Legal question - can a child ask for a paternity test? (a bit long)

Factual Questions
1

This may be a sticky question, but my wife and I are thinking of having a child. I am not sure that my father is actually my biological father, and this is now causing some concern for long tern health issues for any child I may have.

I know the family scandal that this implies will send shockwaves, but it is a real concern. On the one hand, I’m accusing my mother of having an affair. I’m also accusing her of either hiding the truth from my father (in which case this will cause quite a stir), or accusing my father of knowing the truth and hiding it all of these years. Neither option is a good one.

There is the option, of course, that I am my father’s son. However, I look nothing like my father and my biological traits resemble my mother and her family only. My brothers all have traits of both of my parents. I do not. This has bugged me on and off for years, but now that my parents are old and may not be around much longer, I’d like to know the truth.

So, my question is, what are my rights from a legal standpoint? I am in Pennsylvania if that makes a difference. If it turns out that the man that raised me is not my father, I’m not looking to my biological father for financial support. I’m doing just fine. I’m looking for health information and anything that might be important to know as I am deciding to have a child.

As for my “father”, my relationship with him is strained and I haven’t spoken to him or my mother in years. However, my father and I did have a good relationship at one point. My mother was the one who never seemed to be too happy that I was around. Now that everyone from that generation is dying, however, things have changed considerably and I’ve begun to wonder why my mother was always so angry with me being around. Perhaps I was a constant reminder of something she’d rather forget. In any event, if I could find one shred of genetic resemblance with my father, this probably wouldn’t be on my mind at all. However, now it’s become an issue, and my wife has asked me to find out. And quite frankly, I’m curious myself.

So, do I have a legal right to ask for a paternity test? If so, how do I go about it?

Thanks in advance!

2

I am not a lawyer but I no some about these things. You have no chance at all unless you can somehow convince your supposed father or a (male) relative on that side to give a DNA sample. That opens up a lot of possibilities for you to explore but you cannot coerce someone into undergoing a biological test for your benefit. I believe a Y chromosome test from male 1st cousins from paternal uncles or male brothers could show what you want most easily. You have to get someone to cooperate but you can’t force them to.

3

I don’t think there’s any legal way you could compel them to submit to a DNA test, since you’re all grown up and getting child support from them is a moot issue. I doubt you could get the law involved in this, however IANAL.

If you’re on speaking terms with them, at least where you’re civil enough to each other that you can knock on his door and he’ll let you in, it probably wouldn’t be too hard to find stray strands of hair in the bathroom and send those in for testing… :dubious: depends on how badly you want to know.

4

IANAL, and I have no knowledge of the legal issues here, but I’m not sure what you plan to do even if a test DOES prove your familial father isn’t your biological one. No test is going to tell you who is; the only one who might reasonably be expected to know is your mother, and if she refuses to tell you then there’s nothing you can do about it. If you’re seeking leverage in the hopes of forcing an admission from here, well that might work.

That said, you don’t need a full paternity test–that is, you don’t need your father’s DNA. You can have your DNA compared to your brothers’, which can tell you if you have one or both parents in common.

5

Thanks all for the replies so far.

It’s a bit more complicated than it appears. About 2 years ago, a big family squabble caused the rift between my parents and unfortunately my brothers. No one is speaking to me. It’s not that I haven’t tried. My father declared me dead in front of his neighborhood after a loud argument, and my brothers (and their wives) followed lock-step with the crazy old man and have cut me off from my nephews and nieces. There’s money, property, etc. in the will, you see. and the finish line is closer than ever.

Anyway, getting samples from siblings isn’t an option right now. I fear since money is involved (isn’t it always?), and my parents are old, the stand-off will continue until they die. One less share will certainly be better for everyone else. And since my mother is allegedly sick (she’s been dying for years), I doubt anyone will be opening their mouths up for the DNA swabs anytime soon unless they have to.

I’m not really concerned with the money or the will. I just want to know the truth. Aside from hiring a P.I. to follow my father and mother around and waiting for them to toss a soda can in the trash or whatever, it sounds like I don’t have any legal recourse.

If true, this kinda sucks. :frowning:

6

I know! You could go see your father. Since you’re apparently not on the best of terms, you could instigate a fight between the two of you. Once things escalate to violence, grab a handful of his hair and run off. Take the hair sample to a testing place.

(Please note, this is both immoral and illegal and should not be heeded in any state.)

7

Don’t worry. I won’t. Even if I was tempted, the bastard is bald. Go figure. :smack:

Thanks for the laugh, though! :smiley:

8

Kurahee, do you have any particular reason to be unusually concerned about genetic problems? (a certain illness running in your dad’s side of the family that you hope you don’t actually have to worry about, something running in your wife’s family that you want to rule out of your background) If not… well, you’re already better off in this regard than a lot of adopted people, since you at least know your mom’s side for sure. You and your wife could get pre-conception genetic testing done and find out an awful lot. It’d certainly be easier than getting a paternity test, getting your mother to tell you who your genetic father is if it’s not “Dad”, finding him, and getting him or his family to give you THEIR health histories.

9

I was afraid of that. Sock him in the nose, get some blood on your hand, and don’t wash it 'till you can get it tested.

10

Now that’s the best response I’ve seen yet in this thread. You’ve a fine mind, elfbabe!

11

Heh, no need for a paternity test here… :stuck_out_tongue:

12

Well, not really. It’s a reply, but it doesn’t answer my question.

