Shopping in parties of six adults is not cool

I’m using the word “adult” here in terms of your biological age. Jesus fucking Christ, please don’t do this. You’re an entourage unto yourselves and it’s not amusing. You don’t have to shop as if you’re a pack of dogs.

In your best moment, you’re only mildly annoying and lumbering down the isles with all six of you contributing to your single shopping cart, with six opinions over every buying decision, and six people clogging the isles. At your worst, you want to fucking debate what kind of lettuce you should buy or if you should buy name brand Fruit Loops or store brand.

Kindly go fuck yourselves! Have your (literally) sophomoric debates at home and send one or two people to do the actual shopping. Six adults contributing to one real world shopping cart is not reasonable. If you must all be involved, split the shopping list in three and shop in pairs.

Assholes. I swear to god, it was like being run over by a bus, three times.

Kill four of them. Problem solved.

I’ve noticed that when almost any group of same-gender peers goes out semi-socially, be they 13 or 83 or any other age, there’s a tendency to turn into a pack of jackasses. Stores, restaurants, events - if there’s a group of 5 or 6 48you women, they will grow a case of the sophomorics.

Families with two or three friends and some extra kids clogging the aisles at Sam’s or Costco can drive me crazy, though. No matter how you try to change your shopping path, you WILL wait out a giggle-gaggle in front of something you need at least twice. Especially things like meat or produce where you can’t just reach in, grab one and go.

This is why I do all of my shopping on the mainland.

Can you comfort yourself with the thought that this kind of thing is at least as much of a PITA for the people in the group as it is for a bystander like you?

No. It doesn’t make me feel any better to think that it might be inconvenient for other people to act like jackasses.

Agree with the OP. The grocery I use remodeled, which amounted mainly to squeezing the aisles closer together to fit more in. This really compounded the herd shopping issue.

It’s close to home and right on the way from work so I learned to deal with it.

So long as they stay out of the Dollar Store and Goodwill, they can knock themselves out. I hear that Ass Whole Foods is a very friendly environment for this sort of thing. Just sayin’, is all.

In the place where I shop, two or three of them are also on their phones consulting with others who cannot attend the shopping party in person.

Nitpick: It’s aisles not isles.

No man is an isle. OK, I’m Donne here.

True story: one day, when I was supervising the self-checkout registers, a group of no less than eleven people went to a register, where a roughly twelve-year-old girl scanned a pack of maxi pads. That was the only thing they bought.

Creepy family tradition?

Me too, for values of “on the mainland” equal to “in other time zones”.

Reminds of an SnL(?) sketch where a kid was making his awkward teenage moves on a girl on the couch, when his father barges in with a camcorder trying to get the precious moment of his boy losing his virginity on tape.

You win the thread.

I agree, though I find it amazing how even just one person in Sam’s or Costco can wander up and down the aisles and the most glacial fucking pace ever, blissfully taking up an entire aisle, which is fairly impressive given how damn large their aisles are. I think the most aggravating thing about the kids is trying not to hit the moving target (which is frequently running toward you at warp speed). At least they’re fairly small. I often envy their ability to dart in between carts.

:frowning: Sorry. We’ll stay out of your store next time.

But, ummm, you’re gonna have to come with us to buy the prize, okay? Five of us can make it tomorrow afternoon after the game, but the rest of us would rather go Monday night. And the Jakester is so picky, but he promises he’ll have his phone on if he can’t make it.

Good username. I love that movie.


Or … gather all the cashiers for several rounds of frozen turkey bowling.

(…you’ll have to bowl quickly to pick up the spare though)

I will take that, creep factor and all, over the family groups that have to make two or four or six separate purchases of three items each.

Wise Advice To All: Never, ever, ever get behind an adult woman (30+, usually) and her elderly mother. They will BOTH take forever to make separate purchases. The mother will be the kind who is perpetually surprised she has to pay and doesn’t even start fumbling for her checkbook until the total is announced. They will have 2X as many coupons as they do items, which will have to be sorted out and argued over. They will argue over who was going to pay for the six-pack of Comet. And they will both treat the time as the social highlight of their day, which, sadly, it may be.