Should I eat this bread?

In My Humble Opinion
1

OK, I know it all sounds a bit silly, but let me explain. First of all: Yes, I should have picked up a basket right away when I entered the supermarket. However, I was only going to pick up a loaf of bread. The decision to also get some salmon, a can of grape juice, chocolate, some rice, some vegetables, some nice cheese and some other stuff was only made later, when I found myself in close proximity to those items. In any case, I’m waiting in the checkout line, clutching all this stuff against my person as best I can, as I’m sans basket, and that’s when the loaf of bread - the one thing I came for in the first place - decides to rebel. I’m not sure how it happened. I suppose I must have had it positioned in just the wrong place, squeezed in between everything else, and maybe I inhaled too deeply just once or something - in any event, that’s when the bread jumps - literally - out of its paper bag - and, well, onto, you know, the floor. The supermarket floor.

Yes, I said it jumped out of the paper bag. I now have one loaf of bread, as buck naked as when it first came out of the oven, on the supermarket floor. Houston, we have a problem.

It was only there for a few seconds. With ninja-like reflexes, I rescued it almost instantly after impact. The nice lady behind me helped me maneuver it back it the bag.

Yes, I could have gone back and gotten a different loaf. However, I was waiting in line. It was a long line. I had been waiting a long time. And, yes, I could have stopped by some other store on the way home and bought another one there. However, I couldn’t be arsed. I was tired. I had had a long day at work.

And yes, I could just eat something else. I do have salmon and rice and vegetables and chocolate and some other stuff. But then I’ll have to cook, and right now I can’t be bothered to cook. Yes, I could order pizza, but then I have to wait. I’m hungry now. I want instant gratification. I just want some bread with some of that nice cheese.

So there it is, Dopers, and the question is… should I eat the bread? What hideous germs will I be infected with if I do? What time tomorrow will I be dead?

2

If you can recall which side of the bread hit the floor, a case could be made for eating the other side.

If you can’t recall…it is a supermarket floor we’re talking about. Hundreds of shoes and who knows what else trample it daily. If it were my own floor, things might be different.

Let us know if you do eat it, though. Perhaps it will just add flavor.

3

Cut off the crust and eat the center. Dah. :wink:

4

:smack: That might work.

5

I’d probably eat it. Maybe toast it in the oven to make yourself feel better.

Germs are everywhere, give your immune system a challenge!

6

Mmmm, buck-naked bread.

7

Just dust it off and eat it. That’s what I would do. Unless there was something visibly wrong with it.

8

I had two slices, then I thought the better of it. I think my immune system is pissed off enough as it is - I have a bad head cold. The two slices didn’t kill me, though, at least not so far. I’ve decided to keep the bread to see if anything funny will grow on it.

9

I’d toast it, but I’d eat it. :slight_smile:

10

If you have to ask, the answer is no.

11

I’d eat it. Probably toast it first because I’m a wimp that way, but do I honestly think there is anything to worry about? Naahhhh.

12

Eat it. Even thinking about not is silly.

13

If it landed on a wet spot, I’d cut away the portion that was moistened. But if it landed on a dry floor, just brush it off. Probably no more germs there than were already on it.

14

I figure if you’re buying the stuff that just comes in a paper bag you have to accept that other people have potentially touched the bread itself. Including small children and adults who don’t wash their hands after using the restroom.

Yeah, that’s why I usually make my own bread now. Or one of the reasons anyway.

15

Eat it!

My immune system is pretty, well, immune these days, though, so I may be a bit biased.

16

I’d be more worried about assholes touching the bread in the bag than I would be about it hitting the floor. Not many people wipe their privates with their feet…

17

I’d eat it.

18

Yet another signpost on the road toward the Singularity.

“I’ll just quickly hop online and poll people from all over the world on whether I should eat this bread.”

Seriously, if the fact that THE BREAD MOVED OF ITS OWN VOLITION doesn’t already deter you, why should a few floor germs? On the other hand, maybe you can get it to move again, in which case you might significantly advance the boundaries of science.

But then if it escapes into the plumbing, it might start breeding in there, and then before too long your kitchen would be infested with bread. This could be good or bad. I guess it all depends on how hungry you are.

19

And how much you like bread. Hint: I like it a lot.

20

Eat that bread! Teach that bastard who’s boss! Make it serve as an example to all the other loaves. They *want *you to not eat it. They want you to let that loaf go free.
You must eat that bread now. Otherwise, the terrorists might win.