This is a hotline to use if you need to talk to someone.
844-863-9314
So, I’m pretty emotional. Lots of swings in my mood. Sometimes I’m just so angry with how awful everything is and other times I’m just overwhelmed with grief and fear for my loved ones.
I live alone and have no pets. Wishing I’d gotten a dog! I was just starting to look for work when all this started, but now I’m just going to ride this out for awhile. So I’m home all the time.
So even though I don’t need to, I make myself shower and dress every day. I allow myself one good cry in the shower and then I try hard not to cry anymore for the rest of the day. I’m not always successful. I already lost it today when I saw a clip on the Today show featuring an Alicia Keyes song. Whew. I can’t see stuff like that right now.
Anyway, I could use some coping mechanisms. Got any strategies you can share?
I had a moment on Monday after the president’s presser. All the negative emotions welled up in me. And when I called my parents to maybe get some comfort, they made it worst by playing the Christian sage role.
I’ve also had more nightmares about diseases and death over the past couple of weeks than I’ve probably had in my entire life.
But other than that, I think I’m doing well. I enjoy working from home. I enjoy watching my cat have fun in the backyard. I enjoy being able to eat dinner at 6:00 instead of 7:00. I enjoy listening to music all day long and being able to lift weights whenever I want and being able to walk different places every day instead of the same boring route. I also enjoy not having to do anything with my hair in the mornings. I don’t have to fret about my cowlicks or applying product to my hair to keep it from frizzing up in the humidity. Reminding myself of all the small yet enjoyable things about being a shut-in has really helped me mentally, I think.
I am worried about my parents, who live just outside of Atlanta. But I am also finding comfort in resigning myself to whatever happens. I don’t want them to die. I don’t want them to suffer. But I’m just not going to think about those things anymore. If they want to drive around town looking for TP, there’s no point in me getting mad over that. It’s not going to help them or my situation for me to get worked up about what they may or may not be doing.
I’m usually not an anxious sort of person, but this thing just has me on edge- neither the prospect of being cooped up in the house for a long period, or getting out and ending up sick as hell appeals to me. But those seem to be the choices for the near-term. And I worry about my parents, my aunts/uncles, and my wife’s parents and aunts/uncles. Pretty much all of them are squarely in the crosshairs- elderly, poor health, etc… and I’m not sure they really get it either- I’m not convinced my mother doesn’t understand that she shouldn’t have her housekeeper over, even if she herself isn’t going anywhere. Then there’s the dual stressors of having my wife recovering from gallbladder surgery and our kids being home 24/7. And my job is jointly paranoid about being able to control us if we’re not there, as well as having some kind of documentation of what we’re doing in case of some asshole submitting open records requests. (apparently there’s a small gaggle of dickheads who think it’s their job to pester governments and nitpick their internal workings in the name of being watchdogs or some shit). So we’re being required to document what we’re working on and when in a way that’s totally absurd. Before- I might talk to my boss once or twice a week either in a quick elevator style call, or via Skype if she has a question. Now we have a morning meeting, 3 status emails and a work log every single day. I can’t roll my eyes enough to express how dumb this is.
All in all I’m doing ok, but I’m more on edge/anxious than usual.
I had my “Holy shit, this is going to be catastrophic!” moment early on and got past it. I, too, live alone. In my case, I can’t work, and the vision issues that made working impossible made driving impossible. So for me, this is less of an adjustment than for most people.
I’m now in the midst of a cancer scare. (I’ve had cancer before. It may be back.) This is an even worse time than usual to find out you have cancer. If it turns out not to be cancer, I guarantee the current pandemic won’t seem quite as stressful.
I’m going out for daily walks, and I highly recommend it. You’ll get fresh air, see healthy plants, birds, and animals, and get an endorphin boost from the exercise.
My friends and I check in on each other daily. I know there are people who would miss me right away if I got sick and couldn’t post.
Also, try to make yourself stick to a schedule and don’t second-guess it.
Finally, focus on the moment you’re in. Imagining a grim future doesn’t help you prepare for it emotionally. I’m not saying deny reality. I’m just saying all we ever have is the moment we’re in. You’re OK in this moment. Savor that.
I was so bored that I thought, “Hey, now is the time to put some box braids in my hair.” I started sectioning. After about half an hour I decided I was not that bored yet and maybe I would take the opportunity to regrout my bathroom tile. Haven’t done that yet either, because I don’t have a Dremel, but it could happen.
