Add another vote to, “Send a nice card from a couple (you two) to the couple.” Of course, nothing we say matters - what does your wife think of this idea?
No. It would not be appropriate. Do not do it.
Why would anyone send an anniversary card to someone they have only seen a couple of times in over 50 years? The OP clearly doesn’t know these people as a couple. If I received anything from someone under those conditions, I would immediately think: “loon”.
An anniversary card is certainly appropriate: why would there be any problem with that, even if you’ve only seen them once or twice during the 50 years? And there’s no problem with a small gift, as long as it’s a gift to both members of the couple.
No, not sending anything is more appropriate, as the reason the OP wants to send anything, has nothing to do with the couple, but because of old embers of love he still has for this person from over 50 years ago.
Just wanted to add that the OP has made exactly two posts on this board. The other one was back in May and back then he posted on almost exactly this same topic. Same woman, same dillemma about how to best give her a gift.
It’s been five decades. It was two thirds of your life ago. She’s grown. You’ve grown. She’s changed. You’ve changed.
Go live with your wife and be happy.
OK, then an anniversary card to the couple (and not just to the wife) is still appropriate: it sends a subtext that the OP is over the infatuation, and has finally accepted the marriage. In addition, the card should be signed by the OP and his wife.
Well, yellow roses are generally seen as symbolizing friendship, but I’m told that they also have a connotation of jealously (Wikipedia lists: Friendship, jealousy, infidelity, or apology, a broken heart, intense emotion, dying love, extreme betrayal). I think friendship is the dominant meaning, however.
Personally I’d do a “to the couple, from the couple” thing. And possibly not roses.
Totally disagree. You seem to think that the old lover has some knowledge of a continued infatuation. They’ve only seen each other twice in 50 years. And it’s clear from the OP that he’s not over his infatuation…it’s still burning 50 years later. There are no positives that come from sending any type of gift, card, etc.
Now if the OP is ready to leave his wife and re-declare his love to this woman with the hopes she might leave her husband of 50 years, then send a gift and a statement with that intention. Otherwise, let dead dogs lie.
Seconded. Anything (card, note) would be inappropriate at this point.
No, it was about what to do with her old love letters, and how when he died, he wanted them sent to her. :eek:
In this case, I’d definitely leave it go, or if you feel you must, nothing more than a card from you and your wife.
It’s creepy.
Just a wee. 