In a theatre, rented, or on demand?
For me it was American Poop. The description made it sound like it had a heart. Instead it had a fart. Lots of them, actually. And poop jokes. And pee jokes. None of them were funny. It made The Hangover and Hot Tub Time Machine look like art house films.
Despite numerous great reviews, *A History of Violence *got turned off about a quarter of the way through and promptly returned to Neflix last week. Just too many things were wrong with it too early on, so I got annoyed before I got engaged. Most of those wrong things were events and dialogue that just screamed “movie script” rather “something that might conceivably happen in the real world.” Scene after scene of that.
The story was a good idea. I’ll give it that.
Can we nominate old movies, if we just recently saw them?
I recently watched Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf for the first time, during one of the Liz Taylor marathons after she died. Good God.
Many films from that era are “filmed plays”, but this one took it to an extreme. There was no action at all other than a couple scenes of drunk driving. The characters just drank and nagged, and argued and drank, and none of them were the least bit likable or interesting.
I’m sure it was very daring for 1966, but take away the dare and there wasn’t much entertainment.
Sure.
And I saw that as a stage play, the way God intended. It was excellent.
Valhalla Rising.
Utterly pointless.
Si
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Recently, I’d have to go with Battle: Los Angeles. It wasn’t THAT bad, but my movie-going these days tends to be limited, so I stick with films that have a good RT review. Except this one, because I love the genre so much. But I didn’t really enjoy it much.
Stretching the definition of “recent,” I’m still angry that I paid $9 to see Paul Blart Mall Cop in the theater, and if I ever meet anyone involved in the making of that movie, I am going to kick them directly in the shins.
I was going to make an effort to see that. I think you just changed my mind.
My wife suggested The Roommate last week.
You know that category of movies where seeing the trailer completely obviates the need to sit through the actual movie? If you’ve seen the poster – nay, even the title of The Roommate, you really don’t need to sit through the movie because there is absolutely nothing there to engage or surprise you. I managed to stay awake through it by counting sheep for stimulation.
That was the one starring Bridget Fonda and Jennifer Jason Leigh, right?
I just watched John Huston’s Wise Blood last night and thought it was the most awful thing I had seen in recent memory. It’s apparently a very well-respected movie, too, so I want to hurry to admit that my feeling of dislike may reflect more on me than on it.
But it was really bad. The music was the most infuriating thing – this ridiculously corny soundtrack that didn’t jibe with the action at all. Brief scenes of characters acting very vaguely sneaky would have this jaunty “wacky hijinks” tune play over it, which made no sense. It was so strange. Nothing made any sense. Characters did not behave like recognizable human beings with any kind of recognizable motivation. The preacher’s daughter was incredibly irritating. The ending was a let-down, to say the very least.
I was left with the same “what the hell did I just watch?” feeling that Eraserhead left me with, which I really kind of doubt was John Huston’s intention.
Why was this movie considered so great? Maybe I’ll start a thread when I get a chance.
Paul, actually, at least if we’re talking this year. It wasn’t really horrible or anything, and the geek jokes and cursing space alien are sort of funny once or twice. For 90 minutes straight, not so much.
The Sorcerer’s Apprentice with Nic Cage. A friend took me to see it. If I’d had to pay for it I would have been really pissed. As it was, I sat there and MST3K’d it the entire way through. I don’t know if it counts as an entertaining movie when you self-supply all the entertainment, but it kept me from throttling my friend!
I’d have to go with Princess of Mars, which I saw on Netflix streaming a couple weeks ago.
It’s a modern retelling of the John Carter of Mars story where Carter (Antonio Sabto Jr) gets transported to Mars via some sort of A.I. mumbo jumbo that takes its cue from Avatar. It was really chessey and essentially a pointless movie.
Since I didn’t actually pay anything to rent it other than my Netflix subscription and I was in the mood for a cheesey Sci Fi movie, I can say that it was as bad as it could have been. I would have a tought time recommending it to someone, though.
I watched The Expendables the other night. I thought it might at least have some tongue-in-cheek humor to it and some good explosions. Instead, it was pretty plodding and the big explosion scenes towards the end weren’t any payoff.
The two minutes with Arnold were probably the only amusing moments in the film.
It wished it was that one. Hell, I wished it was that one.
tdn-I suggest you boycott the local malls then, because they were “involoved” in that the movie was filmed there.
Actually I’m the one who threatened shin-kicking, so tdn can safely frequent his local malls. If I ever visit his area, though, I’m bringing steel-toed boots.
I turned off Kick-Ass about 40-minutes in, this past weekend.
It seemed to start off as a broad comedy about a kid who wanted to be a super hero - realistic in that his first fight he gets his ass kicked, not realistic in that he recovered from 200+ broken bones in 7 days (seemingly), but that’s OK because it’s a comedy.
Then Nicholas Cage and his daughter get involved. She’s foul-mouthed, he’s an idiot, and the scene that made me turn it off and put it in the red Netflix envelope was when the little girl kills 7 or so hulking male gangsters while spewing “fuck” this and “cunt” that.
I didn’t particularly care for where the movie was going to go after the above scene, so that was that.
However, I will say that the movie that first came to mind when I saw the title was Transformers 2, even though it was 2 years ago since it came out - the memory is seared so deep, it was THAT bad.
We actually had a poster here a couple of weeks ago who was arguing that Transf. 2 was a better movie than either of the first two Godfather films… I was going to write an indignant reply when I realized the guy had to be joking… right? Please? 
I have my own reasons for avoiding the malls. 
Tried to be The Bourne Identity meets No Way Out. Just too by-the-numbers. Soul-less. Something missing, maybe I haven’t quite put my finger on it. Not going to put any further effort in identifying the fatal flaws, anyway…