Press charges. He needs to learn that there are consequences to his actions.
Talk with the parent(s) and gauge their attitude about the whole matter. If they are sickly defensive and do not demand their kid apologize then I would let press charges and let the juvenile justice system take over.
I had a student break two of my fingers, and I was hesitant to press charges. I did though. The best reason to do it is to protect yourself. If this kid says later that you hit him, you need to have police documents that have your story. If you don’t press charges there may be suspicion that you have something to hide.
I know the dilemma that you are having about the welfare of the kid, you take care of children and that is often your first thought. You can always drop the charges later if you think differently.
Don’t let this frustration happen to you.
Best of luck!
Press charges! Then you will be known as She Who Is Not To Be Trifled With among your students, which could protect you in the future should any other of the little monsters get a bright idea.
Yes to what others said:
- Attitude counts for a lot. Both after, and before the incident in general. Is this a person who seemed inclined towards this sort of behaviour? Did he seem remorseful after?
- Parents attitude counts for a lot. Where do his parents stand on this, and how have they seemed responsibility-wise in past conversations?
- How intentional was his act?
What he’s gone through up till this point is pretty substantial (no doubt a serious reprimand from you, security removing him, expulsion hearing, knowing he may face criminal charges, and if he’s from a decent home, severe correction from his parents). So, based on his past attitude, current attitude and home environment, this could be punishment plenty. I suspect this is the case.
On the other hand, if he has been a problem child all along, displays no remorse for his actions, and seems to have no pressure towards good behavior at home, then by all means put more societal punishment in place and file charges.
“He bent my wrist backward…” This is different from, say, “my wrist got bent backwards.”
I haven’t been able to imagine how he could have bent your wrist backward without either grabbing your hand or thrusting at it with significant force. So while he might not have intended to sprain your wrist, he clearly intended to assault your hand/arm. He didn’t withdraw, he attacked. In my opinion, this is absolutely not to be tolerated.
My advice: go to the hearing and be firm about being attacked. Press charges. If you think it would be helpful, speak briefly to your other students about how there are certain appropriate responses if they feel you do something improper, but violating your body is not among them.
Update update!
Anyway, I’m thankful that none of my teachers never grabbed anything out of my hand. I have some serious personal space issues (I still get uncomfortable when most people hug me), and having something grabbed out of my hand would freak me out. In HS, it probably would’ve made me cry.
I vote for, “[student], could you please pay attention?” Grabbing things out of someone’s hand can come off as really aggressive and mean.
Anyway, to the OP.
If he did it on purpose, press charges until his head spins. Since we don’t know, well, anything else (his usual attitude, attitude since the incident, etc), that’s really all I can say for now.
But I’ve never aprained my wrist. And I can be clumsy, so it sounds like it was deliberate.
I think the best reason is to protect others; if you let the student get away with hurting you, you are putting other teachers and students at risk.
I agree that I’d like to know more about exactly how it happened and the student’s attitude afterwards, but absent these facts I’m going to buck the trend – don’t press charges. Twelve-year-olds and thirteen-year-olds are not adults, and they shouldn’t be held to the same standards of behavior as adults. Yes, the child needs to learn the consequences of his actions, but this can be accomplished by punishment, not a criminal trial. This kid didn’t shoot anyone, he didn’t cause permanent injury, he lashed out briefly when someone invaded his space. Children lash out – it doesn’t mean they are bad kids, and it doesn’t mean they will become bad people. The lesson you need to teach him is that mistakes have repercussions. The lesson you will be teaching him if you send him up for a criminal prosecution is that authority is arbitrary and that any mistakes he makes in the future are unforgiveable. That’s a much more effective way to create a hood than even letting him get away with something would be – but he’s not getting away with anything at all, because he’s facing stiff punishment already.
Also, I agree that you shouldn’t be grabbing things from kids in the first place – it’s too easy for everyone’s hindbrain to take over – both yours and the kid’s.
–Cliffy
A “hood”? What is this, 1958?
Unless he actually did let go, then proceeded to grab your wrist and bend it backwards, you should absolutely not consider pressing charges.
School policy or not, I don’t think you have any right to violate a kid’s personal space (especially one that’s larger than you) and try to forcibly remove an object from their possession. At least where I came from, you ALWAYS ask first. And if they refuse when you ask, you punish with detention or a trip to the principal’s office or what have you. But never do you physically enter a student’s personal space and remove something from them. By doing so, you inherently accept the risk of being defended against.
However, if you did manage to get it from him and THEN he retalliated by grabbing your wrist and twisting it, then the kid needs to learn more control. But I don’t think he was out of line at all if he simply tried to keep whatever was his.
You don’t enter someone’s personal space, no matter what school policy is. Had a teacher ever tried to take something from me physically, they probably would’ve ended up in the same position you are in now.