So even in a pandemic I am able to procrastinate. So I will also put off my nervous breakdown.
I was talking with a couple of friends (on Zoom) and one of them said something about getting together “when the crisis is over.” The other one said, “What makes you think it’s going to be over?”
And my thought was, it can only be a crisis for so long. Then it’s something else.
Life hasn’t changed all that much for us. I know my wife misses volunteering at the museum, but we don’t otherwise do much in the way of gatherings. We do like to eat out occasionally, but can live without it.
So far the only emotional content associated with coronavirus:
a) Being the incredibly self-centered person that I am, I want the release of my book to go well, and the virus is impinging upon that a bit
b) Far above and beyond political partisanship, I have a fervent hatred for the specific person who occupies the white house and all he stands for personally and personality-wise, and I’m torn between wanting things to go severely bad during his shift, so he’ll be (stupidly) blamed in November, and feeling concern for the folks so affected
c) I’m a bit restless although I have enough to do at home. I think I don’t mind staying at home when it’s my idea but I feel imposed on when I’m told to keep myself at home.
Let me know if you want someone to talk to. Phone or email.
When I need to go to Dunkin or a food place, I must find someone to drive me through. But once my library books are done(soon), I will need more. Any Bathroom Readers you don’t want, send me them.
I had a panic attack Saturday morning and every day since then have woken with an anxious stomach. I either sleep too much or don’t sleep. I’ve been eating more junk food than normal. I have 2 outlets for stress—the gym, and my horse. The gym is closed, as is the barn where my mare lives. I am a hospital librarian and have been going to work. Last night I made the decision I will be working at home til the state stay at home order is lifted. I’m at outdoors kinda gal and the next few days are filled with rain and cold weather. I plan on doing yoga or low impact aerobics at home and walking outside if possible. I have a few hobbies, papercrafting and reading. I’m stay in touch via phone with my sister and BFF.
I’m not so worried for myself; I’ve got work to do at home, am still getting paid, and if that happens to dry up, I can make it for a couple of years at least, with a bit of belt-tightening. So as long as my particular corner of the world doesn’t turn into a Road Warrior hellscape, I should be fine.
What I do worry about are some of the people I know (for example a close relative already has cancer with associated respiratory issues and potentially would not survive a bout of COVID-19) and all those poor souls who have been thrown out of their jobs with little or no notice. It took at least ten years and a world war to drag the US out of the Great Depression; so far I see no reason whatever to conclude, as Mr. Trump seems to, that the country is going to bounce back from its current troubles in a matter of a few months.
I have ups and downs. I am diagnosed OCD and depressive. My last really bad episode, which lasted about 4 months, was in 2017. Hypochondria was, and has always been, a component of it. Since then I have been taking extended-release Xanax daily, and this does a frankly amazing job of keeping me calm, about 80% of the time. (Two antidepressants as well.) Without it, I would be totally fucked right now. I’m able to stay fairly unemotional about the virus; I think I’m doing a good job of self-isolation. My partner and I have been sequestered here at our house for the past 2 weeks. She has made a few grocery runs - during off hours. (We already had a stockpile enough for about a month, but we have been adding to it just in case.) I on the other hand have not left the house other than to walk around the neighborhood (and it’s a beautiful neighborhood for walking - thank God for small blessings) and, today, to pick up a prescription refill.
I called my prescriptions in to a pharmacy with a drive-through window rather than the one I usually use which does not have a window. The money and pills were exchanged through a metal drawer. I pumped hand sanitizer all over my hands after I grabbed the bag, and then when I got home, I removed the vials from the bag (which I disposed of) and sprayed bleach all over the vials, then washed them off in the sink.
A package arrived yesterday from Amazon - I opened the package with long-handled gardening shears, used the shears to grab the outer packaging and dispose of it, and then sprayed the contents (disposable vapes sealed in plastic cases) with bleach.
Tomorrow I am supposed to go to a car restoration shop and pick up some parts to build custom Mustang center consoles. The shop is running a skeleton crew and I’m unlikely to have to get very close to anybody, but I will probably let the parts sit in my truck for a few days before I start handling them (it’s not like this is a time sensitive project.)
Projects like this, various home improvement projects, practicing bass and drums, and remotely piecing together tracks with the members of my band who I maddeningly have not been able to play with in a month, help me keep my mind OFF of the virus and its greater implications for life and society. If I DON’T channel my mind into doing these things, my default activity is to think about the virus, and worry about the shitty political situation as well. Up until now, I had been enjoying following the election, if somewhat pessimistic about its outcome. Now I’m frankly terrified if I spend any time dwelling on it.
