Should I drop the charges?

In My Humble Opinion
1

So on New Year’s Eve the Bride, Sprout and I were out for an afternoon’s adventure in the car. We were waiting at a red light when, all of a sudden, ‘WHAM… Wham’. :eek: Mrs. X had rear-ended us while looking for the brake pedal, then found the gas instead and rear-ended us again. I gave my family a once-over, then got out of the car to check on our assailants. We were in the left lane of a two-lanes-each-way road, and the right lane was half parking, half right-turn lane. Mrs. X and her husband in the passenger seat seemed to be okay, so I asked them to move over into the right lane so we could get out of the way and sort out what to do. Mrs. X proceeded to reverse toward the curb until her car was perpendicular to the flow of traffic, then contiuned up onto the curb, across the sidewalk where two mothers and a gaggle of children were watching, and onto a lawn where she knocked over a flagpole. Then she poked her
head out the window and asked me, “Am I touching the curb?”
“Yes, M’am. You’re on the sidewalk.” (no rolleyes at all)
“I can’t get the car into drive.”
“Have you got your foot on the brake?”
<revving sounds>
“It won’t go into drive.”
“You need to put your foot on the brake, M’am.”
“It is on the brake.”
This went on for some time. Finally, she turned off the engine, restarted it, and rolled off the curb. Unfortunately, she kept on rolling through the intersection and about 1/4 mile down the road (leaving our fair city and entering the state of Maryland). I watched her stop there for a couple of minutes with her flashers on, and then she left. Luckily, I had her license plate number.

About twenty minutes later a police officer arrived to take a report, and gave me Mrs. X’s name and address from the tag number. After checking that Bride and Sprout were mostly intact, he proceeded to fill out a form for the hit-and-run. That evening, I called Casa X and left a message, and Mrs. X called me back the next morning. She was very defensive and evasive, wanting to know how I’d gotten her name and being very reluctant
to give me her insurance information. She let me know that the accident had ruined her enjoyment of the dinner she’d attended that night, and made no enquiries into the well-being of myself or my family. No apology offered. She didn’t exactly get on my good side, but the doctors had given Bride and Sprout the thumbs-up, and damage to the car looks to be minor, so I figured I’d call up the insurance company, get the ball rolling, and then call the police to drop charges on the hit-and-run.

Later that evening, the insurance company called us back saying that Mrs. X told them she gave us her name and insurance information at the scene of the accident. We insisted that she hadn’t, and gave the insurance investigator the names of a couple of witnesses at the scene.

Then, today, Mrs. X called the house. Apparently the police officer had just been there, and she wanted me to tell him she had finally given us the insurance information over the phone. (I hadn’t been able to reach him the day before, so he’d gone on with the investigation.) He’d already left the house, but I informed Mrs. X that, unless she started coming clean with the insurance company I was hesitant to drop the charges against her. At that point, she started a rant something along the lines of ‘Well, when the government changes the laws they really
need to inform everyone. I can’t be responsible for knowing all these new laws.’ :rolleyes: Still no acceptance of responsiblity, or concern for our well-being, or apology.

So that’s where I’m at. On the one hand, not much harm done. Mrs. X’s insurance company is going to repair my car and pay for checkups for Bride and Sprout, and all I’m out is a couple of hours and a bad taste in my mouth.

On the other hand, Mrs. X has shown herself to be A) in no way compentent to drive B) in now way willing to take responsibility for her actions. I must say that I don’t relish the idea of turning her loose on my fellow citizens. Could be someone walking across the street next time. So, should I drop the charges and get on with more important things, or follow up in the interest of public safety?

2

I really don’t think you should drop the charges. This is what the laws are for. You’re lucky she didn’t hurt you or your family this time – the next family she hits may not be so lucky. Letting her get away with this would be an injustice.

3

Ditto. Don’t drop the charges. She hasn’t really given you any reason to believe she has learned from the experience (or is even capable of learning from the experience). Plus no expression of concern for you or your family.

4

do not drop the charges. she needs to have the law drop on her. from your description she sounds as if she were driving while impaired.

in some states the law regarding leaving the scene of an accident is less strict than the law regarding dui. she may have left the scene to avoid being tested.

