Excuse me, I think you're the father of one of my children.

Factual Questions
1

You have probably seen the TV ad. Lady approaches guy and tells him “Excuse me, I think you are the father of one of my children”. In the ad, the guy tries to be helpful, but I guess things would work differently in real life and his answer would be “I have no recollection of that event”.

What happens then from a legal standpoint? Can any woman have any random guy at a mall subject to a paternity test?

What’s needed for a woman to get a man to undergo a paternity test?

Could a man ask a woman for a paternity test on one of her kids?

2

"Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, “My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???”

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, “No, I’m your son’s teacher.”

Sorry

That is what the courts are for and the laws are going to vary by state if she is serious about the matter. It happens in real life frequently and some men even have to pay a load of back child-support but those things require lawyers and judges.

3

Short answer: no.
If a woman alleges John Doe is the biofather, and he contests it, a court order would be required compelling him to participate in genetic testing.
If a woman lists a bunch of guys in a certain time frame as possible biofathers, we ask who would be willing to test. As the list dwindles, then court orders are required to complete genetic testing on the remaining men.
Yes, an alleged father can be held in contempt if he refuses to abide by the court order and circumstances are such where it’s pretty much a slam dunk he is the biofather. If it’s iffy, we tend to wait a while then ask again.

A name, hopefully an address and/or social security number, as much info as possible about the conception, and (often) a court order.
Cases where the alleged biofather was a one night stand and she THINKS his name is Scooter? Obviously not much can be done with that.

Yes. Again, a court order would most likely be required.

4

That is all it takes?!? Just an accusation by a woman and the man is subject to an invasive test? That doesn’t quite seem right…

5

She’s saying a court order would be required. Which implies court. Which means getting a lawyer, going to court, getting a judge to agree it’s likely enough that the guy she’s accusing may be the father. Which will depend on a lot of things - if she says “He looks like the guy I had a drunken one night stand with in Florida last December” and he replies “I’ve never seen this woman before - I was stationed in Iraq last December - here’s the paperwork to prove it”, then the judge will most likely throw it out. If she says “We had sex 5 times a week for 3 months, and I delivered 8 months after we broke up”, and his reply is “Yeah, we did have a lot of sex, but I used a condom at least half the time, and besides she’s a whore” it’s more likely the judge will order a paternity test.

6

I work at a lab that performs parentage testing. Court ordered tests go to another lab, but we do get a lot of calls from guys who want their kids tested without the mother finding out about it. If alleged father can produce a birth certificate listing himself as the kid’s father, we go ahead. Otherwise, no.

7

I don’t think my wife could produce my SSN if she needed to right now (even though my card is in our shared file). I dated several girls for good lengths of time without them knowing my address beyond town and section. Even a name is not guaranteed knowledge for one-night stands (specially if the guy is the kind of guy who would give a wrong name).

The details of the conception could be all invented and then it comes to he-said-she-said.

As for the Court Order well, make that my question then. What needs to happen for that woman to get a court order?.

I mean, thanks for the answer. I gather that you know what you are talking about but right now you left me with more questions than answers. If you could please elaborate…

8

No, there has to be some reason why she would name him as the possible father. She can’t just open a phone book and pick out a name. By this point she has filled out a very detailed paternity information request and has a face to face interview. After a while you can tell when she is making things up. We then contact him asking “Hey, do you know this chick? She claims you may be the daddy” and interview him fairly thoroughly. If things add up and he will not willingly take a paternity test, then we go for the court order.

If things do not add up, then we go back to the mom and start all over again.

And a buccal test invasive? It’s a Qtip swabbed in the mouth.

9

That’s not what she (I assume) said. She said that if a woman wants a man to take the test and the man does not want, then she’ll have to take it to court. She didn’t say anything about the court automatically issuing a court order.

10

Fair enough, but already dragging the guy to court is enough of a hassle. Lost work, expenses, reputation if word spreads. Even if the guy is left free, he came out in loss. What would this woman need to drag the man to court?

11

That is a pretty involved procedure from a legal standpoint. It will also cost her significant money at least upfront. DNA testing isn’t very invasive either. It often just requires a cheek swab. DNA is present in most of your body and can sometimes be tested from an over the counter kit that is certified.

12

Nitpick: if he was “unfaithful” at his bachelor party, it wasn’t to his wife.

13

If a person has a name and a city, that obviously helps a lot. If also helps if it was not a one night stand. But, as we all know, it happens. Often we ask the woman to obtain info - our resources only go so far and if it was Scooter from the Northside, it’s pretty safe that she’s going to know people who know people with info. We don’t. If she doesn’t, then paternity won’t ever be established. That’s very rare.

