I would say…
Nope
She is jsut too young and he is way over the line.
That said I did meet a 15 year when I was 20 and had a bit of a crush on her but even though she had a crush on me I did not act on it. So I can understand the attraction but it’s just not right unless you in Applachia.
Normally guys who are 20 should be looking for mates that are a bit closer to their own age. I suggest you tell her that he’s going after her for most likely unsavory reasons and that she should seek companionship of someone who is her own age.
I just turned 20 last week, and am going out with a girl that is turning 17 in a week. Please tell me that is OK… Not that I’m gonna dump her anyway.
Given the amount of time these two have known each other, I’ld say it was a bad idea. That being said, the age thing shouldn’t be a stigma. My parents were 23 and 17 when they met. I’m 26 and my girlfriend is 18. We have nothing to be ashamed of and I’m sure my parents didn’t either. Granted, these days some bad shit can happen to a little girl who meets the wrong guy.
If these two had known each other for a significant amount of time, I don’t see the problem. Christ, I think my grandparents were married at that age in Sicily.
Cess, good to see you back. How have you been?
As for the situation you discussed; I, along with most of society, think it’s wrong for a 20 year old to have a relationship with a 15 year old. I’m willing to concede there may be a couple out there somewhere that could make this work, but the odds are overwhelmingly against it. If these two think their relationship is strong enough to survive the stigma, then it should be strong enough to survive a three year wait.
Handy, no offense, but where do you get this stuff? Show me a cite of any law that says it’s okay to have sex with a 14 year old if her parents give permission.
In some countries, the age of consent could be 15. I believe in most of Europe it is 16. I was surprised when I saw the U.K. Playboy showing topless 16 year old’s.
When I was 20, spending a few weeks in the hospital from a bad car wreck, this cute 15 year old, well developed, candy striper took a liking to me. She wheeled me around the hospital and was quite pleasant. I did not pursue it because of the minor/non-minor stuff. I wish I had kept in touch. Even without serious sex she could have continued to be a friend. Then maybe I could have waited 2 years (in many states of the U.S. the age of consent is 17). At 38, I would find it now likely harder to resist, but I would. If I could be 20 again, I may take my chances.
Well, down here in Appalachia we always try to get married off by the time we’re 12…at 15 you’re a spinster and should take what you can get…even if he is 45!
In all seriousness though, my parents met when he was 26 and she was 18, and they’re going strong today, 25 years later…
This girl should just discuss this issue with her parents - see what they think. It might work out if she’s a mature 15 year old girl and he’s a more immature 20 year old guy.
A friend of mine was 16 when she started dating her 21-year-old boyfriend. Not only that, but her boyfriend has a 5-year-old daughter. And yes, they are having sex. No, not the father and daughter.
I definitely think it’s gross. In fact, I cried when I found out that she’d been having sex with him. I think that the law is there for a good reason in this situation, therefore it should most definitely be obeyed.
That said, I feel a little weird about being 17 and having a serious crush on a guy who is 15. Is this gross? Would it be wrong if, hypothetically and hopefully, we were to start having sex? How about if this practice continues when I turn 18 and he’s 16? I suppose a lot of that is circumstantial and depends on the maturity of those involved, but I’d like to hear opinions.
A two year age difference is nothing. Most states have revised their statutory rape statutes to take age difference into account so that a person only a year or two older can’t be convicted of statutory rape. Usually the minimum age difference is 4 years, but this varies from state to state.
If you and he
A. are emotionally ready,
B. take the proper precautions to prevent pregnancy and STD’s every single time you have sex,
C. and have decided what you will do if an unexpected pregnancy does occur,
then I don’t see any problems. But make sure that you have discussed both B and C, because if you haven’t, or don’t feel comfortable doing so, then A doesn’t really apply.
On the OP: It’s probably a bad idea, but we don’t really know enough about this man to properly judge. He may be the greatest guy in the world. But it does bring to mind Mr. Ingles advice when 20-something Almonzo wanted to marry 14 year old Laura. If it’s right now, it’ll still be right in two years.
One of the girls I used to work with is 22…she was dating a 15 year old also from work. It was nasty, and pretty immoral…she couldn’t figure out why his parents counldn’t stand her. Course, right after they broke up, she was fired from McD’s for sexual harassment. She was a real winner…
Two wonderfully happily married couples, both of which recently became proud grandparents, one an uncle, the other a cousin, both dated ladies in their mid-teens when they were around 19 or 20. Both of the ladies’ (okay, girls’) parents were opposed to it. In my uncle’s case, because of the age difference, in my cousin’s case, because they hated my cousin’s father. In each case, both couples waited until the girl was 18 (or close) to marry. Parents still hated it. Chldren came along, suddenly the parents decide that BLANK and BLANK aren’t such bad guys after all. They were (and are) certainly better men than I for I would have held a grudge, but that’s neither here nor there.
