Yesterday, I should have had a positive value in the Cosmic Karma Bank. I took the day off to do a good deed (taking my sister to the hospital for her MRI on her separated shoulder. She needed to be sedated due to claustrophobia, hence the need for me to take her to and from the hospital). So good stuff should have been happening, right? I should have been showered with the phone numbers of nubile virgins and pelted with dollar bills thrown by an adoring populace while fending off the offers of made-for-TV movies made about my life, right?
Okay, maybe not. But it should otherwise have been a good day, shouldn’t it?
We’re finally leaving the hospital after it takes forever to get in for the MRI. My sister, being hypoglycemic, is getting dizzy and groggy from low blood sugar and all I want to do is get some food in her. She suggests that we head to Chinatown to get some dim sum – her treat. Great idea! Chinatown’s not far from the hospital, let’s go! I point my car in the direction of Cermak and Wentworth and we’re off.
We end up driving around Chinatown looking for a place that sells bubble tea (which is some of the oddest and neatest stuff I’ve ever drank, BTW). She’s looking for a specific place and asks me to take a left onto Archer so she can look around. I say sure, hang on. We’re at a T-intersection; I’m at a stop sign, turning left onto Archer (which has no stop signs for oncoming traffic). It’s kind of an awkward intersection and I’ll be turning left at a pretty acute angle. I stop at the sign, look left and don’t see anyone past the parked cars. I look right – nothing. I start edging forward, look left and I see a little white Camry screaming at me in the right lane going WAY over the speed limit. I had just enough time to say, “Oh shit, this is gonna suck,” before WHAMBO. The Camry hits my car on the left front fender/bumper area and there’s the most sickening CRUNCH I’ve ever heard. As soon as both cars stop moving, I make sure my sis is okay (we’re both fine, no injuries) and I get out to make sure the other driver’s okay. It’s a young kid, about 19. He’s okay, a little shaken, but okay. I suggest that we get our cars out of the right of way and call the cops to make a report. He looks a little leery at calling the cops but he moves his car over to the side, as do I. His car has a little damage to the right fender but my car looks terrible. Front bumper sheared off. Hood popped up and hanging on by one hinge. Left front fender mashed.
Thankfully, a cop showed up even before I made the call (he must have been passing by). He began taking information from us and when he asks the other driver for his license and insurance info, the kid says, “I don’t have my license with me.” When the cop asks for insurance, his reply is, “I don’t have any insurance.”
My instant ire at this reply was assuaged by the cop stating, “Well, then I guess you’re just going to jail, aren’t you?” At least the kid’s going to get what comes to him – the cop puts the nice little matching linked steel bracelets on him and puts him in the back of the squad. Accident report gets filled out, no tickets issued to Yours Truly, cop leaves with lawbreaking cargo in tow.
Don’t get me wrong – I couldn’t be more grateful that nobody got hurt. (It could have been really bad – if I’d edged up much further, he would have T-boned me in my driver’s side door.) And at the end of the day, a car is just a thing. It’s replaceable. But at the same time, godDAMNIT! How the fuck irresponsible can you be, you little fucknugget piece of fuck? Let me count the ways:
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You’re driving without a license or insurance. So if you hit someone, how does that person get recompensed? Oh, that’s right, they don’t. So when you’re driving without insurance, it’s like a big ‘fuck you’ to everyone else around you. In my case, I have uninsured motorist insurance, so at least my insurance will cover my costs less deductible. But what if you’d hit a pedestrian crossing the street? What if you’d hit someone who didn’t have uninsured motorist coverage? You could have cost someone assloads of money for medical care that they’d have no way of getting back! (Not to mention the possible physical injuries and pain and suffering.)
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You’re driving like a total whistling assplug! When I first checked left, I saw nobody even close to my car. Looked right, looked left and WHAM. And when I saw you, there’s no way on God’s green earth you were doing 30 mph (the posted speed limit on that road). That looked like at least 50 to me. You even admitted to me that you were going too fast because you were in a hurry to get to work. (Guess you didn’t make it there then, huh?)
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And goddamnit, I’d just paid off that car two months ago! I was looking forward to having a year or two with no car payments to help save up some dough – and now that’s shot. If my car’s totaled, now I’ll have to buy something else and I’ll most likely be looking at more car payments. You stupid son of a bitch.
Thankfully, my insurance is covering my costs, so aside from the deductible (and likely future car payments on a new ride), it will basically be a wash. I apologize for the lack of a quotable truly Pitworthy rant, comparing his ancestors to cave-dwelling bugeaters and speculating on the sexual habits of his mother and grandmother, but right now I’m still just too upset to really formulate a good vitriolic passage. I’m just still pissed that someone could have been so irresponsible, both in his driving habits and his lack of insurance, and that irresponsibility could have cost my sister and I dearly.
