Just so a small percentage of men can be assured that they aren’t financing the raising of the “wrong” child?
No. The word “mandatory” say’s it all.
This question was being argued in GQ, and the thread was properly closed.
Peace,
mangeorge
No, I don’t think it should be mandatory.
But I think that if any man wants to have a DNA test done to make certain of the paternity, it should be his right. Especially if child support payments are involved.
It would be hard to argue with that, Blalron. The child support part, anyway.
I do think we would be surprised at how many really are the father, and at how many don’t pay child support even in the face of this proof.
I would say no, because in the vast majority of cases the parents are certain that the child is theirs biologically. Also, if mistakes were made during the process, such as sending the wrong blood sample to the lab, it could cause a needless crisis.
I would say no. But it should be mandatory for all child support claims.
Are you out of your mind? Do you know how many marriages that would wreck?!
No, most of the time it isn’t neccessary, and thus would be a wast of money. But in a child support case, if the man wants it he shoud get it.
I agree that it should not be mandatory in all cases. In fact, I don’t think it should be mandatory in child support cases if there is no dispute about the child’s paternity.
But if a man wants one, he should be able to get one. He should certainly be able to get one in child support cases, but I think he should be allowed to get one in any case, if that is what he wishes.
I also think there should be a way for him to get the test without the mother’s knowledge if he is financing the child’s upbringing. If a guy suspects that his wife or ex-wife was stepping out on him, he should be able to find out if the kid is his. But if the wife knew he was checking, especially if she was actually faithful, it could severely damage the marriage or strain the relationship between exes. A guy shoudl be able to find out without dealing with that.
Not me! I’m against it. 
I’m surprised at all the no’s. Cool 
From what I saw on that other thread, here, I expected more men to think it a good idea. Just a little cuckoldaphobia, I guess. 
Why would it ruin marriages?
If a man wants one he should get one. I strongly oppose mandatory testing, however. I know of at least 3 couples where the man was willing “cuckolded” including my cousin and her husband. She got pregnant by an Indian man, and ended up marrying his friend. He knew and was willing to raise the child as his own, but couldn’t tell his parents for cultural type reasons. Testing in that situation would have been a bad thing for all involved.
I would take issue with the “small percentage” of men mentioned in the OP. It is apparently 10% of all children that have the “wrong” father. That in itself is too big a risk to dismiss out of hand. But the more important statistic is the proportion of children born to adulterous women (sorry, I don’t have a figure for this, but I bet it’s higher than 10%). All such children’s paternity would be in doubt.
Maybe mandatory is a bit extreme (although it could still be confidential), but I certainly feel that any man should be able to get a DNA test without the consent or even knowledge of the mother.
And as I said in the original thread, no man should have to pay support for a child that isn’t theirs. I would go further and say that they should get any money they had already paid refunded.
These kind of discussions often dwell on child support payments, but that’s only money after all. In my view, much more significant is the injustice of a man being tricked into spending his life raising another man’s children believing that he is their father.
the case could be made that the marriage was wrecked when the wife had another man’s baby instead of her husband’s.
I read the thread that inspired this one, and I don’t believe that enough studies have been done to confirm this 10% number. And this 10% doesn’t take into account the “knowingly cuckolded,” those men who, for whatever reason, take on children that aren’t biologically their own.
Do like I did. Have twins and make sure one looks exactly like his father. Seriously, I should have DNA testing done on him to make sure he’s mine!
DNA testing is very expensive. Who would pay for this mandatory testing. The way things stand now, is there something to prevent a father from testing if he has any doubts?
Yes.
The unemployment rate in the US is over 5%. The additional personnel needed for mandatory DNA testing should drop it down under 1%.
Who pays for this?
Because I certainly do not want my insurance premiums raised (or my benefits cut) for this.
Child support and dead-beat dads is a whole other issue. Most (no cite) dads who don’t pay support aren’t truly in doubt of paternity, they just don’t want to give all that money to her. Especially if she’s found another man.
Find me a test that will conclusively prove whether or not said husband was having an affair. THEN we’ll talk about whether or not I would be willing to submit my body and my baby to a test that will assuage his feelings of insecurity.
Child support issues, sure…although I know of a few cases where paternity tests were demanded not because there was any real doubt about paternity, but because an angry husband knew what turmoil such a demand would cause. Frankly, I don’t believe that all DNA testing requests are solely motivated by financial concerns, and I’d be interested to see how many such tests prove that daddy really is Daddy.
I will tell you this from personal experience: My first husband went the I’m-so-pissed-I’m-going-to-claim-he’s-not-mine route, right through the whole DNA testing step. I have forgiven him many, many things, but I will never forgive him for making that attempt to deny his own child. I find comfort in the fact that he had to be absolutely stark raving crackers to even consider such a thing, and that his nasty attorney and family were exerting undue influence, but still…that is the kind of hurt and mother-instinct protectiveness that does not go away.
FWIW, I’ll never ever tell my son about the whole mess either. He loves his dad unconditionally, and that’s the relationship I want him to have with his father.
And y’know…it IS possible that a woman having an affair could still get pregnant by her husband.* I think the undercurrent of anger from men who want to PROVE that the wife is fooling around is obvious, and DNA testing may backfire for a number of those fellows.
*No, that did NOT happen in my case.
If a man has invested years of time and love in raising a child is it morally right for him to decide to do DNA testing with the idea of rejecting the child?
I think it’s one thing to request DNA testing when you have reservations about the possible paternity of a baby but if a marriage breaks up and the child is older, then is it right to reject the child?
We’ve wrestled with this one IRL and our decision was it isn’t sperm that makes the child yours, it’s the investment of time and love. Yes, the mother hasn’t behaved well but why should the child suffer?