Oh, and sorry I’m not from the N side and don’t have any specific recommendations, but I would recommend suggesting going to an art or similar exhibit, with coffee after. Should be something at Northwestern, or at the smaller colleges or private galleries. That way you have something built in to talk about, but aren’t required to talk only about that, you are not just sitting there mute like at a movie/play/concert/lecture, the suggestion is not obviously carnal in intent (tho can go that way), the choice shouldn’t offend her or make her assume negative things about you as might happen if your firsat choice were to go out drinking, and you can always be flexible with the “coffee after.”
New City comes out today, and the Reader tomorrow. They should give you ideas.
Now think how pathetic you must be if you’re getting dating advice from a 40 yr old married guy with 3 kids!
Ask her to meet you for coffee some evening at one of those coffee shops that are everywhere these days. That way, if things don’t work out or you don’t hit if off, she has her own car and can leave your company at any time she feels the need. Very non-threatening!
This is how my SO and I met in person for the first time and it’s been wonderful every since!!
I’d offer to hold your hand when you ask her but it’s a pretty long stretch from Cleveland to Chicago!! I’m sure you’ll do fine!! {{{Mike}}}
Alright. He knows her age. Wher she lives. Can anyone say s-t-a-l-k-e-r?
Just trying to boost your confidence, boyo!
Oh yeah - maggie, why don’t you copy my wife with that comment about me being a great date. I’m sure she’d love to hear that! (still smilie impaired and gonna do suptin bout it one of these years.)
First of all, what did the two of you talk about at the coffee house for an hour? Did you talk about your kids and school or did you talk about your respective interests and lives? If all you did was talk about school then I would say pass and disregard the rest of my post.
However, I’m assuming you wouldn’t be considering asking her out if all you did was talk about school so here’s my read:
This I find interesting, I don’t think she was really offering to babysit. I’d guess that by implying she had weekends free to babysit, she was subtly telling you she doesn’t have any other “plans.” I would even venture to say that she may be offended if you actually take her up on the babysitting.
Either that or she’s just underpaid like all teachers.
Really, she probably likes the idea that you’re not a commitmentphobe (because you’ve been married before) and that you’re obviously active in your kid’s lives. That’s very attractive to a woman.
Bricka, bracka, firecracker
shish, boom, bah!
Date her! Date Her!
Rah! Rah! Rah!
There…how’s that for a pep talk? If she agrees to go out, take it slow. This way you’re protecting your kid if it’s not going to work out…you can go back to being friends without it getting ugly.
That being said…think positive…it sounds like you guys have a vibe going, so why not enjoy a little company? No risk, no reward…take a deep breath and GO GET THAT NUMBER!
Bawk bawkbawkbawk baKAWWW!!!
Yeah, I chickened out. Well actually it was particularly busy with lots of parents around and therefore not conducive to the Talk.
[sub]…uhh yeah, that’s it[/sub]
I’ll try again tomorrow evening.
Her co-worker Mike said she’s not seeing anyone, made a comment about a “cute” guy that she has gone out with on occasion and wouldn’t say anything other than “no guts, no glory”
He does share my opinion that she is a great person, funny, smart, cute, etc. Good thing he’s happily married with kids in the next class or I’d have to do a Vince Foster on him
By all means you should go for it, buddy - life is far too short to spend it alone! It’s obvious that you want to, and from your description it sounds like she wants to, too - but you should try to imagine the situation from her perspective. I’m a single teacher myself (male, straight) so maybe I can provide a little bit of insight.
This is undeniably true, although it seems that she does not subscribe to this personally. Even if she doesn’t, she undoubtedly works with people who do, and wants to avoid the workroom gossip. Keep this in mind when you plan your attack.
Second, consider the calendar. Unless your kids’ school has a year-round school year (shudder) you will have the parent/teacher dynamic around for about six months now - after which it will be absent, and you will be free to behave like any other adults. In my experience, there are basically two types of eligible women: those with which it is best to take a short-term approach, and those with which you should take a longer approach. Most of my female colleauges are definitely in the latter category (with a few anecdotal exceptions). If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, you might want to start slowly. Unless she’s a “fast girl”, there is no such thing as taking too much time with a woman. She’ll let you know if you need to pick up the pace.
Finally, as to the venue, I suggest a comedy club. Most teachers I know have a highly developed sense of humor, which they are forced to restrain in the classroom. Imagine a first date where she is virtually guaranteed to be laughing and smiling! The two drink minimum may relax her, and you may learn valuable data on what makes her laugh - and what doesn’t. Believe me, this tactic has served me well in the past!
Anyway, good luck - we need a lot more lovin’ in this world, individually and collectively.
No. Don’t call her at home. Let her give you her home number if she wants to. (Whaddya say, gals? Am I off base?) But call her at school. Especially if you are just gonna, say, ask her out for coffee. Casual and nonthreatening, gets your foot in the door. And you can’t chicken out with excuses about “other parents being around.”
Yeah…I’m a guy…but I agree with Dinsdale. Don’t call her by getting her number from the white pages, she could find it slightly stalker-ish.
In fact, instead of asking her for her number, take that opportunity to go ahead and ask her out. It’s easier to get your nerve up once. If you ask for her number, you’ll have to get it up twice…the second time will be to actually use that number to call her and ask her out.
Just go in with a plan (date, location, etc.) which you’re well on the way to developing, lay it on the line, and go have some fun!!!
And know that we’re all here behind you…because we love sordid details!
MikeG, I was only 7 at the time. I looked up to my teachers & enjoyed the attention I got from them. I wouldn’t want to share that attention with one of my folks or think that my grade might be influenced by their dating.
If it’s your FOUR-year-old’s teacher, am I correct in assuming he’s in preschool? I’m not sure why, but I feel like the whole parent/teacher relationship doesn’t have to be quite so formal with a preschool (or maybe even kindergarten) teacher. I’m on the board of a preschool, and I know we don’t have any policies against the teachers dating parents.
Just ask. As casually as you can - maybe say, “I’ve got tickets to (whatever) this weekend and would you like to come?” or “say, would you like to have (lunch, coffee) with me next week?” The worst thing she can do is say no, and if she does, it’s not like she’s going to hate your child from then on. What do you think she would do, anyway? Not let him be line leader for the rest of the year because his dad asked her out?
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Even if she did say no, I’d bet she’d be flattered you asked. Besides, if you’re as nice in person as you sound in your posts here, she’ll probably say yes.
Yeah preschool and kindergarten is pretty informal. I’ve become good friends with their old teachers at their last school and go out with them on a semi regular basis.
(trying to keep up with musicians in their early who don’t have to get up in the morning is a bad thing:))
I’m sure you’ll do fine!! {{{Mike}}}