In these two cases, which I know, and don’t need to be reminded, are exceptions to the rule, they did live in the same communities. I further add that in the south, in the 1970s, where being dirt-poor was still a viable lifestyle, and hardscrabble was a common term, these young people were of the average maturity I currently see in typical 25-year-olds. The case made by the OP is different, seems more like a one night stand type deal, meeting at the beach, etc. The true test of this guy’s “love” will be if he is willing to wait and go through the BS for her. I doubt he will. So, not knowing these people, I’m still going to say, on the face of it, bad idea, and bad idea in general, but never say never.
Sir Rhosis (son of a May-December romance)
Thanks, Number Six. I totally agree about needing to be able to discuss things like STDs and pregnancy before you decide to have sex. I sincerely doubt that our relationship will ever get that far because I’m a chicken and I don’t think he even knows that I like him. Ah… the joys of being an underappreciated, teenaged female!
First he shouldn’t have persued a 15 year old in the first place.
Second it is rape until she is 18.
Being the father of a thirteen year old daughter I’d kick the son of a bitch in the nuts and tell him if I ever see him again he won’t have any nuts.
Does he know that she’s only fifteen? If she’s a mature 15-yo, he may not realize she’s that young.
And, in re-reading the OP, I caught this:
What happened on the first night? Did they just meet and talk? Obviously, they exchanged phone numbers. Did something more happen?
Thought this might help:
http://www.ageofconsent.com/ageofconsent.htm
I don’t know what their sources are, but it’s what their
whole web site is about.
According to a Florida-specific section, she could do the
deed when she’s 16 with anyone under 24.
You didn’t say what state she was from.
I totally agree with you on this, give it time and if they’re still interested they should go for it. For now at the very least it should stay hands off! 
Chum - 17 and 15? Go for it, girl! When I was in high school, I dated a boy a year and a half younger than me (me 17, he 15). It did help that he was only a grade behind me - if he had been two, my parents wouldn’t have gone for it. The kicker? Eight years later, now he’s Mr. Snicks!
Honest. You’ve gotta try. Even if it’s hard. And it will be, but do it anyway.
And 20/15? Gross. Aside from what everyone’s already mentioned, how much do they have in common? I realize there’s mature 15 yo and immature 20 yo, but still. Yuck.
Snicks
“Mom, can I have sex with Don Johnson?”
“Sure, honey.Don’t be out too late.”
hee hee
i’d like to point something out. the board where this was originally posted is full of pre-teens and teenagers. these are the ones who all insisted that it was ok, and she shouldn’t even care about the age difference. i’m not sure, but i’ve always thought most of the people who post here are older, a lot of you have kids, some of them even this girl’s age. i think that’s what makes the difference. (the other two boards i posted it to are mostly 15-25, i guess they just all want to be able to date eachother?) personally, i couldn’t see dating a fifteen year old. i know some fifteen year olds, i like some of them, i’ll hang out with / have conversations with them. but i cna’t help but think of them as kids, the way i’d bet a thirty year old would think of me.
a lot of people bring up that 15 & 20 would be fine in other times and other countries. my question is, are these 15s more mature? i mean, it seems to me that a 15 year old here in the us, in this decade, they don’t have any responsibilities. i mean, at that age, my friends and i didn’t work. we hardly ever did chores. we were spoiled rotten little brats, and we didn’t even have money. and we were definitely still children.
whoever asked where she lives, she lives in florida. so it’s not legal. also, that age of consent website is not always accurate. people are always writing to tell them that this or that is wrong (with proof), and they still have the age of consent in hawaii at 14 (it’s 16 as of last month.)
also, i’m not sure about this, but someone told me that if the parents of a minor do allow their child to have sex with an adult, they can be prosecuted for child abuse. it makes sense, although i’m not sure who would press the charges. a grandparent, maybe? cps?
yes, he knows. he even expressed some concern over it. which means he knows it’s wrong.
funnily enough, she said “he was so mature, i forgot how old he was!” excuse me? he’s older than you! how does that statement even make sense?
as far as she told us, nothing happened. but saying he wanted to spend another night with her, it sounds so creepy.
everyone who asked how/where i’ve been; i’m fine. i’ve been helping to take care of my stepdaughter (3) and stepson (2). which is one of the reasons the very idea of this upsets me. if some 20 year old man ever thinks he’s taking anna out when she’s 15, he’s gonna end up getting shot.
This thread reminds me of an old Cheech and Chong routine on thier record, Los Cochinos. The skit I believe was Basketball Jones.
[sub]What is a Basketball Jones? It’s when you love basketball so much, you are like a junkie.[/sub]
Reporter- Now Coach, could you tell us a little about your record?
Coach- What the hell you want to bring up my record for! How’d the hell I know she was thoyteen? Hell, she looked fifteen.
On a serious note, as I posted before, this is not a lawful situation.