My dad is something of a minor celebrity in his erstwhile field; he’s got a Wikipedia page and a few “fan” pages here and there on the net. All very complimentary, of course.
But he was a drunk, a wifebeater, and a child abuser. An all around pretty horrible person. Should I edit the Wiki page to that effect?
Of course I know I probably shouldn’t. Still, you know?
Wikipedia isn’t supposed to have original research, so you shouldn’t do anything there unless you’ve written a book or sworn out an affadavit about him first.
True.
It would only stand if you could provide a link to an article about an arrest or something like that. Blogs are out as well, for the most part.
I really don’t blame you for wanting to get revenge in this way… there are days I want to plaster telephone poles with fliers about ‘‘The Truth’’ regarding my own parents. But I don’t think it’s a very mature way to handle those feelings… and besides, it’s very unlikely anyone would believe you, because such a nice upstanding member of society is incapable of abusing a child. You would be alienating yourself from others, not him. Trust me, I have personal experience with this. Nobody wants to know the truth.
It’d be nice, though, wouldn’t it?
As well as, it’s frowned upon for people directly involved with what an article is about to edit them (i.e. friends of a person, employees of a company).
I would think they’d take it down as vandalism, unless you proved to them that you are who you say you are? 
Yea, I’m guessing you’ll just be hurting wikipedia by breaking their standards and not really convince anyone of your fathers sins, as most people would just see it as vandalism and disregard.
I suppose you could go to one of the fan sites and try there. Or alternatively, see if anyone plans on writing any magazine articles, etc. on your father and make sure they get your side of the story.
If he has ‘all very complimentary’ comments, well, he did something good.
Wrote good books, invented something useful? Whatever.
If you ‘out’ him for being a bad person, you may support the idea that good public acts somehow make up for being a bad person, or undermine the good that he did manage in his miserable and abusive existence.
I have a family member who is very highly thought of, and has behaved very badly to me. It sucks. So … suck it up.
Um, that was meant as supportive advice. (I’ll have to work on that … )
Yeah, some people can’t see the good of a person’s actions if they know the bad, and will reject the entirety of a person’s works if they know anything negative about the person. Stupid, and sad, but true.
lissener–would keeping your trap shut endanger somebody? If yes, call the cops, do not post doody to the Web.
If not, keepa you trap shut. You cannot make the world a better place by what could only be called revenge.
Shun the Dark Side of the Force. No postmortem “tell all” books.
I thought many times of bringing a huge shitstorm down on my father. Stuff that would absolutely ruin him for the rest of his life, financially and socially.
But all I would get out of it would be continuing an interaction with him, even in an indirect manner. Calling the IRS and the FBI on his ass would just make me emotionally involved again. And emotionally involved is exactly what I don’t want.
It’s not necessarily the mature thing to do, but there could be a way for you to accomplish it in a roundabout way by starting your own web page about your father. Make it a “Family History” page, and scan and upload family photos which would act as evidence that you are really who you say you are. Do whatever you’d need to do to make sure it gets indexed on the search engines, then just sit and wait.
Eventually, some fan looking up info on your father will find your page and may decide to edit the Wiki page to the effect of, “X’s son alleges alcoholism and abuse in his past [source:link to your page].”
Again, not necessarily the right thing to do, and I don’t really recommend it, but if you can live with the consequences and it would somehow be cathartic for you, then it’s certainly an answer to how to go about it.
I don’t agree that telling the truth about someone is revenge.
The truth is the truth. Let his reputation stand or fall based on the whole picture.
I’ve never understood people who think Julian Lennon should never have said anything about his dad being neglectful and abusive. It’s his damn dad, he has every right to put that information out there. Too bad if you’d rather think his dad was just a talented guy with no foibles. He wasn’t. Learn to either like the guys music and dislike him as a person, or however you want to deal with it.
I have no idea what the rules are for Wikipedia, but I don’t see any reason you should keep your mouth shut.
Unless the pages are lauding him for being a good father and husband, it would kinda be irrelevant.
Is there an element of hypocrisy or cognitive dissonance between your father’s public persona and his private sins? And how famous is he?
There have been cases of exposure that I thought were well warranted: the prominent children’s psychotherapist who abused children; conservative, “family-values” (and generally Republican) politicians outed as closeted gays; and writers, philosophers, and academics whose affiliations with Nazism/fascism/communism/…Islamofascism merit a reexamination of their work (or their heads). Is your father’s bad behavior a violation of some formal code of ethics or behavior required by his profession? Is he a preacher, a teacher, doctor, or lawyer, or a politician? Then your exposing him might be warranted.
OTOH, if your father’s claim to fame resides in his being, say, a session musician who’s recorded with Aretha Franklin and George Harrison, or for being the entrepreneur behind the “Pet Rock” fad of the '70’s, or for having designed the classic '68 Mustang, or for winning a couple of silver medals for the USA in the Los Angeles Games, then discretion is probably best.
All very good advice.
I’ve probably gotten as much indirect such revenge as I can respectably get–I once published a short story that included an actual incident (when my mother was raped at knife point he told her she should have killed herself rather than ever tell him about it), and people who knew me knew it was him. Maybe I’ll eventually write that memoir, it will become a best seller, and Herzog will make the movie . . . yeah, that’s the route I’ll take . . .
This kind of behavior in the end helps no one, and just makes you look small and petty.
It won’t make you feel any better, either.
But it’s a very nice fantasy.
No, a really nice fantasy involves copious amounts of baby oil, assorted furniture, showers, tubs, floors, walls, fruit, ice cubes, and well over a dozen orgasms over an extended weekend.
The fantasy of which you speak just sounds cold and bitter, even if it’s well deserved.
It’s completely understandable for lissener to not particularly enjoy his father’s undeserved reputation as a good guy, when he knows very well that he isn’t. I don’t think I’d call that “cold and bitter.” I’d call that “human.” I have to vote for not saying anthing too, though. I wouldn’t keep it a secret or anything, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to expose him. Why not tell us his name here, and it’ll get around the Net that way? 
I worked for the co-owner of a local company who’s nickname around the office was “Psycho Bitch From Hell,” and she earned it almost every day. She has been successful in local and provincial ventures, and I saw her listed as one of the most influential people in Alberta or some such shit like that, and it stuck deeply in my craw that this horrible person was being touted as some kind of business genius, when she drove most of her staff off with her incredibly unprofessional, abusive behaviour. In this case, I actually did say something, because it was pertinent (they have no business holding HER up as a good businesswoman). If it had been about her personal life, I would have kept my mouth shut, except to tell my husband and anyone else who will listen what a piece of crap she is. (The company is Alberta Computer Cable, by the way. Don’t buy cables from them if you can help it. They treat their staff like crap.)