterward.) The things I tell myself now–Just focus on today. Be grateful for the roof over your head. Concentrate on the kids and the siblings–are the same things I said every day for almost 9 years. (I was married over 30 years, and it was always tough, but things got truly hellish the last 9 years.) I deliberately avoid thinking about those years, but the self-talk brings them back.
I need to figure out a new way of dealing with all this.
I met up with a friend yesterday and we went for a long walk together. Last week I dropped by the office and chit-chatted with the few folks who were there. About a month ago I attended a backyard socially distance Happy Hour with coworkers. But besides this, my social life has been purely electronic. Having said that, I have grown closer to my mother–who I talk to twice or three times a week (pre-pandemic we could go weeks without a word).
So far, so good. I don’t feel too deprived. I am terrified of getting sick, though.
Things are about the same for me, but that may change. I’ve been working from home since March, but I have gone in to the office four or five times since then. My company has limited the number who can be there at one time, and there’s a check-in process so we have a record of who was there, and when. And there are masks and hand sanitizer and such. I had to go in last Wednesday, and I think there were four other people, in an office that should hold ~150.
On Thursday I got a call that one of the other people had tested positive. I have a test scheduled for tomorrow afternoon; fingers crossed.
Good Luck Robot. My bosses boss has hinted that working from home will be the new normal. I’m all for that. Not sure what they will do with the empty offices. We (County Gov) owns the building.
One coworker (at least) has grabbed her stand up/down desk and one monitor from work. I grabbed my office chair and have purchased a 32" and a 43" monitor. Waiting for new graphics card for my home computer, should be able to pick it up at UPS box tomorrow.
Thanks. I brought home a couple monitors when we closed the office in March. Since then, the company has decided that working from home will be the default from now on. They’ve been picking up the cost for home desks and office chairs, and a few other things.
I test robots for a living, though. There’s an awful lot that we can test with various simulations, but every once in a while I need to use the real things.
The blurred spoilers on this platform aren’t really that spoiled. If one has a general idea what is says, you can make out, sort-of, what it actually says. I could make out, for example, that it says “live” instead of “die”.
.) But being home alone almost all the time, the internet is a big social outlet. And I spend more time here at the forums than I did in the Before Times. Just having this connection can be a lifesaver in the darkest, loneliest hours.
She really thinks that having dinner with her husband every night (and presumably crawling into bed with him later) gives her a window into “ThelmaLou’s World” (see relevant 
