Only women do these things. It’s disgusting. Stop it!
Ear really ripe fruit. Way too ripe. Throw it away for God’s sake!
Don’t steal sugar and Equal packets from the the restaurant table.
Don’t put on too much perfume. You know who you are and you still do it! Why?! Why must you infict your powerful, two fisted scent on innocents?
I wear high-heeled shoes and fancy hose
(I’m a vamp! I’m a vamp!)
Paint my face and powder up my nose
(I’m a vamp! I’m a vamp!)
Funny, I always thought I was a woman but I don’t meet any of those criteria. I don’t steal anything from restaurants, I don’t wear perfume at all and I definitely don’t ear fruit–overly ripe or not. (Just teasing you) I don’t eat overripe fruit.
Now I think I’m going to have a gender crisis… :eek:
Sorry, another woman here who does none of those things, and would like to add that not all women freak out when it comes to creepy crawlies and some of us can even read maps!
Fine astro. Then stop trying to grab the remote when I am clicking through 60 channels at once. Don’t bother me when NASCAR is on. And while you’re up (you are getting up, right?!), grab me another Guinness, sweetie.
[Disclaimer: I do not “ear” *** overripe fruit (or drink milk past the expiration date). I carry my own “Equal” tablets. I gag when anyone (male or female) is wearing too much scent: finally broke (former)Roommate of that habit. And I am female. And serious about the first paragraph.]
*** Did you mean “eat” or “wear”? I could surmise either from the aforementioned typo.what I assume is a typo.
Wearing that over ripe pineapple on your head makes you look like a little tramp. A dirty, naughty little tramp that attracts fruit flies.
Ooooo!! Sig line!
I don’t wear perfume, but my SO damn near bathes in cologne when he wears it, which just kills my sinuses.
And, it’s my opinon that, of the stupidly useless discomfort women put themselves through, most of it was invented by men.
"Look! I just invented this! It’s called ‘thong underwear!’ "
“Do you really think women will wear them? I mean, they look kinda unomfortable…”
“Who cares? Look! You can see her ass!!”
Actually, at the moment I am wearing a cockatiel on my head. For real. She is free-flighted in the house (the cat KNOWS not to get near her), and I figure I’ll let her have a couple more minutes out of the cage before she ‘detonates’ (and if my timing is off, I do need to shower anyway).
And I prefer mango to pineapples.
Odd… In my experience, the opposite is true; it seems to be predominantly the women of my acquaintance that will prefer to eat a greenish astringent banana, a dry crunchy peach or a wooden pear, whereas I know several men (of which I am the worst) who like their fruit ripe almost to the point of fermentation.
Ick. Not only do they taste horrible, but they are difficult to peel!
Yum. And no messy juice dribbles.
The splinters make great toothpicks. Pears do taste good when they are crunchy.
I will admit to eating the fortune out of a fortune cookie, when I was younger.
Guys don’t steal equal?
I do all those things. Except I steal the equal from coffee places. And I eat the fruit but I don’t finish it. The perfume thing is by accident.
:::waves:::
Guilty.
It took years of therapy, before I learned that rotten bananas should be baked in muffins.
McDonalds will press charges any day now. Look for little creamers in the fridge door.
Perfume? Not so much. I like to reserve the right to bitch out others, and I can’t do that if wearing too much myself.
I devour no over- ripe fruit! My perfume is of perfect seductive strength! I steal no Equal! I am woman.
Screech, how you doin’?
I can eat over-ripe fruit.
And wear way too much perfume.
And I will steal every single pack of
Equal from the room…
Cause I’m a woman.
W-O-M-A-N Say it again.
I don’t care for overripe fruit (ripe, yes, overripe, yuck), I’ve never stolen a sugar packet and can’t stand Equal, and I don’t wear perfume.
I have, on the other hand, taken more salt packets than I needed for immediate consumption. But that’s life on a sodium-wasting diuretic.
astro, just how inebriated were you when you started this thread?
JuanitaTech:
Oh. I’m sorry, I like earring overripe fruit. Its very sensual. 
As long as I keep it within the confines of my own abode, how would it hurt you?
I don’t steal from anywhere (my husband takes sugar, its hard to find where he works)
My perfume is light, and used very rarely & sparingly.
So there.
Still waitin’ on my Guinness, sweetie.