Who let this bread expire?!

The BBQ Pit
1

I love Pepperidge Farm bread. IMO, it is the best mass-produced bread in America. Unfortunately for me, it’s not available west of the Rockies. Plenty of other PepFarm products are, but not the bread.

My mom used to send loaves to me when she and my dad lived in the east, but they’re in Vegas now. I could ask MIL, but there must be some reason that I’ve apparently forgotten why that’s not feasible. So when Mr. Rilch and I were at her house for Xmas this year, I snagged two “family size” loaves of white and a loaf of raisin. From a store, I mean, not from MIL’s house.

It was a looooooong drive back, and the car was crammed with luggage and so forth. We were supercareful both with the bread and with the posters we’d bought. No easy task, since, for safety’s sake, we unloaded most of what was in the car when we stopped at motels, then loaded it again in the morning. But we arrived with the bread and the posters both fully intact.

The night of the first full day we spent at home (a few days ago…I just now got around to posting this), I decided to make some toast as a bedtime snack. Crack open one of the loaves of white. Oh yeah, that’s the stuff. Pop in toaster, remove when it’s golden brown, spread with butter and red raspberry preserves (also acquired on the road).

Waitaminit…what’s this on the right-hand edges? Heh heh…that looks like…Well, I’ll just pick it off.

After consuming the toast, I examined the rest of the loaf.

Yes, you guessed right. A blister of blue-green mold, all along the side of the loaf. And it went deep; I’d gotten the only two slices that were passable. (Although they were somewhat…rigid…compared to what PepFarm bread should be.)

Where’s that tag? Here it is, where I tossed it under the sink.

Jan 2002.

God DAMN! Who the fuck let a loaf of bread sit on the shelf for a YEAR?! I remember a poster, a while back, explaining how those tags are color coded! Someone was supposed to note that this loaf had the wrong color tag, and fucking remove it!

The tag on the other white loaf says “Jan 2005”, so it should be okay. The raisin loaf is marked “Dec 2002”, so I’ll have to race against time. I did have two slices from that one, today, and it seemed all right. (No ill effects from the contaminated slices, either.)

But fuck sake, I drag three loaves of bread all the way across the country, only to find that one of them should have been tossed a year ago?! And furthermore, that’s three bucks down the fucking drain! Okay, technically, I could have checked the tag. But who the fuck goes around checking bread tags?!

(Friend’s .02: “Well, who goes around hoarding bread? Only you, Rilch! Jeez, you’d think it was World War Two! Next thing you’re gonna build an air-raid shelter in the back yard!”)

This is just the ultimate in frustration. Oh, I know it’s not, but crimeny…

2

Someone who didn’t read the date while in the store? :stuck_out_tongue:

3

Oh, poop on you, Lib. I already said that I’m aware that I could have checked the tag. But a fucking YEAR expired?! I shouldn’t have to anticipate THAT!

4

This is a joke, right? It’s clearly a mistake, because bread can’t keep for a year unscathed.

Right?

And how can bread keep until 2005?

It must be late, I can’t tell if this is a joke or not.

5

Oh, I agree. The deontics are maddening. The bread, however, is moldy.

6

You are definitely reading these dates wrong. No way does a year expired loaf of bread be anything other than moldy goop. No way does any loaf of regular bread last for 2 years!

Is this some sort of fancy space bread nobody told me about?

My bread has a label that says “fresh thru Jan 11” my bread lasts a week, and your’s lasts 2 years… I feel cheated!

7

I bet it had ultra thin heel slices, too!

;j

8

Don’t ya’ hate it when workers don’t do their job and loaf around all day?

But you have to sympathize with them. Really. They probably don’t get paid that much, and we all know how difficult it is to do a good job when you aren’t getting enough bread to pay the bills.

But damn, you’d think they’d have a grain of decency left in them to take moldy bread off the shelf.

:wink:

9

Wiseacre. You’ve got your crust, SkipMagic. Hmph.

10

Wiseacre, Skeezix? Nah, I think you were wheating too much into what I was trying to say. :stuck_out_tongue:

11

Of course, no matter how you slice it, Rilchiam has a valid complaint here. :eek:

Okay. I’m done. Really.

12

Tha chaff around this place can be so doughty and intimidating, somedays.

[sub]Ack, I’m so out of my league in a battle of wits. My half-baked responses never get much of a rise.[/sub]

13

I understand, I do. But because work is really stressful for me right now, going up against people smarter than me is the yeast of my worries.

14

And, truth be told, I’m pretty sure no one notices what I have to say anyway because my posts are usually sandwiched between more prolific posters.

15

Can we quit with the lame-ass puns and get an answer to the space bread question? I want to know about bread that lasts that long myself!

16

I am entirely responsible for this situation. It won’t happen again.

17

OpalCat has a point. As we all know, serious General Questions are the bread-and-butter of The BBQ Pit :wink:

::d&r::

18

That would be me. In fact, I spent around 15 minutes in the store last night going through bread tags, trying to decide whether it would be worth it to buy the cinnamon raisin bread I really wanted that would only last a week, or if I should go for the honey oat that would last two weeks. I hate, hate, hate moldy bread. Even seeing a few spots will put me off bread entirely for several weeks.

I ended up with cinnamon raisin bagels (January 18 date).

But I’m also wondering about the wonders of two year bread. I’ve never seen any bread dated more than two weeks out.

19

Yeah yeah yeah BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SPACE BREAD!?!?

I’ve been to Kennedy Space Center and I saw nothing about this.

20

You can buy the space bread at the same place that sells the fresh milk with an expiry date of Feb 2007!