The most recent Unwatchable Movies

Cafe Society
1

I was watching Synecdoche New York last night. And while it recovers overall, the first part of it was reminding me of one of the worst experiences of my life: Southland Tales. Totally unwatchable. Which put me in mind of a few other recent experiences I’d, well, rather not be reminded of. So here’s my list:
Romance and Cigarettes
Slipstream
Southland Tales
The Tracey Fragments
War, Inc.

Now, obviously this overlooks such below-the-radar jewels as David Hasselhoff in Anacondas Three and* Underground Presidents*. So, sticking with major releases that have NO FUCKING EXCUSE for being UTTERLY UNWATCHABLE from the last year or so, let’s hear yours.

2

Wanted

3

I must disagree, personally. Yes, the storyline is RETARDED. But if you take that as a given, and just go along for the RETARDED ride, it’s a hoot. Have watched it several times, hooting all the while. But yes, I can’t really blame you.

4

Hmm… You keep using the word unwatchable. I do not think it means what you think it means.

But I would put Safe and Spontaneous Combustion on my list of movies that should never be watched.

5

Hmm. 1990 and 1995. Not what I was looking for.

(And *Safe *is a masterpiece, a brilliant, flawless movie. Just so’s you know.)

6

Is Revolver going too far back? I think it’s the worst movie I’ve seen this century.

7

I find most movies literally unwatchable, which is why I don’t watch them. I can sense whether or not a film is good before I watch it, yes yes, thank you, you may touch my cloak as I walk past.

8

I was tricked into watching Southland Tales by someone who knew I didn’t like Donny Darko. If I never see another Richard Kelly movie, I’ll die a happy woman. I did watch the whole thing, though, waiting for there to be a point.

The latest movies I didn’t bother finishing were Eagle Eye and Gran Torino.

9

Yes, agreed. Added to the list.

10

Haven’t seen Gran Torino yet, but I’ve heard only good things so far, so I’ll be surprised if I end up agreeing with you.

Eagle Eye, on the other hand, while I agree that if it had been been a lowbudget straight to video Bmovie it would have been unwatchable, was after all is said and done extremely entertaining . . . after you agreed to join the conspiracy of ignoring its badness.

11

Guess you’ll have to watch it and see what you think. From this thread I’m not the only doper who didn’t like it, nor even the only one who couldn’t make it all the way through the movie.

12

I watched it, but I fast forwarded. Talk about hokum. Doesn’t someone at some point fling the gun to the right to curve the bullet to the left?

13

In theaters right now:

Jonas Brothers 3D
Pink Panther 2
He’s Just Not That Into You

14

I thought that most recent Batman movie was just terrible. Batman is talking in this stupid husky voice. It picked up when the Joker was on screen, but as soon as he wasn’t it headed straight into the toilet. I turned it off at the request of everyone else in the room.

15

Yeah, me too.

16

The Bat-cycle was grossly stupid. The Joker was fun to watch, unfortunately they decided to put him in a Batman movie. He deserved better.

Actually he deserved to be shot in the face repeatedly, but you know what I mean.

I tried watching The Last Winter recently but had to give up. Bad script, terrible characters and dulllll plot.

The latest Bond was a chore to sit through. The elaborately ridiculous fight scenes and the exploding hotel at the end were terrible.

17

The cat in the hat - (2003, but I only saw it on TV a couple of months ago) terrible, horrible bad bad movie.

edit: and agreed on the dark knight. not completely unwatchable, but only because of the Joker.

18

Mr. Shayamalan’s The Happening happened to piss me right off (that is when it wasn’t putting me to sleep). Bah:mad:

19

I got so bored with the Hellboy II movie I almost fell asleep. Mike Mignola must be weeping.

Seriously, the first one was no masterpiece but it was a fun movie and entertained me. THe second one was barely watchable. Ugh.

But *Wanted *was at least entertaining nonsensical fluff. Plus James MacAvoy is adorable. I am waiting for the riff track for The Happening before I watch it, that’s the only way I’ve seen some of the more horrid recent movies.

20

I haven’t sen it yet, but by all accounts the recent film The Echelon Conspiracy is a shoo-in for my annual Bad Film Festival. Out of the seven reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, none is positive, giving it a rating of zero. Add that the Boston Phoenix pans it in no uncertain terms, and you have a true winner of a loser:

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/echelon_conspiracy/