I was with my gf for 6 years before we got married, lived together for 4 of those. 2 months after we were married, she decided she’d rather be sleeping with another women and consequently started treating me like shit, stealing my money and basically making my life hell.
After 6 months of that I got out. It still took a while as over here you have to be married for a year and a day (!) before you can petition for divorce (file). Counselling wouldn’t have helped at all, it would have dragged things out for even longer and made me even more miserable than I was! As for marriage, well, my suspicion is that she went through the whole thing to give a veneer of respectability (she’s a primary (elementary) school teacher) - so no amount of counselling or guidance would have helped then either.
Unfortunately, I don’t think you can legislate against human nature. When it’s all gone wrong - the most painless way is the quickest separation you can achieve.
One thought - fortunately, no children involved in my case. Perhaps that changes the situation slightly?
I agee, even sven. (In fact, I read through all the preceding posts looking for one like yours.) Leave compulsory pre-marriage counselling to the parishes and churches. Leave civil services and divorce to the parties involved.
I don’t think so. IMO, if parents are unhappy together, I think it’s better they divorce than “stick together for the children”. (There’s research to back up my view; I’ll try to find a linkable source.) Divorce should be just as “easy” for married couples with kids as it is for childless couples.
Oh, and it’s still $0.02. This place is swarming with Americans.
Easy in…easy out. I agree with everyone that says lawyers, politicians, and counselors don’t have a clue to what’s best for the partners in the marriage. When it’s time to go, it’s time to go.
I think the only people that would want to put a time limit on divorce are those partners that want to stay married even though their spouses want out. That’s just natural. When you still love someone, you don’t want them to give up yet because YOU still see hope in the situation. Kinda silly, huh?
Geez! I wasn’t even married and I refused to let go of my son’s dad (what the heck was I thinkin’?) As it turns out, it was the only productive thought he ever contributed to our relationship. And there I was, hanging on his leg like a friggin’ toddler… suggesting counseling…AS IF!
I think we need less of a nanny state, not more; I don’t want the government interfering with my marriage anymore than they already do (cough marriage pentaly cough).
I hoped the OP would offer some reasons why it should be harder to get divorced. I for one don’t see any sense in forcing people to stick together when they want to break up. I’ll agree to the pre-marital counselling because I think it would be beneficial to a lot of people, helping them to learn techniques to improve their communication and perhaps making them more likely to seek counselling if the marriage does become endangered later - even if it doesn’t make an impact on the divorce rate, it’s still worthy. However, I don’t see why there should be any reason to force people to jump through hoops so they can divorce. I would like to believe that no one goes into divorce lightly, and if they do - perhaps it’s the right thing anyway.
Reflecting on the marriages I’ve seen end, counselling and longer waiting periods would only have made the process more painful. My mother-in-law is Australian born but was living in America at the time of her divorce. Six months of counselling would not have changed the fact that her husband had impregnated another woman and wanted to be with the other woman instead, but it would have meant that my mother-in-law’s life would be stuck in limbo longer, as she wanted to return to Australia and be with her family (she had her ex husband’s blessing to do this). She’d already been through a lot - she was three months pregnant when the other woman fell pregnant - how would drawing out the divorce process help?
As others have pointed out, it’s none of the government’s business whether I get married or divorced. Why should they care one way or another? If couples choose to seek counselling before marriage or divorce, that’s wonderful. I applaud them. But my marital status is a private matter that should not be of concern to the state.