Yup. But by this point both parties have been interviewed and things either line up or they don’t.

Short answer: She has to be on public assistance or have a good attorney.

An affidavit from the mom needs to be filed attesting she is positive John Doe/Scooter is the biofather. If she’s on assistance, the child support agency files all this on her behalf. If not, her attorney would. A hearing date is obtained. The alleged father is personally served with the motion and affidavit. Anyone can file a motion for anything.

14

Given that the woman in the commercial, ostensibly a nun, is an absolute babe, I’m sure part fo the reason the guy was so flustered is that his first thought was “Hell, yeah, I can imagine having hti on her!”

15

That’s interesting. How many of those tests come back where the “father” isn’t the bio-father?

16

Sure it was, unless he has been engaged more than once (and to different women). When people ask me “How’d you meet your wife, Skaldie?” I tell the story about her giving me her phone number at the coffee shop; I don’t say, “Well, I was getting married, and after we both said I will, I looked down and there she was.”

17

It’s not as if it’s put in the local papers with a big ol’ banner headline.
We initially attempt contact with the alleged father by phone rather than in writing, just in case there is someone else getting the mail (read: wife/GF). If multiple attempts don’t work, then we do send a letter essentially stating as I noted above “Hey, you know Mary? She claims you’re a dad. Call us ASAP”. Interviews with the alleged father are done over the phone, unless he wants to come in.
Personal service for a hearing - we try to have him come in and pick up the papers. If that doesn’t work then we send someone out to serve him.
Expenses at that point are nonexistant on his behalf, unless he decides to jump the gun and hire an attorney. Attorneys really are not necessary until the genetic testing is completed. That’s my opinion, anyways.
Lost work is an issue, true. None of it is ‘take a whole day off’ kind of thing, though. Hearings to order genetic testing take maybe 15 minutes. Testing itself maybe 10. If not the dad, another 15 minute “Sorry!” hearing. If the dad, then yeah, the initial paternity hearing may take an hour.

18

The order is similar to a search warrent. Some judges are known for being relatively easy to convince to get a search order. Some are harder.

The OP question also leads to a bigger issue. In the USA anyone can sue anyone even for stupid reasons. And you have to defend against it. The only recourse you have is to file a countersuit for material losses.

So in the OP case if you were ordered to comply, you could sue the mother for the time lost and money damages if any. This is further complicated because the person would have to minimize losses to collect. I remember reading one case where the person countersued for lost work. But the judge ruled since the defendent took vacation time off, he wasn’t out anything so he didn’t get any compensation for damages. Some judges might not rule that way. It’s the luck of who you draw often.

Different states have different laws. In the old days state laws generally said, the person the mother is married to at the time of birth is presumed to be the father. In a lot of states, this has never been changed. So we wind up with odd things, like the mother having an affair, giving birth to a child that isn’t hers. A few years later she divorces and marries the biological father and the ex-husband is stuck with child support.

When the judges ruled like this, the answer was, “I’m following the law, if you don’t like it, change the law.” But that still hasn’t happened in a lot of state.

Some states also limit the time the father who is on the birth certificate can challange. There have been cases of mothers putting names of men on the birth certificate, and only much later did the man ever find out he was listed on the birth certificate and he wound up paying child support.

Some of these laws have been repealed or overturned but unfortunately too many exist. The ideal way is to perform a DNA test on every baby born. This of course has been condemed as wasteful in terms of money and resources. (Those who oppose say the DNA testing could be better used on criminal cases).

But as DNA testing gets easier and easier and more accurate, it’ll some day likely be the norm.

And also remember just because the woman can’t get the guy in, let’s say the judge won’t comply to issue a court order, she can always use another jurisdiction or wait and try to get another judge.

19

I don’t pretend to understand that, but my point was, that he wasn’t married yet as of his bachelor party and therefore could not be being unfaithful to his wife. At most, he was being unfaithful to his fiancee.

20

What I mean is that the phrase “my wife” is generally used in reference to a specific person, as if it were synonymous with her name. irrespective of whether the incident referred to occurred before or after the assumption of the role. Kim the Rhymer wasn’t my wife when we met; she only became my wife at the wedding. Thus, in the most nitpicky sense, I “met” my wife at the wedding. But the common use of the term is to say that “skald’s wife” = “kim,” even if talking about an incident that occurred before the marriage.