5

Mrs. X sounds like she was either drunk or more permanently incapacitated. Don’t let the indifference get to you - keep it a matter of fact as you’ve told this story, but definitely don’t let her get away with this! She needs to spend some time in court in the hope that the judge sees his or her way clear to yanking her license.

6

I agree, do not drop the charges.
I know it is more trouble for you, but it may help prevent her from hurting someone else. For all you know this might have happened before. Voicing your experience will alert the Police and insurance company and maybe they will take both away from her.

Glad your family is ok.

7

Thanks for the replies. I guess I ought to mention that Mrs. X is elderly. So, on the one hand, I’d hate to be the one to deprive her of her mobility, but, on the other hand, she really isn’t sharp enough (IMHO) to be behind the wheel anymore.

8

It’s possible that her family (adult children) is really wrestling with how to get her to stop driving before she causes a fatality. They may see it as quite a blessing if this non-fatality achieves that goal.

9

I had a parent who would not stop driving when the time had come. Fortunatly, he was stopped by an officer and was not involved in an accident. The court dropped the charges in return for his disposing of his car.

Please do not drop the charges. In fact I would suggest that you call the officer and ask if your state has older driver programs, where this driver will need to be interviewed, and demostrate her skills inorder to keep her license.
Don’t forget the next time she mixes up the pedals, it might be a crosswalk full of little kids in front of her.

10

irae,

As other have said do not drop the charges.

On a personal note my Grandmother kept driving even though she was a danger to others. She was in one accident where she was at fault. What happened was simple. She was at a red light. The light turned green and my Grandma hit the gas and ran into a car that was still in the intersection. (The car she hit was making a left turn and had not cleared the intersection yet. The cops said that my Grandma was at fault. I mean she just ran into the other car just because the light turned green and that meant ‘GO’) Thankfully no one was hurt.

It took me and my parents a long time to get her to stop driving. My Grandma was pretty upset but she was just not capable of driving any longer. She was 86 at the time.

It sounds as though the woman who hit you needs to be taken off the road.

It’s really not an age issue but a control issue. If the woman cannot control her car then she shouldn’t be driving.

If I were you I wouldn’t worry about her mobility. I’d worry about her hurting someone else.

If she is unable to control her car pressing charges may get her off the road. At the same time she sounds like a bitch and deserves whatever she gets.

I’m glad you and your family are ok.

Slee

11

I agree, don’t drop the charges.

12

Don’t drop the charges. This woman has a big problem with accepting responsibility for the results of her incompetent actions. She screwed up several times in her single experience with you; the next time may get someone killed. I may be her, it may be her husband, or both, or one or more innocent bystanders. Let the pros make the judgement about whether she should be driving. And who knows how many times she might have been let off the hook before?

13

Nope. Don’t drop them.

14

Perhaps it depends on the particular state’s laws, but can someone explain to me why irae is in a position where he can drop the charges? Since Mrs. X left the scene of the accident, why isn’t the state the one filing criminal charges and only calling on irae as a witness?

15

That being said, I wouldn’t drop the charges

16

Another “don’t drop the charges” vote.

17

It occurs to me that some of Mrs. X’s wacky behavior and comments are reminiscent of things my dad does and says. He has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. She may be more confused than uncaring.

If she does have Alzheimer’s, probably all the more reason she shouldn’t be driving.

18

Beats me, but that’s the way the District’s Finest explained it to me while filling out the report.

I guess it’s unanimous, but I’m still going to feel a bit of an ogre.

19

Would you feel less like an ogre if your child had been injured or killed?

Is the next guy going to be as lucky as you?

I’m all for “reasonable.” There aren’t enough “nice guys.” Doesn’t mean that when one meets a chap like that, one should ride roughshod over him.

By the same token, I have to agree with what I’ve read in this thread. Anyone who rams MY car, and then gets in a snit because I ruined her lovely dinner and evening out… well… this is not a person who has learned anything from the experience…

20

Well, you could be an ogre that’s saving lives. I know . . . I would probably feel bad, too. Still, I’m in agreement with everybody else here. This Mrs. X you ran into really doesn’t need to be operating a motor vehicle.