I go inside with my husband, especially if he’s shopping for clothes. I know EXACTLY what he looks best in, better than he does. And it’s not as boring as waiting in the car.
This dad ain’t goin’ to the mall.
Haven’t you seen those couples? She’s in Hunter/Gatherer Mode. He’s tagging along, looking bored and hen-pecked. He’s saying… well, Absolutely Nothing. While she’s critiquing everything, including him: “Oh, do keep up, Basil. And stand up straight. People will think you don’t want to be following me around like a whipped puppy. Now stare at these dried flowers and give me half an opinion until I cut you off…”
(Yes, I’ve SEEN these miserable people…)
WHY would I want to use a minute of precious Weekend Time like that? It would be a WASTE.
The wife’ll go to one store, I’ll go to another across town. We can text if we need advice. Just today, Wife was at Pottery Barn, sent me a pic of a gorgeous rug with the caption “It’s On Sale!” I asked price, then texted “Go for it!” (Later, she asked if I was SURE I liked it, and I replied “So when I’m watching TV, there’s going to be some color and texture on the floor? Where I won’t be looking? Don’t really care, sorry, your call…”)
It varies, mostly depending on how long she’s planning to be inside. My options in no particular order.
Power nap.
Kindle app.
Quick trip to a different store I need to visit.
Quick trip to nearby coffee shop to surprise her when she comes out.
Any combination of the above.
It struck me the same way. I am sure it wasn’t intentional, but it did seem to imply that there was No Good Reason anyone who had a sincere relationship with their partner wouldn’t want to go shopping with them, which I disagree with.
I would rather be pulled over broken glass than go in a store with my husband. He likes to poke through clearance bins. He finds something on sale–say a type of meat–and wants to then go back several rows to find the stuff he now needs that he didn’t need before. All this drives me INSANE. I get so bored. I get tired. I am just plodding along because I don’t have any opinions about any of these things.
But he’s having a blast. Except he loves me, so he can tell if I am bored and unhappy, so it makes him feel rushed and sucks out his joy. So I stay in the car and grade papers or read, and he (and usually our son) shop, and everyone is happy. And because I have done my grading or gotten my “quiet time reading” fix, it clears up more time for us to spend together later.
So yeah, there are lots of answers to the question 'Why wouldn’t I want to spend time with my best friend?" that aren’t “because I have a sham relationship and I don’t really love them”. I don’t think that’s what Alessan meant to imply, but I felt the sting of it as well.
I don’t think you know the real meaning of the word. Friendship is not codependency. Taking pleasure in the conversation and company of another human being is not codependency.
Which has absolutely zero relation to what I said. I *can *do without my wife, we do plenty of things apart. I just think her company is more fun than sitting in a car by myself, in the situation described in the OP.
Did I say word one about anyone else? That’s a conversation that happened entirely in your head. Waiting in the car is perfectly fine for those who prefer to do that. Plenty of people who wouldn’t want to go shopping with their platonic best friends, too, I’m sure.
Ya think?
That’s a nice gesture, but instead…
…I’d rather you just think about how this went down, and next time start with this.
Yeah, I’d go inside with MrsDibble, she sounds like fun.
Wait, what?
It depends on the circumstances. Shopping mall? Stay in the car, even if it’s for a couple of hours. Grocery store or produce store? Then I help out, because I’m much faster and efficient.
The equation has changed a bit since the arrival of our daughter, usually towards my favor. I can say, “We’ll wait here; it’s easier than taking out the baby.”
I remain confused. Why are you and the baby in the car at all if your spouse plans to spend a couple of hours at the mall? Why didn’t your spouse just go to the mall alone, leaving you and the baby comfortably at home?
When my kids were babies it was because their mom had their food (she nursed and never pumped).
Eh. My Wife and I don’t shop together. We really don’t ‘shop’ period. Know what you want and go get it.
Now if we are on vacation just wandering around will visit art gallery’s and what ever turns our fancy together, 'cause we are just wandering around.
There was a recent exception. I needed a new suit. Wanted light grey. Store is 100 miles away. My Wife did come (I did want her opinion), but in a separate car as I was going to spend the night in that town, and my Wife was going home that day. New suit, tailor marks made, in and out in 30 minutes (didn’t need shoes or shirt or tie or anything).
Another exception would be buying furniture or similar. But that doesn’t happen very often.
Heck, we didn’t even go with each other when we buy new cars. Know what you want, talk to spouse for opinions, go get it. Easy Peasy. That’s been the case for my Wife’s last two cars and my most recent one.
But that’s how we ‘shop’. If she needs me or I need her, we come along. But otherwise, we go alone.
Grocery shopping is the same way. We split that up for the most part. Make a list, one of us gets it. It’s not a two person job.
Depends on the mall; if she wants to go to the good mall, she doesn’t want to drive there herself. She’s willing to drive herself to one of the crappy malls, but because they’re crappy malls, she usually doesn’t want to go to one of them.
Go inside with. We like being together.
It depends on who’s going where for what. Sometimes my wife or I will wait in the car while the other one dashes in. If they’re going to be a log time, we’ll usually go in together.
If my wife elects to stay in the car while I go in, I usually tell her not to bark at passers-by while I’m in the store.