I’m not sure if I get what you mean, either. Do you mean that the guests would be expected to pay a second time (if the wedding is back on)? Or do you mean that it’s similar since they didn’t get what they were paying for the first time?
I agree that if the wedding is off, people are potentially going to feel cheated. I just don’t see that the wedding being off makes it unaffordable for them to have spent the money, whereas before they could have afforded it. Either way the money is spent. I mean, I see, “We made sacrifices to attend this wedding and it was all for nothing,” as a legitimate complaint. “The wedding is off and now we can’t afford the money we spent on it,” doesn’t make sense to me.
I said “Can’t afford it as readily” which was meant, clumsily, to say that it was a hardship for some to get there.
I see what you are saying. Yes, OK, that makes sense.
That.
Yeah I was gonna +1 this too. If she expects people to travel for the next wedding (presumedly she wants to get married eventually) then she she should offer to offset some of the travel costs. Perhaps by offering to pay the change fee on airline tickets.
Hope you get to do something nice with your sister soon. Even if it’s not involving a wedding.
And what if that extra hundred is something the person can’t afford when tacked onto the NEXT 400 dollar flight? Not to mention them wondering if they will get burnt YET again on the second go around.
What if the person is so strapped for cash they bought a totally no refundable ticket to be able to afford to go in the first place?
What if getting off work takes an act of god and they can’t cancel their time off? They scheduled it, they HAVE to use it then, and they don’t have extra time to burn/risk for the next go around. And not just work, the totallity of their personal life is booked up/hard to change?
Yeah, for many it might just be a few phone calls, a minor/trivial fee, and no big deal really. But for some folks, thats it. Thats the one reasonable chance to attend the wedding and it sure as shit aint THEIR fault the bride/groom/somebody else flubbed it up.
If I was like the hard up folks I’ve described, I wouldnt ASK to be reimbursed. Now, if the bride/groom were significantly better off than me I would accept compensation for my loss if they offered it. And if I either did not get any or really couldnt afford to blow another wad of cash/time, the second wedding aint having me show up and I aint going to feel too guilty about it.
Yeah, there’s no law saying that anyone has to go to a potential second wedding. In fact, my guess is that most people wouldn’t.
Then they. . . don’t buy the next $400 flight? If you can afford $400, then you can afford $100. If in a few months she’s asking everybody to buy another $400 flight, then making it $500, and the person simply can’t afford that extra $100 expense then. . . they don’t go. You don’t spend money you don’t have.
And if they feel like they’re going to get burnt, don’t go. I wouldn’t.
There is no such thing as a totally non refundable ticket. At the very least, airlines will give you a credit to use in the next 12 months for the amount as a courtesy. I’ve cancelled a few “non refundable” flights-- it cost me $100 each time, but that’s it (and this was because I wanted my money back, not a flight credit). I’ve never been dumb enough to pay the huge, inflated price for a “fully refundable” ticket- because it just has that $100 fee built into it, plus some. And now that I’m older and wiser (haven’t had to cancel a flight since my younger days), I also pay the extra $10 at check out for trip insurance in case stuff like this happens, my luggage gets lost, acts of God, getting stuck in O’hare again, etc.
Then you don’t go the next time around and enjoy your long weekend you’ve got free now, cursing that stupid bitch who cancelled her wedding.
Also, I find any hint of folks blaming the strapped for cash victims here quite offensive. Some seem to be saying if you can’t afford to go if its cancelled you shouldnt have decided to go in the first place. I see it as someone taking on a real financial hardship to do something personal and important and respectful for the bridge and groom.
The only thing many poor folks hate more than spending money is just fricking wasting it.
No one is blaming anyone. We’re just saying that if you can afford a $400 ticket, you can afford instead to pay $100 and have $300 in your pocket. Sure, you’re burned out $100, but that’s better than $400.
Sure, you can be mad at the bride and groom for that, but you’re not out more money than you would have been if you had gone.
I’ve been trying to find where I read it (I think it was an old Miss Manner’s column, but I can’t find it), but since guests are on the hook for their own reservations, they are on the hook for paying for them regardless. I’ve been searching and searching, but I can’t find the article.
Its a hundred dollars you might as well have used to light a cigar. Are you in the habit of doing that? Would you mind giving me one to do that? Heck, would you mind me stealing one of your do to that?
You sure are good at deciding how other people should feel about and spend/waste their own money. You should go into politics.
You sure are good at getting your panties in a twist over hypothetical situations that don’t effect you. You should go into lobbying.
Affect. His mother effected him, for which we are forever grateful.
Curses. You are, in fact, correct. I’ll admit that the one grammar thing that has always been an issue for me is effect and affect. I know the rule, I just always misuse and shame myself on message boards.
But hey, I can use all these spare hundred dollar bills I was going to set aflame to, instead, buy some grammar work books. Soon I will be grammatically splendid. Soon. . .
I see no reason the bride and groom should reimburse the guests for travel expenses. Yes, it’s crappy that they have decided to cancel/postpone the wedding. And no, they shouldn’t expect many people next time. But the guests, knowing they would have to travel to attend, chose to shell out the cash to go to the wedding.
And, no, the guests deserve no “blame” in this scenario; as mentioned above, if they shelled out for the tickets, presumably they can afford it. Yes, it’s an inconvenience - probably moreso for some than others. But I’m sure the bride and groom also didn’t plan not to go through with the wedding.
Here’s the rub though: do you think that she would be complacent and understanding when people (rationally) choose not to go to her next wedding? Or will she rail at their selfishness etc? If there’s even the slightest whiff of the latter, it’s unfair of her to offer them nothing now and then get disgruntled when they do the rational response.
She’s allowed to. She just shouldn’t have the kind that imposes a social obligation on anyone else.
No, she’s not obligated to reimburse people. If she were, she might be in the odd situation of “I know I shouldn’t go through with this marriage, but I can’t afford not to—I’d have to pay off all those people! Maybe it’d be cheaper to have the wedding, and then just get divorced the next day!”