Ok guys and girls, I’m in a dilemma here and I need your help. Here’s the situation:
At the moment I’m studying A levels to get into university. I have an offer from the university I want and I have accepted it. Now for those of you who know how it works in Britain you need a specific number of points from the grades you earn. For my university I need 200 points. Today I got my results from my last batch of exams and I have 280 points collected so far, which means that I can drop out now if I want to and I want to.
The thing the college (for 6th formers, not like uni) where I study SUCKS. Well I say sucks, it’s a good college with good teachers and the like, but I just don’t fit in. I have no actual friends at the college apart from some friendlyness now and then and that’s been going on for one and a half years. No-one really wants to know me and it’s been a struggle emotionally to get this far and now I have the chance to leave.
So do I do it? I could be earning money towards university and be gaining experience in the real world. I feel really torn between doing what I want and taking it “like a man”, out of some deranged loyalty for people who won’t realise I would have left.
I’m having a little trouble following why you don’t want to leave for university. The only reason you’re going to college is to get points, and now you have the points needed. Obligation filled, time to move on.
The college doesn’t care if you stay or leave, so why should you?
I think you should take off, too. If you have far more points than you actually need to get to university, you’ve got an offer from a university, and you really hate where you are now, get out. A year and a half is a long time to be unhappy, and IMHO, I don’t see how staying there even after you’ve completed your obligations would somehow indicate that you’re “taking it like a man.” And forcing yourself to be loyal to people you don’t care a whit about is kind of silly - if they’re not going to appreciate or even notice that loyalty and you really don’t know them, it seems to me that any loyalty you feel you owe them is misplaced. Be loyal to yourself instead.
Thanks a lot. I needed someone to slap me around the head and get me to make up my mind. I can mess around sometimes when something needs doing. Anyway I’m setting up a meeting with the principal tomorrow.
Do you have any more learning to do at college, or is it just exams left to take? A levels have changed a lot since I took them by the sounds of things. What would your A level grades look like if you left now and had to write them on a CV? If you stayed would they look much better on your CV?
Remember some people do drop out of University, and have to then rely on their A-level results as their key achademic experience in writing CVs. Also even if you complete University a middling degree (Lower 2nd, for example) looks better when accompanied by four A’s at a level than accompanied by an A and two C’s (do they use letters to denote A level grades any more?). Also A levels outside the scope of what you do at University are always good CV material (A degree qualified Computer Scientist who also has an A level in French would be very good for an international european company).
Though my above message comes out as a downer on the idea of leaving. I would deffinately suggest leaving if you don’t think my concerns written above would affect you. Also if in the time you leave you do something interesting and CV worthy (a months travelling arround India for example is very CV worthy) that would be good.
Alright ladies and gentlemen, if you’ll form an orderly queue I am now available to get a kick in the arse . I’ve chickened out, short and sweet. You want longer?
I phoned the school, got put through to the sixth form office. They said I could speak to the head of year on Monday. Within 20 minutes, I kid you not, the head of year (the lovely Ms. Ferguson) was on the phone wanting to hear what I had to say. I told her I wanted to leave, she said no, no, no, no, no. Then she went on for a while about how I’ll be throwing my chances away. Now for those of you who don’t know me, I’m a sheep. I’m not proud of it, just too much of a coward to say otherwise. I’ve always done as I was told and it seemed that this time was no exception. So I’m back to school Monday.
Some of the stuff she said made sense though, like Bippy was saying I could get much better grades and although my grades are A’s and B’s at the moments the most are AS level (half an A level). Only problem is now she’s talking to all my teachers to check up on me so if they didn’t know I was thinking of leaving before they sure as hell know now.
[QUOTE=nocturnal_tickNow for those of you who don’t know me, I’m a sheep. I’m not proud of it, just too much of a coward to say otherwise. I’ve always done as I was told and it seemed that this time was no exception.[/QUOTE]
As a US citizen, I don’t claim to even begin to understand the British educational system, but the above quote seems to me to be a very good reason NOT to drop out. Frankly, school is a fairly safe place. Unless you are really trying, there is a limit to the amount of trouble you can get into. If you are out in the world, nothing serious to do, a year and a half (I think you said) to kill before you start university, and you are a drifting follower type, then I foresee trouble ahead for you.
There are nasty, evil people who look for followers. There are interesting things to do that will distract you from working/saving your money/going to university when the time comes.
Stay in school, and, aside from your grades/classes, concentrate on yourself. Find out why you’re such a sheep. Build up your self-confidence and strength. Learn to meditate, see a therapist, do a lot of journalling, however you do best. Then go off to university, and I bet you’ll have a much better time socially.