I had my “Oh Shit” moment last week while returning from picking-up some take-out from a favorite restaurant. Empty restaurant, empty roads. I knew at that point this is real.
As for coping, my company sent us all home a couple weeks ago so have been teleworking (I had been doing that 95% anyway for a few weeks prior) and having work is a decent distraction - projects are still rolling along… I have also been spending a lot of time outside walking and bicycling (solo) when it is nice. A walk at lunch and another one before sundown have been great. Long-ish bike ride on the weekend days, and paddling over at the lake occasionally. Basically staying busy outside.
Otherwise, I am staying away from the news and social media ('cept the Dope!), eating well, catching-up on Netflix, and getting plenty of rest. Everyone else in my house has pretty much stayed inside for the past week+, so the outdoors in general is my escape (from them, and the situation). I am trying not to think too much about things, to be honest, and just trying to stay busy.
I think its OK to be sad and scared and confused in a situation like this. The uncertainty is probably the worse part. I’m worried about my Beloved Butthead, I’m worried about his mother. We have a ton of foster critters we can’t show but who really need homes of their own. (Some folks are using our website and calling, but we used to place a LOT of pets at PetCo.)
I’m doing my best to keep busy. I have a large needlepoint project to do, I’m playing in my garden much more, dogs are being walked enough to distract them from the closed dog park they enjoy so much, and I’m clicker training one of our cats.
Also, for those who don’t know, Diablo I has been re-released and can be played on modern comps now. You can get Diablo II through Blizzard. We have the time to waste, lets waste it!!!
I was doing really good. Sure, I was working in a grocery store six days a week 10+ hours a day with the panicky general public, and worried about my-sister-the-doctor, and struggling to get MY grocery shopping done because at the end of my shift the shelves were stripped, and…
… well, in addition to talking to friends and my sister and spending time with my parrots who KNOW they’re cute the social worker who ran the widow’s group I joined after my husband died was checking up on me, giving me some time each week for me to work through my fears and give me support, BUT -
Yesterday her son wound up in the ICU of Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago, on a ventilator, due to covid (which explains why I heard nothing from her for several days). He’s in his early 30’s, no known health problems.
So now I’m providing emotional support to her, because she needs it more than me right now.
And I’m OK with that - but not quite sure how to keep my own anxiety under control as they situation both locally and nationally continues to deteriorate. I’ll come up with something, somehow.
We’re likely no worse than usual. We’ve self-isolated by being mostly snowbound for the last couple weeks but I managed to make a store pickup a couple days ago and will go again tomorrow. Our media, food, intoxicants, and sanitation consumption haven’t altered much. Boredom and cabin fever threaten but we’ve been snowbound before. National news angers and stresses me about the same as before but with more focus now. But I may ask to be excused for [del]firebombing[/del] spitting at GOP offices.*
That’s this week. Next week I may go totally full fucking bullmoose loony.
Disaster affected my old rural neighborhood some years back. Our do-little GOP governor at the time helicoptered to my and other damaged communities but at many, his security detail wouldn’t allow him out of the chopper because hostile locals. The current US Rep in my ® district hasn’t appeared lately. Is he prudent? Might potential loonies impede politicking?
I’ve been mostly house bound for an extended time anyway. The month of Feb. It was nearly quarantine.
I’ve never had a problem being by myself. I kinda like it.
I am worried about my extended family. So many are aging and have health issues.
I’m the epitome of sunny optimist. Makes people sick, most of the time.
At the moment my youngest and middle daughter are here with me. And grandkids. My son and family live close and are in and out.
I make sure anyone coming in sanitizes and leaves their shoes on the deck.
With the announcement yesterday from the Chinese government banning entry/re-entry to China of foreigners, and my wife stuck overses, my mental health might take a swing for the worse. Luckily, she’s in South Korea (not in Daegu) so she’s safer than she would be in other countries.
Thank you for asking because my mental health is horrible.
I have no family and no job. (I’m retired.). My life was my friends, my curling club, my travel, and my volunteer work, and all of that has been taken away from me and banned by law. I sit in my condo, read, watch old movies, and stare at the wall, with no human interaction, every day exactly like the last, and no end in sight.
I have no financial or health issues and so am luckier than many people, but it is still hell on earth. Thank you for listening.