Should I press charges?

So, I’ve been having a rotten few days. I’m going to try to keep these details vague enough that I’m not breaching anybody’s confidentiality, but I could use some advice.

I’m a teacher. A junior high school teacher. I’m a Tiny Little Woman, so most of my students are bigger than me, but that’s never really particularly bothered me. Tiny Little Women get used to looking up at the world.

The other day, I reached out to confiscate something from a student who was disrupting my class with it. I don’t wrestle students- if he’d just pulled back or held on, I’d have let go instantly and switched to verbal instructions. But he didn’t. He bent my wrist backward instead. It hurt.

I was, as you can imagine, deeply upset. I had security remove him. I got to have a fun trip to the hospital to make sure he hadn’t seriously injured me. I cried.

My wrist turned out to be quite mildly strained, nothing I couldn’t have done to myself opening a window or lifting a biggish box. My physical damage is minimal, my emotional damage a bit greater. It’s hard to explain what it’s like to have a student hurt you on purpose.

The kid is facing ‘expulsion,’ which in modern schools doesn’t mean permanent removal, just about a month or maybe a lot less. I’m trying to avoid having him come back to my classroom, but I’m not sure yet how that’ll go.

Now I have two choices to make:

  1. I have the right to attend his expulsion hearing. But I don’t have to. I’m not sure whether I want to go or not. Actually, right now I want to not see him again pretty strongly, but I keep wondering if I should go.

  2. I have the right to press criminal assault charges. On the one hand, I don’t like him having a juvenile record for inflicting what is, essentially, a boo-boo. On the other hand, I don’t want him to think he can avoid the consequences of his actions, either. The union recommends always pressing charges. I’m torn.

Good advice would be welcome. Similar experiences would be welcome. Frankly, hugs and chocolate would also be welcome.

I need more info. How was the kid immediatly after the incedent? Has he shown any remorse since the incident? Has he apologized in any manner? Have his parents/guardians come forward with any similar actions?

Sorry to hear about that… I imagine it could be very rattling.

The only thing I have to offer is an opinion - tendencies towards violence should curbed early. And firmly. If you’re certain it was intentional and not accidental, I’d say prosecute to the full extent of the law. You may be worried that having this on his record will damage his future chances… that may be, but it may serve as an example of the consequences of violence to the other students in the class, and end up making their lives turn out better.

I may seem a bit strident, but one of my pet peeves about society is a tendency to reward aggression. People getting what they want because they’re willing to take it? Not if I have anything to say about it.

Personal opinion - don’t press charges, but refuse to teach him again. Hopefully you’ve the right to do that, or at least that your union will support you.

I too, would like to hear about his attitude during/after the incident but I’m leaning towards pressing charges.

If nothing else if this were to happen again in the school then that student will probably say ‘Well Ms. FisherQueen didn’t press charges?’

I would ask the advice of your fellow teachers at the school. They know you and the student much better and your decision will have an impact on them.

I’m with NurseCarmen on this one. We need more info on both the incident itself, and the kid’s behaviour afterwards.

If I were you I’d carefully consider both before deciding to press charges.

Another thing I would strongly suggest to you, specially since most of your students are bigger than you is NOT to violate their personal space.

I almost got into serious trouble in junior high once because a teacher decided to violate my personal space instead of talking to me. She was saying something, I though I had to take notes so I began to write down anything she was saying that I considered important. It seems she did not appreciate this, preferring me to keep my complete attention on her. She moved over to my desk while I was writting and tried to snatch my pen away. I instictively pulled it back (I was also thinking it might be my joker friend behind me) and sracthed up her hand with the clip nastily enough to cause her to bleed (the clip was a little messed up and was metal). I was basically accused of “attacking” her with the pen.

The whole mess could of been avoided if she had just stood in front of me and said “Kinthalis, I need you to pay attention to me, please put your pen down”.

Eh, not to say that this incident was anything liek my experience, sounds like this was not just an accident.

Agreed there is not enough information as to whether you should press charges. As for the expulsion hearing, can you submit a written statement in lieu of a personal appearance? The act of drafting the statement will help you sort through the entire situation and clarify your thinking on the charges issue.

Whatever the outcome, this student must be removed from your class. Even if there is no other consequence, there must be this one.

How awful! I’ve been teaching a while and have been fortunate never to have a student deliberately hurt me. Threats were bad enough, thank you very much. Treat yourself to something a little special this weekend.

My honest opinion is that if this student deliberately hurt you, then do as your union recommends and press charges. The way I look at it, it’s good for you, for other teachers and for the student as well. This may be the wake-up call he and his family need.

Be sure that this student doesn’t come back to your class this year at the very least. In my district, stating that the student has demonstrated that he or she is unable/unwilling to take a teacher directive and is therefore a danger to others, works wonders in finding a new class for the lil’ darling. You’ve certainly got evidence to support this assertion and the school should be very concerned about your safety and covering their asses should he be returned and things get worse.

