I wondered when this debate would start up again.
Out of curiosity, do people still think it’s rude for the host to ask you to take off your shoes if it’s a cultural thing? Others have mentioned Southeast and East Asia; my own upbringing was Korean, and we were a shoes off household. It may have had something to do with dirt, or reducing wear and tear on the carpets, but the real reason was because that’s just how we did things. As somebody else mentioned, shoes equals outside, and it just seems weird to bring the outside inside. If you had come to my house carrying a big stick you just brought in from outside, I’d think that’s weird too. Not necessarily because it’s dirty or it’s going to ruin my “expensive” carpet, but because it’s an outside object that’s being brought inside. So are allowances made for cultural differences?
How is this reasoning in any form whatsoever? Tradition, culture? Even so, there are a TON of things one could quote from historical beliefs that use just the same reasoning, and have been proven laughably wrong. I’m not implying that this debate qualifies, but “that’s just how we do things” means nothing in any form of serious discussion.
Here, in this part of Canada, we have snow for 4 or 5 months. We have rain for 2 or 3 months. We have reasonable weather for the remaining 4 to 6 months, depending upon the year. Everyone takes their shoes off because for 50% of the year you have no choice: you are wearing boots, or you are walking in mud and salt. And so it becomes habit for the remaining 50% of the year. Sometimes, in the heart of summer, you give people a get-out-of-jail-free card, especially during indoor/outdoor parties. But otherwise it’s considered very impolite to walk into someone’s house without removing your shoes.
The first thing I do when I get home is kick my shoes off - but it’s a comfort thing. Growing up, we had no shoe restrictions unless our shoes were muddy/wet. When I moved into my first apartment, I couldn’t figure out why visitors kept taking their shoes off when they arrived. Then I realized it was because of the pile of shoes next to the door that I wasn’t very diligent about putting away…
I really don’t care one way or the other but I have to say that I never think to ask anyone if I should take my shoes off when visiting. If I’m at close friends’ they automatically come off anyway and I’ve always felt rather presumptuous asking at other people’s homes because I’m taking them off for my comfort.
This is pretty much what I’ve experienced in Norway, too. On a sunny summer day when you’re just wearing light sandals and they haven’t picked up much dirt, okay, but otherwise you just take off your shoes. You just do it. It’s part of the culture.
For winter parties, some people carry their dressy shoes with them and then change from their boots to the shoes when they arrive. This is especially true of women who otherwise would be walking around on slippery nylon stockings! Those shoes are generally never used outdoors, so the dirt issue doesn’t apply; it’s like changing to slippers or house shoes.
Well, yeah, tradition and culture was what I was implying there. While I agree that there are many customs and traditions that can be thought of as “wrong” I somehow doubt shoes on/shoes off can be considered to have some sort of moral value. If you were to go to a country where the custom is shoes off, would you still keep yours on? Would you take them off but make snide comments like a previous poster said? Or would you just not go because it means that much to you?
I’m not sure that “Do what you want in your own house, but don’t force guests to comply with that” does either.
It’s like the host pointing to the bathroom for your use, only for you to piss on the kitchen floor because they really need a better reason for you not to do so. Analogies can be bad around here, but the pro-shoe crowd against the will of the host are saying exactly that, it seems.
The shoes-on or shoes-off thing is one of the social things that can really make me feel as if I’ve made a faux pas. I go by either what the host says (“Shoes off, please”) or what everyone else does. I have a friend who really prefers people visiting to have their shoes on, and others who absolutely want all shoes left at the door. As I don’t leave any shoes at the door here at home, and I really hate the idea of my shoes left outside, I sometimes compromise by putting them in a plastic bag and taking them in with me in a no-shoes environment.
Even though it’s not something I do at home (as I said, I don’t have any shoes policy whatsoever), I do pay heed to what my host wants or asks me to do about the shoes.
I take my shoes off as soon as I get home and change into slippers. Pretty much everyone in the Philippines does the same thing. It’s a cultural thing, or maybe it’s because stepping in a pile of horse **** in the street is not at all an unusual occurrence. (There are a lot of carraiges near where I live.)
We don’t ask guests to take off their shoes, but we do keep a couple of extra pairs of slippers for them to change into if they’re staying for a while. If they don’t take off their shoes, Mum sweeps the floor after they’re gone.
Well, I live in L.A. and almost never take a cab or public transit anywhere, and I still think it’s a good idea not to wear shoes in the house.
Have you seen the men’s room floors around the urinals, where I work?? (shudder))
Oh my god, we’re doing this again?
Don’t you know by now that this subject only ends in tears, recriminations, and broken friendships?
As long as nobody bumps it, it will just go away.
:glances at featherlou:
Because, as I stated previously, I was raised to be a civilized human being who wears shoes into the house, and said shoes pick up goatheads, which are deposited in the carpet and rugs, which is why we wear our shoes in the house! Call it circular reasoning all you want – I still think it’s presumptious as hell to strip down to your underwear in my house without even asking me, or to make me walk around in your house in my underwear just because you don’t want shoes on your carpet.
