Here’s the deal: I’m really tired of being alone. I have been separated from my ex for about two years now and it’s getting old. Both my kids have started new school this year and my 4yr old has this cute teacher who is 27 (I’m 30).
I’ve gotten a vibe from her (I think) that she may be interested in me. I went with the kids to her co-teacher’s band in a coffehouse and we talked for a good hour straight. When I pick up the kids she seems to make a point of saying hi and making a little more conversation than to other parents.
Part of me (guess which part:D) says “Go for it!!! Ask her out you fool”! She’s totally hot!
The other part says "You can’t. She’s Andrew’s teacher, it wouldn’t be appropriate. She talks to Anne (my ex) just as much probably. If it went south, it would be terribly awkward. You haven’t been on a date since 1992, what do you think you’re doing!!! She has to have a boyfriend anyways…etc.
(then the other part goes off on a low self esteem bit that I won’t regale you with)
{that other part talks a lot huh?}
What should I do? Should I just be content to have good relationships with the teachers and leave it at that? Or should I take the leap? I’m this close to going ahead and doing it but i’m just apprehensive.
So there you go. Encouragement, ridicule, whatever; I value your opinions way more than the voices in my head;)
My first impulse was to say wait until the end of the school year, but re-reading the post I see you’re talking about your 4-year old. That means she’s a pre-school teacher, so if it blows up, she can’t trash your kid’s permanent records.
Don’t take it personally if she turns you down. Some teachers have their own little code of ethics that says “don’t date a parent.”
I’m a (single, male) teacher. Some of my pupils have highly attractive divorced mothers.
After that promising start, I have no interesting story to offer. (Sorry!).
I guess there are pros and cons.
Teachers are usually good with kids. We’re pretty reliable, with steady prospects. We can usually tell something about the family from the kid’s behaviour, so it’s not a blind date.
However, if there is a later awkwardness between parent and teacher, the kid will almost certainly pick up on it.
In general, I’d go for it, but very slowly.
Good luck!
You need to find a woman to keep your sanity. She sounds great! Go for it!
Asking her out should present no problems – she either accepts or declines. If she accepts, and you both enjoy the company, then it’s time to have a talk about cause and affect. For now, just ask her out! It’s not like you’re talking about ravishing her on her desk.
Go for it. At worst, she says, “No, I don’t date my students’ parents.” Hell, that’s not even a real rejection - it would simply demonstrate her priciples.
At best, you do end up getting to ravish her on her desk.
(thinking now about how wonderfully accomodating a preschool classroom can be…couches…little bunkbed area to swing from…)
…and what is it about that phrase
That makes me need to either take a cold shower or go snuggle up in my flannel comforter:D
I still have to get up the courage, it’s been a long time and I’ve had two really bad rejections in the last 18 months
::going to look for alternate schools if KimKatt’s prediction comes true::
NO WAY! Don’t do it! I’m a parent of 2 kids and I have been a step parent and I can’t imagine anything worse for the kid if the relationship doesn’t work out. I think you are asking for problems. IMO she is simply off limits until your kid is no longer in the classroom with her.
When does your kid leave her classroom? I think you should respect the fact that your kid has a pupil teacher relationship with this woman and not crash the boundaries of that relationship. If you did begin a relationship with her and it did not work out, and your kid continues to have her as his teacher, well I am predicting that there would be negative consequences. I would unhesitatingly approach her once the kid is in the next year.
Thanks, Primaflora
This is a VERY big concern of mine. In fact it is the only thing that has kept me from initiating contact sooner. My kids are my number one priority in life right now and I will do nothing that could possibly jeopardize them.
I’m considering asking Mike, the other teacher for any info but rest assured it will be well thought out.
(unless she accosts me in a local bar!- we live fairly close to one another)
Update:
I’m fairly sure I’m going to ask her out this weekend and try to get her number tonight.
I’m sweating bullets here:)
This is the first time I have asked someone out (cold) since 1991:eek:
I just don’t know how to phrase it. I’m thinking of just going for coffee/drinks or perhaps dinner at a local laid back sorta place where we can talk.
So what are your reccomendations for a first date?
Low price, easy to talk, indoors, and comfortable are my criteria in no particular order.
For the Chicago Dopers, the target area is Rogers Park/ Evanston
I say go for it, get some compromising photos, and with the proper marketing strategy, you can finance junior’s education through grad school!
And, be sure to post date time/place so any nosy ChiDopers can rubberneck.
Seriously, a woman whose looks, intelligence, and personality you are attracted to, the situation is such that you will have natural opportunities to speak with her and ask her out, and you share built in mutual conversation topics. Hmm. Let me think. … YOU EITHER ASK HER OUT RIGHT NOW, OR BUY A HAIR SHIRT AND JOIN THE FRIGGIN MONASTERY! Ain’t gonna get many better opportunities than this. And the worse that can happen is she turns you down. Your kiddo already has divorced parents. He ain’t gonna be permanently scarred at age 4 by his dad’s dating (assuming you 2 ain’t gonna be doing the dirty swinging from the chandeliers in the living room while he’s still awake.)