OK, now that we’ve heard from the student (Thanks Compu!), let’s get an update or more info the the teacher. Pretty please?
I lean strongly toward pressing charges. You were assaulted and injured by a student badly enough that you went to the hospital to get checked out. Students have no mysterious “right” to injure anyone who “enters their personal space”. Students need to learn that the teacher, no matter how small, is The Authority Figure and do as they are instructed in class.
Are the principal, the student’s parents, and your union rep (if you have one) all aware of exactly what went down? I second that writing the whole event down in your own words is a good idea, and will help you when you inevitably have to relate the events over and over again in detail.
Wow. What color is the sky on your planet?
Just out of curiosity, what level of aggression is justified? Say I’m a teacher, and I was trying to take a pen the student was clicking. Could he slap me in the face? What if it was a cellphone? Switchblade in the stomach?
I imagine taking his Gameboy Advance would earn me a beheading.
If he did it on purpose, charge the little bastard. There is no excuse for deliberately injuring someone who’s not trying to injure you. A thirteen-year-old is old enough to know better. A kid who injures a teacher on purpose should not be in a classroom with normal students. If he would treat a teacher like that, God knows how he treats smaller, weaker students that he dislikes.
Blue. Yours?
No aggression is justified. In fact, if you’d bother to read my reply, you’d know that I defended the student only if he had let go of the object and THEN retalliated. I wasn’t going to jump to the defense of either party except to say that invading someone’s personal space is never appropriate; however, since you’ve assumed that the student actually attacked her rather than tried to pull away, I guess I’m up to bat for the kid.
If someone tried to take something from me without a word, just reaching over and grabbing it from my hand – as the OP described – I’d maintain my grip and pull it back towards me. As the OP described herself as a “little lady,” I can imagine how her wrist may be hurt by a larger body recoiling. Unfortunately, I say she’s in the wrong for even trying to snatch it from him and by trying to, accepted risk for ensuing defense. I’d think that 9 times out of 10, human nature would dictate pulling back to keep whatever you have if someone suddenly grabs it.
I see no reason why the OP could not have simply said “that is very disruptive, please put it away,” or even “that is very disruptive, please give it to me until the end of class” if she wanted. Even if the student did not comply, she was out of line to try to grab it from him, and should have instead written him up, sent him to the principal’s office, or decided on a more appropriate punishment. Acting as if the student physically attacked her (again, I’m making the assumption that he just pulled his arm back without letting go and then grabbing her wrist, since you seem to be convinced that there was an actual assault) and then demanding that he be removed by security seems like abuse of the system.
It’s like suing the knife company because you grabbed the wrong end.
And just so we’re clear, I’ll emphasize my opinion that if he did it deliberately, intending to hurt the OP, then yes, action should be taken. I don’t know if I would go as far as pressing charges, but if it was intentional, then the child should be punished accordingly.
Thanks for all of the ideas.
I decided not to press charges, but to request the strongest available punishment from the school. Maybe it’s the right decision, maybe the wrong one. I’m not sure myself. But it’s working for me. I am feeling that I shouldn’t have gotten into his space, although he certainly was very wrong, and it made me hesitate a little bit. He cried, his parents have him in therapy, and I have a volunteer to take him so I won’t have to have him back in my class when (if) he returns to school. Those things are all I really need.
He has had problems with his impulse control before, but it was his first major act of violence, and right or wrong, that’s what I decided. Maybe there won’t be a next time. I hope. If there is, this one is firmly on his Permanent Record and will weigh against him strongly.
My wrist is feeling much better, by the way. I returned to school today, after deciding that I’d been traumatized enough to take the day off on Friday as well. I went to the zoo and watched them feeding the manatees. Manatees are highly amusing creatures. Most of my students were very supportive, and I came back to cards and hugs and worried kids.
Here’s hoping it all works out okay. My sudden desire to buy a condo may well be a reflection of my determination that, despite one rotten student doing a rotten thing, teaching is definitely what I want to be doing and here is where I want to be doing it.
My apologies for the triply-reply. Upon re-reading the OP once more, I came across
which I had apparently missed before. If this is indeed the case, and the student didn’t simply hold on and pull back but rather let go and THEN proceeded to grab your wrist and bend it backwards, then yes, action should be taken. Again, I don’t know about the appropriateness of pressing charges (it seems that, in this case, an academic punishment (suspension?) along with your request to never teach the student again should be enough), but I don’t think the student should be getting off scot free.
However, I do maintain that otherwise, the student wouldnt’ve been in the wrong (had he held on and pulled back, and inadvertantly hurt you in doing so).
Good luck with the wrist.
I am so glad everything worked out. I think that most teenagers are great and I am very happy that you came back to alot of support. That was really sweet.
Anyway good luck with the wrist!
I was distressed to read about your misfortune, FisherQueen. I’m glad things are resolved to your satisfaction. And by the way…I miss you terribly.