Uh-oh. One demerit for the FatKid — bitch-slapping a mod.
(Note: You can remove your demerit by opening a Pit thread slamming Marley23, since he posted as a poster and not as a mod.)
Sorry. Didn’t mean it to be taken that way. I’m bad to forget that typing leaves out inflection. Should have phrased it less tersely.
My apologies.
Just kidding, FatKid. It’s just my wit — dry as a musky Merlot.
ETA: Welcome, by the way, to Straight Dope.
Thanks, glad to be here.
Btw, I’m not a wine drinker. How about “Dry as a popcorn fart”? 
That’ll do, I suppose. The metaphor seems strange, evoking the farts of bacteria that cause the plastic on Wal-Mart’s gound beef to balloon out like a Macy’s Day float. Or just plain 42.
Beg pardon?
- It’s the answer to life, the universe, and everything. (Semi-obscure literary reference.)
Semi-obscure? On this board? Pull the other one, it’s got bells on!
Just so long as it doesn’t squirt.
Well yeah, I knew that. Didn’t follow your syntax there. Still don’t, I’m afraid.
Anyway, I’m still pondering. Quite honestly, it’s the mechanics of the site that are spooking me. It’s often very slow when I can get on, and sometimes even times out.
You’ve asked about the benefits - aren’t you wondering about the risks also?
It’s just punishment for your sins. Now go and sin no more.
It does it to all of us. Consider it a rite of passage.
Welcome to the SDMB, Fatkid, and a friendly word of advice: if you see a group of Dopers headed your way with a goat, a 1920s style death ray and lemon meringue pies…
Be afraid.
Be very afraid.
Hi, Opal!
slips on a pair of latex gloves, and begins laying out the instruments
Welcome to the SDMB, FatKid!
Now just relax…
Regards,
Shodan
There’s a lot of in-jokes in the SDMB crowd. If you see one coming, run. If you don’t, we’ll dispose of your body afterwards.
Also, there’s no reason to fear the mods.
There is, however, reason to bribe them.
I take Pounds Sterling, NOK, Euros and all major credit cards.
Did you seriously just suggest to a n00b that he could earn positive board karma by pitting a mod?
That’s mean, Liberal. 
All I got to say is, anyone who would believe that could use the lesson anyway.
Btw, what’s with the lame-ass smileys?
(What? Like Webmasters got any say-so.)
Do tell!
And while I’m in the mood, what’s with the glacial lag time between posts?
Does this board get spammed a lot?
Ok, sorry, I don’t want to act like some district manager, just drop in and criticize, but since I’m asking…
In all seriousness, it really does seem like a cool community here, but at least on my machine it’s very slow and the wait time seems unusually long. So have y’all had problems with spam here? Just curious.
Still lurking. Still liking.
You forget I’m from the South.