Yes, dear and faithful Dopers, Shirley Ujest got pitted, and a most bizarre pitting it was. In fact, as one might suppose when something involves Shirley, the entire thread was surreal from the get-go, and as it proceeded, it got worse.
Imagine a thread with about nine responses, five of which were posts by four different mods. FOUR DIFFERENT MODS!
Imagine a thread with a life of less than one hour that:
The OP gats banned
The thread gets disappeared
Behold the injustice! Like all proper Dopers, for years Shirley has posted away, dreaming of the day when she, too, could be one of the cool kids and finally get pitted. Then one fair night about midnight, it happens. Oh joy, oh rapture, right?
Shirley is a morning person, and her pitting was removed from the knowledge of elves and men (women too) long before Our Heroine lifted her lovely face above her pillows and brushed out her enticing curls to face another day. Another day in which she thinks she’s still unpitted, and thus this day, like those before it, contains a certain lack of fulfillment.
Now she’s been robbed of her satisfaction! Pitted and she doesn’t even know it! Pitted, with no opportunity to respond with scathing comment or even the wimpy “cite?”.
Pitted, and she’ll never know why. Deprived of her opportunity to hand the OP his/her ass on a platter, or even derive comfort from the Teeming Millions that were ready to leap to her defense.
And what of those of us that prowl the board late? The midnight ramblers? How many more, like me, had composed a multi-paged, carefully worded and well thought-out post addressing the OP, Lynn, t&d, Skip or Veb, only to click “submit” and find that the thread was locked, then but a few minutes later see that it had been moved, and yet a few minutes later, it had vanished? Won’t somebody think of us?
Sorry you missed your pitting, Shirley. Shame the way it ended up. Now when you say: “I have TOO been pitted”, there will be no way for you to prove it.
I’d pit you myself, just to cover your embarrassment, but you know, I kinda’ like you and my heart wouldn’t be in it.
Cheer up, though. I promise you it did happen once, so you know it’s at least possible that some day, some time when you least expect it, you may finally get your pitting.
PS: Anyone who wonders why this is in The Pit, it’s intended to be a complaint about the actions of the heavy-handed, jack-booted…….
OUCH! STOP IT! I won’t……