I thought this movie was absolute trash. The plot was…not a plot, it was more of a tapestry of donkey foreskins haphazardly stitched together with catgut. You didn’t give a shit about any of the characters. The rat thing was stupid, stupid, stupid, and came out of nowhere and had fuck-all to do with the art of shooting. Absolutely detestable, ridiculous, pointless, trash. TWDuke basically said it all.
Especially horrendous was the part where the hero gets a steel rod jammed down the barrel of his pistol, pulls the trigger, and shoots the steel rod forth, impaling the bad guy. He’s supposed to be schooled in gun-handling techniques, yet he doesn’t know that you’re never ever ever supposed to fire a gun if there’s an obstruction in the barrel. In real life, the pistol would have exploded, and probably killed him. I just can’t wait for some idiot to actually try this in real life and kill himself.
The only good thing about this movie was the shot of Angelina Jolie’s naked body, from the rear, as she walked out of the hot tub. That was the only good thing about it. Hey, Hollywood - I have a great idea. Why don’t you just give me 70 million dollars, and I’ll make a movie that’s nothing but Angelina Jolie naked, rubbing oil all over her body, getting on all fours, and fingering herself until she comes. The movie can even end with her sucking my dick. It will be like Wanted, but twice as good!
Actually, the rat thing was foreshadowed almost as much as the bit about Wesley’s father, being that it was introduced somewhere around the first third of the movie by my recollection.
Also, you got that far into the movie and it was firing the rod out of his gun that took you out of the suspension of disbelief?
Argent, you’ve mentioned the steel rod thing more than once, so it obviously bugged you, but let’s remember that this is an XBox universe where none of the laws of physics are the same. People can’t really bend bullets either, or execute perfect flips of cars over other cars so the passenger can shoot dudes through the sun roof. Why not just imagine that whatever ridiculous mind power that allows them to bend bullets and fly also allows them to fire the rod out of a gun barrel?
I like your treatment for the next Jolie vehicle, by the way. I just have one teensy little note about that guy who gets sucked off by Angelina…I think I have a better idea for the casting…
I think what bothers him is that it apparently wasn’t introduced as a discreet ability. That is, the super-assassins had whatever superpowers they needed when they needed them for the plot to continue. Stuff like that basically tosses the plot out the window and makes the movie less a coherent story and more a colection of random scenes. When characters aren’t consuistent, it’s a problem. When the “rules of the world” aren’t internally consistent, the audience simply doesn’t know what to expect; there’s no basis point for the audience to accept and work from.
Another thought on the rats, what with them having nothing to do with the art of shooting: As they pointed out earlier, guns aren’t the only weapons you should rely on. They have their shortcomings. They jam, they run out of bullets, they’re not always easy to conceal, and they won’t run rampant through your enemy’s stronghold en masse so you can blow them up and cause chaos and confusion.
The right tool for the job, yaknow? If anything, I was vaguely disappointed that Wesley never ended up actually using knives for anything in the movie after they made a big deal out of them with the cook earlier.
My dad and I joked about the watch-bombs on the rats after the movie. “So he had to sit there in that room and set those watches for every single one of those rats?!”
Yechh. What a waste of time.
Angelina’s naked body+my cock+$70,000,000 = Wanted II. Catch it in theaters near you July 2009.
I loved the movie. I think the reason I didn’t hate it was that it crossed the line twice. Wanted basically just said “Why? Fuck you, that’s why.” And didn’t even bother to handwave away anything except the random adrenaline/pulse thing which actually seemed like more of a plot device than a power. It didn’t even PRETEND to be internally consistent, or obey any laws of physics, common sense, or anything really. It didn’t try to be Die Hard, a universe where even the most stable isotopes of the most common elements are hardwired to explode on a moments notice and [del]Harry Potter’s spells[/del] hacking can do anything, yet tries (for the most part) to be a serious piece of fiction. Wanted just said “screw it,” crossed the line into absurd and retarded, and then went so far that it crossed the line AGAIN and managed to turn the giant honking minus into a plus through sheer absurdity.