A couple of comments. First, shoes off in the home is pretty universal in Asia. Most countries have slippers for everyone when they do take the shoes off.
Second, Tibetan Buddhist temples are de rigeur for taking your shoes off. IIRC in China and Japan, then inner area of buddhist temples are all shoes off type places.
I grew up in shoes on, and have come to really appreciate the shoes off culture. It seems much cleaner and neater to me, and I tend to buy slip on shoes to minimize any hassle of changing shoes during the day.
IMHO it’s cleaner and neater. Wearing shoes around outside and even wiping them off on a door mat before going inside is kinda like guys not washing their hands after taking a leak. I mean, your member might be clean, and you might not have shaken anything onto your hands, and maybe there was no leakage when Mr. Johnson was tucked back in, but then again maybe not. Same shit with your shoes.
Firstly, nobody said anything about underwear. Secondly, you have one wild sense of what civilized actually means. :dubious: Read the link and come back with civilized again. And thirdly, it’s not presumptious in the slightest to ask a guest to remove their dirty thorn tacking shoes from entering into their home.
I mean seriously, do you immediately wake up and out of bed to spring for your Nikes to trek to the bathroom and cook breakfast? Do your feet see fresh air at all? :eek: On second thought, maybe keep them on! 
And there’s nothing wrong with you asking guests to keep shoes on, but I still don’t get the hostility towards those who request that you take them off. If you want shitting carpeting, by all means, no problem. Don’t expect the same from someone who wants to keep a thorn free living room.
IMO a “shoes off culture” has two built-in advantages as far as implementation goes.
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Since shoes are taken of frequently, many are of the slip on/off variety. This increases the convenience factor greatly, as compared to typical American homes. Work boots, dress shoes, tennis shoes, all have laces. Believe me, I bought a really cool pair of slip on shoes online once (Zappos.com), and finding a similar product again was not easy. Shoe selection always changes, but slip on shoes that don’t look like slippers or penny loafers, are not as easy to come by in the US as one might think.
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Foot health, and foot odor, would seem to be less of a problem in a culture that frequently takes their shoes off. Many US citizens are forced to wear their shoes all throughout the workday, and have almost zero chances for removing their shoes in public. This is a perfect breeding ground for fungi, bacteria, and other things that might make one’s feet smell disgusting.
Why would I present the benefits of a “shoes off” household, when I question the reasons for it? Simply put, there are not enough slip on/off styles of shoe available for my limited tastes, let alone a picky person’s taste in the general US shoe market.
I keep my shoes off whenever possible, many people here have expressed the same sentiment. I find that limited time inside a shoe makes for better foot health but IANAP (I am not a podiatrist). I have found that limiting the time my feet spend in shoes, has seemed to improve the state of my feet (less odor, less itch). This is not an option for all people though, some are forced to stay shod for the better part of the day. Of course they want to take their shoes off when in their own home, but what about at a friend’s house?
Maybe there’s something I haven’t thought of that explains things. Maybe a sample scenario could clear up a few things.
Bill is the head of (insert corporate branch), he works 50 hours a week at least. He makes quite a lot of money, but his time is usually spent at home with family. When his shoes come off at night, NORAD gets a possible biological weapon launch warning (hyperbole, the guys feet stink).
He gets invited to a dinner party at a friends house on the golf course. He shows up (sans wife, because he’s single), and is welcomed into the house. He sees that there is a station of sorts made for one to remove ones shoes. Not a pile of shoes, but a “we’ll gladly take your shoes” station.
What to do at this point? Surrender the shoes, and be the source of the “what stinks?” comments?
He could just leave I guess, not optimal in any sense, but an option.
He could decline to remove his shoes, and just walk in. If anyone asked him about his refusal, he could easily say “I take off my shoes for no one”.
Hehe, halfway through typing this I realized that a sophisticated party would have no rules against being shod. The most snotty, self-entitled, overly expensive carpet having people, would consider it rude if you walked around in socks or bare feet.
I guess I’m not that surprised that this has come up before. Had I known it, I would not have felt the need to revive it though.
I do have a solution that some people will hate, but will prevent others from feeling unwelcome. If you have a friend coming over who is either too dense, or too gauche to realize a “shoes off” policy by observation, do the following. Put on your shoes, (yes inside, I know it’s crazy) and wait for him (almost always a him) to arrive.
He will be wearing shoes, because people do that. Upon entering your house, he will detect no signs that he is doing something wrong, and therefore remain comfortable. Allow normal activities to occur.
After he leaves, give him the finger! How dare he defile your carpet/house like that? Anyways, remove the shoes from the resident charlatans. Proceed to vacuum. The negative part, is that the traffic that occurred that night devaulued your home by at least three dollars. Never invite that asshole to your house again! You have an imaginary resale value to deal with! Screw that guy that always helps you move!
Am I getting off topic?
Yes. I am. I sleep now.