The last three or four false alarms, the fire alarm announcement system has been dying. Today, it showcased an exemplary ability to not work. First, the alarm came on. I shrugged and decided I would rather die a fiery death than hoist my lazy ass out of the computer chair. Ten minutes later, Security made an announcement. I know the “we are experiencing alarm / fire department has been notified” announcement by heart now, so I can’t quite recall which particular bits he managed to get out, but there were few; the alarm kept cutting back in over him and apparently he didn’t notice. Someone must have informed him, though, because he made the same announcement again a short while later.
Then the fire department arrived. I could tell by the sirens; they didn’t announce their presence, although they usually do. The alarm stopped for awhile. Then it came back on and a second security guard gave the “fire department is investigating the cause of the alarm” speech, half of which was obscured by the random cutting in of the alarm. It went back off after that, and then on again so that the fire department representative could make the “no emergency now exists” announcement. Then off again, after some random buzzing noises.
But all was not done! Ten minutes later, more or less, it came on again so somebody could tell us once more that we were all safe, no fire now exists, et cetera. In the exact wording that had been used ten minutes before. To the tune of the dying wheezes of the damn alarm. After that announcement, the speakers made a terrible buzzing noise (I’m talking “infested by giant killer hornets” here), belched out a few halfhearted alarm blares, and then fell silent again. Blessedly silent. This was all quite recent, and I’m holding out hope that I won’t have to hear from the alarm system again for at least another day… although if, five minutes from now, I am treated once more to the death throes of the hornet colony, I will not be remotely surprised.
In closing: Why must we be beset by false alarms? Why must the announcement system suck donkeys with such vigor? Why are these people too incompetent to come up with a better solution than repeating each announcement at ten-minute intervals?
So don’t get me wrong, I can understand your apathy after wolf has been cried so many times, but really- you didn’t even check if something was on fire?
There is a reason for the fire alarm system, ya know, stuff like fires.
Back in college, I lived in a particular coed dorm that had a rash of pulled/otherwise false fire alarms (like, say, being set off by the particulate cloud when someone activates a fire extinguisher for no good reason) which always happened some time after midnight and into the wee hours of the morning. There would be on average one every weekend, typically, and sometimes more. This being college, the definition of “weekend” would also extend to Thursday nights as well. During the two semesters I lived there, there were no legitimate fires, though the neighboring dorm had a single one, contained to one room and occurring during the day.
Therefore, one might assume that during the middle of winter, students might be less than thrilled at the prospect of putting on a bathrobe, some kind of footwear, and a coat, and piling outside in a coed crowd in subzero temps (this was Wisconsin), shivering and waiting for the fire trucks to arrive so they could inspect the place and confirm that yes, there was no fire. Instead, many students learned to listen to the initial alarm pattern where it blares out which floor the alarm was activated on (number of blasts after a particular pattern = floor number), and if it wasn’t your floor or an adjacent one, you’d stay in bed and go back to sleep. Frankly, the only reason people left on the alarm-ed floor or adjacent ones was not due to fear of fire - besides the lack of other fires, the place was made of cinderblock, and a room could be utterly gutted and leave adjacent ones merely smoky - but because the firefighters would search rooms on that floor and fine people who hadn’t left.
At my last job, I’m not sure what the fire alarm sounded like. If it was a wussy-ass dinging bell, then that means we all sat through that and worked away without care, except for wondering what that bell was.
As regards Ferret Herder - I have developed a similar system. If the announcement says the alarm is in the commercial unit - and most of ours are - I don’t worry. If it says nothing, or that the alarm is in the building proper, I decide whether I would prefer to leave or to take the small risk of fiery death. I have not yet gone through that process and come up with “leave”.
At least you don’t have a parrot. We had a fire alarm the other week and it was THE very most coolest thing the parrot has EVAR heard in his 13 years. Now he knows how to get my attention when I’m in the shower.
Sigh.
Update: The alarm system just made some more horrible beeps and buzzes. A man with an ugly voice is informing us that “testing 1 2 3… This is only a test. Testing both buildings and the commercial area…”
Now he’s shut up, it blipped once, and silence again.
The US Navy has this thing about fire. When you’re in the middle of the ocean, y’see, and the ship starts burning, bad things happen. It’s pretty much brainwashed into one’s skull (especially post-ForrestFire films) that fire is bad.
So when one hears a fire alarm at Corry Station (northern Florida) in early spring, one sprints out of bed with with visions of Corframs welded to one’s foot. The first night. The second night, one hears that the winter’s (HAH!*) settling dust was the culprit and is less tolerant. The third night? “Shut that fucker off!” But, no - it takes a good week before those in “charge” finally decide to vacuum the fucking filters.
These are, of course, the same goddamn geniuses who deem the area next to the generator fuel tanks a fine point for a mustering area for fire drills.
I have fond memories of a week-long GMT. The “fire is bad” portion consisted of 300 people sitting in bleachers for an hour waiting around for a CPO to walk out to midfield, hold up a pack of matches, and say, “See these? Don’t light them.”
*I’m from MN. Winter? Northern Florida? HAH!
** There really isn’t a second asterisk in the body of my post. I just want to point this out: Two years ago, as a Red Cross volunteer, I got to deal with a mother who lost her two children and a nephew because she didn’t think it was important to put batteries in her smoke detector. There’s a gap between “eternal vigilance” and “common sense”. Try to put the lives of you and yours more towards the latter than the former.
Re: constant vigilance - I have an excellent escape route across the roof of the swimming pool. Should there ever be a fire I have no doubt of my ability to escape provided I get out of my chair once I’ve noticed.
Especially on submarines, where you’re in the middle of the ocean, and underwater, too.
The engineer on my boat had a macabre saying, though. He used to say, “Don’t worry about the fire; the uncontrolled flooding will surely put it out.” :dubious:
You have my sympathy Pythian. Call the township, city, or borough of your residence and ask them WTF? NFPA 72 sets forth the standard for function and testing of fire alarm systems. It doesn’t sound like the one in your building meets that standard.
Roughly fifteen seconds ago someone came on the speaker and said “Please ignore all sounds and signals, as these are only a test. Speaker test, one two.” etc. etc. So I think the announcement problem is being investigated. Hopefully they’ll figure out where all the false alarms come from, as well.