Good luck and feel better!

This definitely needs some elaboration before I could offer strong advice one way or the other.

When I was in Middle School, I was small… under 5 foot. Not the smallest in my class, but in the lower half. I was also a bundle of nervous energy… I would figit.

Earch Science class, we’re about to start working with microscopes. the teacher is talking through the various procedures, safety stuff, etc… I’m listening pretty attentively and not even noticing that I’ve got one of the water bottles in my hand and I’m squeezing the rubber stopper pulling water in and back out into the bottle. I’m not taking the stoper out and squirting my fellow students, it’s not noisy, it’s apparently just something I’m doing to occupy my hand. The teacher strides across the classroom, takes the bottle out of my hand, fills the stopper and squirts me in the face telling me to quit playing with the equipment.

Now if this isn’t mortifying enough, he strides back to the front, continues to lecture and then as I’m almost getting my embarassment under control he chimes in with “Oh, are you crying, did I make you feel bad?” in the most sarcastic cutting fashion I could think of. Or at least that’s how I remember it now a few decades later.

So… the student’s reaction may or may not have been intentional… your reaching into his personal space to confiscate something could have been entirely normal or a really bad way of confiscating something.

Can you tell us a little more without telling us more without infringing on privacy issues?

Yes, I think it MIGHT make a difference if there was any remorse on the student’s part. But, did he or did he not mean to hurt you? That’s the question, to my mind. It sort of sounds like he did mean to but it’s hard to tell without more information.

If he did mean to hurt you, then there’s no question that charges are in order. IMHO.

A bully is a bully. The sooner consequences materialize for those so inclined, the better for all in my book.

From your description, FisherQueen, it seems as if you grabbed the offensive object which was in the student’s hand, and then he let the object go, grabbed your hand/wrist and applied backward pressure. Is this accurate?

If that’s what happened, file charges. If his interest was in keeping whatever the disruptive item was, he wouldn’t have let it go to grab you in an offensive manner. If that’s the scenario, then his goal was to hurt you; maybe just enough to make you drop his thing, maybe to “teach you” not to grab his stuff. Either way, it sounds a helluva lot like assault to me. For something that simple he’s not likely to do any time, but the criminal consequences attached to the process are certainly appropriate as a pointed lesson in “if you expect to be a free member of this society, you do not ever put your hands on another person in an effort to hurt them.”

If it happened differently, then I can’t speak to the criminal charge issue. But making sure that this kid is permanently barred from your classroom seems to be in everyone’s best interest. Do whatever you can to be sure that happens.

if the incident could have been the result of him/her simply resisting you taking something from him/her, then pressing charges are probably not necessary.
If in your opinion he deliberately intended to cause pain or injure you then you SHOULD press charges.

That’s what it sounds like to me. Perhaps I’m not getting the full picture here, but I can’t really imagine what the scenario could be where he could bend back her wrist and it be an accident. Of course, I await FisherQueen’s further elaboration.

If he did it in the way TeaElle describes (i.e. did it deliberately), I say, file charges. If you don’t, it’ll be something worse next time.

If the kid is really really remorseful, maybe then reconsider. But if he did it deliberately (even if he’s sorry later), then he has poor impulse control. He needs it to have it cemented into his head that he has to control these impulses. The sooner he learns, the better.

could you talk to a prosecutor or some other official about your specific circumstances? if the guy deliberately tried to hurt you, you probably should press charges. but if you press charges, and then the prosecutor drops the case, or the kid gets acquitted in court, he might conclude that the legal system can’t touch him. that’s not the lesson you want to be teaching.

as an alternative, if the system is big enough, can he be shipped to a different school after his “expulsion”? that would get him out of your life and and pretty severely disrupt his, which might be punishment enough.

If it was deliberate, press charges.

The kid’s got to learn what the consequences to his actions are. If he hurts someone, then he should have to deal with the legal system. If he hurt you, and nothing happens to him, then you’ve just made it clear to any other bullying students in your classroom that you’re fair game, and you’ll have to deal with crap like this again.

A couple of years ago a Rugby League referee was assaulted by some guy in a pub. The national league referees are fairly public figures, in Sydney at least. There was some coverage of the incident in the papers that the ref tried to play down. In the end he went and saw his assailant and told him he could either get treatment for his alcohol/violence problem or be charged. The guy chose to get treatment and the ref dropped the charges. The ref later said he just wanted something good to come out of the incident rather than making the event the start of a chain of unpleasantness. That seemed like a pretty sane response to me and it left the ref satisfied.

Where does the school’s principal stand on all this? Or don’t schools have principals any more? (It’s been a while.)

MizQuirk

Have you talked to his parents yet?

Another vote here for pressing charges. If he deliberately hurt you, he needs to suffer the consequences of his actions.