I’m looking for a legal response. I do appreciate your POV, elfbabe, but it’s not that simple. Having the child discussion with my wife has just accelerated the questioning.

There have been some red flags over the years that have made me wonder. What, if anything, I can do with this information once I find out is certainly debatable, but I would think that as a person I have a right to know my paternity. Or in this case, lack of paternity. Now if dear old mom decides not to tell me who the mystery man is, I’m not sure there’s a lot I can do about it. On the other hand, my father *is * bat-shit crazy so if he’s not biologically connected to me I’d feel ok about it.

I just can’t believe that I couldn’t legally force them to take a DNA test. So the only person that can challenge paternity is the father? That seems a bit disconnected to me. If you’d see my brothers and me with my parents, you’d immediately pick out the one that doesn’t fit in the picture.

Maybe I need to call Maury Povich (just kidding).

13

Oh, and elfbabe… here’s the thing. I may not ever know the “who”, but my mother was a nurse in a psychiatric ward for years, including the one in which I was conceived.

So, yes it may matter. Hell, it may matter to me, yet alone to a child.

14

Yes, my post was rather tongue in cheek, and I should have identified it as such.

From a strictly “concerned for my health and reproduction only” standpoint, elfbabe is spot on.

But it does fail to address your larger issues. Good luck with them.

My grandmother never knew who her father was, and it bugged her all life. Her mom would not tell her. So I do sympathize.

15

As far as I know, that’s about the only thing you can do in your situation if you want a test. The law has no reason to intervene at this point.

16

Just my humble opinion, but it seems like you’d maybe make more headway if you separated the two issues - for it really sounds like two separate problems that you are mixing together. On the one hand, it sounds like you’ve always felt (for reasons that are most clear to you) that your dad may not be your biological father. On the other hand, you and your wife are thinking about pre-conception genetic testing of your parents - are you also pursuing this on your wife’s side?

Sounds like the questions that you’d like answered are 1) who’s your father (and can you force an answer if your parents/siblings don’t want you to) and 2) are there any genetic conditions for which your child may be predisposed, presumably from both paternal and maternal sides. Please don’t take this wrong, but you may be best served by consulting a lawyer in your home state for #1 and your family doctor for #2, since you’ve not yet received an answer that you find satisfactory here. Best of luck.

17

We are not pursuing this on my wife’s side. There doesn’t seem to be a reason to.

Life is a genetic crapshoot; we both know it. And you may be right that I am mixing two separate issues together. But they are two issues that have come to a confluence.

I think ultimately you are right in that I will have to consult a lawyer and/or a private detective. However, I was hoping that some of the attorneys that frequent this board may have come across something like this before and been able to give me some guidance. I realize that this is just a message board and that the advice given is just that. However, I find some very good minds out here. I was hoping for some precedent.

I guess if I found out that my mother had an affair with one of her patients who was eating crayons, I’d kind of like to know that. I’m not sure why, as I don’t personally have a craving for crayons myself. But if there was a clear genetic anomoly that for some reason I was lucky enough to miss, I’d hate to pass that on to an unborn child. I guess I’m in a bit of a personal ethical soup.

Perhaps starting this thread on a holiday weekend wasn’t the best idea, so I’ll try to keep it alive through next week if it dies an untimely death. In the meantime, thank you all for your replies.

And Qadgop the Mercotan, no offense taken. This is just one of my own little curveballs that life threw my way. I’m sorry to hear your grandmother had the same problem.

18

Kurahee, just so Qadgop’s reply about how great I am makes sense to you, he’s my dad. :smiley:

As for useful ideas… hmm… maybe you could write a letter to your parents saying that you need more info on the health history of both sides of the family, for their prospective grandchild’s sake. That might give your mom a reason to tell you if “Dad” isn’t your biological father. If not… maybe you could ask what their blood types are and see if you come up with a combination that’s not genetically possible. (If they’re both O, for example, you can’t be A)

19

Well, that makes sense! God, I hate normal parent/child relationships! :wink:

Thanks for the useful ideas, but see… they don’t work in my family. Insanity rules the day here. It’s kind of like the “Bizarro” world. They haven’t answered a letter or returned a phone call in over 2 years. Literally, I’m dead to them. This is something that is not unheard of in my family, as my mother cut her brother off for over 45 years until he died (I have no idea why) and my father and his brother didn’t speak for over 40 years (I have an idea, but nothing confirmed). And as I’ve mentioned, my siblings (and wives) are waiting for them to die (they are now near 80) to divide the money/property. They aren’t about to let me back in now.

It doesn’t matter that I don’t care about the material things. They do. I just want peace of mind. If I can’t legally get it, I may just have to hire a P.I. to follow them or go through their trash. Man, I can’t believe I have to go through this crap. With my luck, I’ll bring it up to my mother, she’ll clutch her heart, and I’ll be blamed for her death for all eternity. (In my opinion, she’s had a few more years than she’s deserved, but that’s not my call.)

When I die, there better be a God, because I have a **SHITLOAD ** of questions for the man. :smiley:

20

In retrospect, I should have just asked the question in the OP, and not included the part about my wife and I talking about having a child. That, quite frankly, is confusing the issue.

The real question is “can a child ask for a paternity test?” The reasons should be irrelevant, but I thought giving some background would help those of you who might need some info to frame an answer. This whole issue wasn’t in the forefront of my mind until my wife and I started talking about starting a family. Sometimes when you pull that string on the sweater, it unravels a bit more than you thought it would.

Sorry for confusing the issue.