Hey, I thought my nephew must be the only child in the known universe who was punished for a transgression by being forbidden books for a few days!
By the end of the period he was jonesing for text so badly he was resorting to watching DVDs (yep, he was allowed to keep the DVDs) with the subtitles turned on 
Nope–as a teen, I was punished once by being forbidden books for 3 weeks.
A kid after my own heart. I used to sit in the bathroom and read the labels on the cleaning products under the sink.
Damn, not half as ignorant as what you said. So you have to have hands on experience with something to have an opinion? Are you a professional baseball manager because I’ve seen you dole out some opinions on that, should we assume you to be ignorant? Do you have to be a politician to have an opinion on politics? How about books? I suppose you need to be an author to know if a book is well written.
Seriously, that high horse you’re on… you might want to dismount.
I hope that there will never be a need to hit my children. I have a fairly deep voice and can project loud enough to stop most people in their tracks. My girlfriend has actually suffered panic attacks when I’ve given her a loud warning to prevent her from getting injured (touching an open electrical circuit). Hopefully, that will be enough.
If I have any children, when they are small, I plan on teaching them courtesy and patience. That being said, I think that children who don’t have any fear and/or respect for their parents will not take well to any kind of behavior modification technique. Time-outs, losing priveledges, grounding are all acceptable punishments, I suppose, although I think they are for the most part innefective and give the child time to think about ways to manipulate their way out of punishment.
My dad used to punish me by making me do work. When I was young, it was making me work with him in the garage. When I was older, it was manual labor. He would cut down trees and make me cut all the branches off and bundle them up when I was suspended from school. We didn’t need the wood. I don’t even think we had a fireplace at that point. He just did it so I’d have some work to do. “If you’re not going to be doing your work at school, you’re going to be doing work here”, he’d say. I remember loathing it at the time, but looking back, it gave me a lot of time to think about the things I had done. And I actually did think about it, because I had to face the subject with every action I take.
The only time I can say I would definately hit my kid is if I ever saw him/her being a bully to someone else. Of course, by that time, I would hope that they would be taught better than that.
Nah. I was never hit and I turned out fine. But maybe I started out fine too
Whatever punishment you choose, be consistent and don’t show anger. The punishment should be about reprucussions for specific behaviors, and not about how you feel about the behavior. If you hit or yell in anger, the kid will see it as a personal fight between you and not associate it with the specific behavior. It’s also useful to tie the punishment with restitution - fixing whatever they did wrong, sometimes this is effective as the only punishment. It’s ok that they spilled milk, they just have to clean it up now. It’s ok that they broke the lamp, they just have to pay for a new one out of their allowance, etc.
I was never spanked as a child. Not once. Hubby was hit often with whatever was convenient: flyswatters, paper towel tubes, sticks, hands, fireplace tools. Yeah, quite a drastic difference. I have to say I’m eternally grateful to have never been spanked. Never had to be in “fear” of my parents anger and physical strength put together. I watched friends, cousins, relatives being chased through their houses by parents with open hands and fists and it affected me for the rest of my life.
Before Hubby and I had kids, we thought we’d be the kind of parents who’d be okay with an occasional spanking. Then we had The Boy. The sensitive “mama’s boy”, smiley, warm little guy who had the usual tantrums, talking back, moments of toddler terror that they all do. It was then that we knew we never wanted him to feel that kind of fear and terror that my husband was a victim and that I witnessed. We vowed to take it day by day and never let our anger or frustration get the best of us.
Today, with my still sweet and sensitive yet still occasional holy terror 4-year old son, I watch other parents who use spanking as a “last resort” for nearly every infraction. And I don’t judge, honestly. Whatever works for a family is their business. But what happens when that “last resort” doesn’t work anymore? What if the child hits you back? Will you just keep hitting him back? What if you spank him/her and they stand there like a gentle breeze just whooshed by their bottoms? Those are questions I never wanted to have to ponder.