I have a question which may be totally off-base, but are you PAYING for this school? Because if you are, that might partly explain why they want you to stay. (Not entirely, but it could be a factor.)
I’m asking about money since I am a cynical American university student who has been declared a non-resident by the school she’s applying to even though she’s been in the state for over a year, and by the time classes start it’ll be more like a year and a half. They just want more money, and now I have to go through six kinds of hell doing paperwork to convince them that I really do live here.
I would seriously suggest that you stay. You have only 3 months or so left to finish, and it wouldn’t bring you any real benefits to quit now. Don’t be fooled into thinking that once you have left college your A-levels (or A2 or whatever they decide to call then now) are not important, lots of things can happen, you could get to uni and decide you don’t like it, and if you haven’t finished your A-levels then you will have to explain to a prospective employer why you left college with only a few months to go. You don’t say what A-levels you are studying, or exactly where the points you already have come from, but before you consider leaving you also need to contact the university that you are going to to make sure that they don’t require that you finish your VI form education as a condition of entry. I’m sure that your teachers will tell you the same things, but listen to them. Leaving early could be a bad thing as well for the reasons stated by The Punkyova (although if you leave now it would only be about 6 months to kill, assuming a late septemberish start), leaving now with no particular plan and time to kill will get you out of the habit of study, and that makes the transition to uni all the more difficult.
Having said all that though, I would add Bippy’s disclaimer about ignoring it if you want to/have something better planned than watching daytime TV for 6 months.
Now I seriously need to work on my dissertation before my degree sinks out of sight
This is more general that specific advice, but it always looks better on paper to finish something.
If asked in the future why you didn’t complete this level, what will you say? “Nobody liked me”? Won’t sound good to a prospective employer.
And, now I am not slamming you or anything, maybe your social skills leave something to be desired.
Design a sort of independent study in anthropology for the rest of your time there. Study how other students interact, their habits, cultural assumptions, non-verbal communication techniques. It will keep you busy, if nothing else.
Well I’m certainly regretting starting this thread. Firstly j66, you want me to do an anthropological study of my classmates and you say my social skills are bad. It was a joke, really, don’t kill me. As for The Punkyova, therapists?! That’s just fuelling my improper stereotypical views of Americans. But I like your other suggestions, I journal a lot now anyways. Thanks a lot.
But you’re all totally right, it is me that’s the problem in this whole equation. My whole sheep analogy was pretty much way off considering that to be a sheep requires you to run with the herd. I’m not gonna go into my life story, that’s one for another thread. Some time in the future. The far away future. But what I meant was I never got on comfortably around people, ever. I just did what I needed to to get along. I’ve come to rely on school and it’s only now I realise that all these years have made me a hollow, unaccomplished man. That’s why I was so eager to gain experience in the real world. But I only have another 10 or so weeks and then I’ll face the world for sure, you know because they don’t think well of trespassing at my school.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, at your age most of us are fairly hollow and unaccomplished, I know I was. If you want experience of the real world there is plenty of time over the summer to get some work, try local temping agencies, they are usually desperate for students over the summer to work everywhere from offices to warehouses (try shift work for really good pay and a screwed up sleep pattern :)) and if you fill in the right forms you don’t even pay tax ;). Learning to get on comfortably around people is difficult and takes time, but you should bear in ming that the people in college are hugely different from those you will meet at uni, or at least that was my experience. I am not in contact now with anyone who I knew at school/college, and I don’t think I would regret it if I never saw them again, I thought that I couldn’t cope in social situations, but it is different when you get to uni and everyone is in the same position of not knowing anyone. In the end it is your decision, but I think you should look at exactly what you would stand to gain by leaving with only 10 weeks to go versus what you can gain by sticking it out for that time.
Also, don’t regret asking for advice, especially on a (fairly) anonymous message board, and remember that you’re free to take it or not, or even not to read it.
If ]my social skills were all that good, would I be spending Sunday afternoon in front of a computer?
And actually, it kind of works; I’ve done a lot of contract work, and I had to find some way to fit in fast (and to relax until I did fit it) (and to find excuse for why it was their fault and not mine if I never did fit in).
I needed someone to slap me around the head and get me to make up my mind. I can mess around sometimes when something needs doing. Anyway I’m setting up a meeting with the principal tomorrow.
. I’ve chickened out, short and sweet. You want longer?
and then I’ll face the world for sure, you know because they don’t think well of trespassing at my school.