Should she reimburse people for travel to her called-off wedding?

In My Humble Opinion
61

No, basic manners is not to judge people for doing what they want to do. It’s not their fault that you did not have the courtesy to inform them exactly how much their presence would be worth. They chose to make the sacrifice for you, so they thought it was worth it. But, when the wedding was called off, they no longer believed it was worth it.

You can try to say that they have no right to judge you for not making reparations for their sacfifice–but then you can’t have it both ways and judge them for making that sacrifice in the first place.

62

Eating ramen for a year to go to a wedding is valuing martyrdom, not loved ones.

63

Uh, so it’s fine to judge people for doing what they don’t want to do?

Do you just have an outrage generator plugged in or something?

64

That is probably the best thing I’ve read all week and the perfect question to ask our resident offenderati. Sometimes I have to stop and shake my head at the sheer absurdity he provides us with so often.

Why, don’t you know that you should be APOLOGIZING to the guy who called your sister a bitch after he created a scenario that doesn’t exist in this situation?

Let me see if I can create a situation to be offended about.

Ok… what about people who couldn’t get off work and they quit their jobs via whiteboard just so they could attend your sister’s wedding? WHAT ABOUT THEM? I mean, just because you’d have to be an IDIOT to give up your job and be unemployed that shouldn’t matter because BASIC MANNERS are that you don’t judge people for what they want to do. I mean, they’re choosing to make this sacrifice for your sister.

Really jsgoddess, how could you? Won’t somebody think of the people who don’t exist in the scenarios we pull out of our asses? Somebody?

65

Let me put it this way.

Be it tight finances or time off the job or juggling personal/other social responsibilities or whatever sacrifices I have to make, lets say I decide to attend someone’s wedding. And not because its a great vacation destination or I’ll have a blast boozzing it up and sleeping with the slutty women there. But because I think being there is important to person that invited me and that I need to show some serious respect by attending, even its its going to cost me dearly.

Flighty bitch cancels for whatever reason. That okay, this shit happens, no particular hard feelings. I don’t expect them to get married just because I planned to come. Of course, on the flip side, said reason for canceling/delaying better be decent. But, hey, its cancelled.

Now, lets say its on again. I call up, "hey, I just can’t make it, that was my only chance, best wishes, I’ll send you a nice card, good luck, happy days (and send the gift I can afford minus the money I am out for the cancellation).

Said wedding goes on without me. Socializing ensues. “Hey, Mrs Flighty Bride, where is Bill Fish? Wasn’t he your BFF all throughout school and till he moved to the west Coast”?

Mrs Flighty Bride’s answer BETTER be something along the lines of “Bill couldn’t make because of personal responsibilities. I feel SOOO bad for changing the wedding date because he could have made the first. He really put himself out to try to attend the first one”.

There better NOT be any hint that I was a dumbass to put myself out to try to attend the first one, or that I do not have the financial or social power to attend the second one and I am a lesser person for it. If so, I’ll take out a loan to buy a first class ticket to shove a champain bottle up someone’s vagina sideways.

And if that happened to someone I know, I’d loan em the money so they could do it.

Now, of course I don’t really know any flighty bitches/pricks that would have weddings that I would feel heavily inclined to attend so that scenario is unlikely. But, I can say, now, given this thread, and having thought it out some, that if I ever go to any wedding, find out it was delayed, and the bride or groom are badmouthing someone for not attending, they will probably wish I hadn’t heard it.

66

I’m not sure when my sister turned into Cruella DeVil in a bridal gown made of Dalmatians.

67

The obvious solution is that everyone use their tickets and hotel reservations for a nice week-end get-away/reunion. Just don’t tell the former-to-be bride.

It’s called ‘love’. When you love someone, you want to dance at their wedding.

You eat ramen and buy the tickets and the gift and your new dress on super-hyper-mark-down, no returns - no exchanges, just so you can afford to go.

Then you are stuck with 15 extra pounds, a useless dress, an unwanted gift, and a wasted plane ticket.

I am no longer in this financial position, but I do sympathize with those that are.

68

I absolutely agree, but I would say the exact same thing if you couldn’t attend the first wedding, as well: then it should be “Bill really wanted to make it but he had an impossible conflict. I wish the dates had worked out better, he’s been such a good friend to me over the years”. One should never expect people to go to a wedding–especially an out of town one–and one should never be anything but gracious if they do not attend.

69

This all seems somewhat reasonable. I’m not entirely sure what it has to do with the situation that was mentioned in the OP, but it seems fairly reasonable as it is.

70

Although I think it’s reasonable to expect people not to talk negatively about people at a wedding, especially invited guests, I’d say that rant seems more Jerry Springer (complete with shoving something called champain bottles) than reasonable. The whole “sombody better NOT be talking about me!” seems like either high school drama or Springer.

It’s just surreal that these types of situations are being invented that seem to have very little, if anything, to do with the OP

71

In my defense, I missed the bottles-in-vaginas comment the first time around.

72

Quite understandable. Your brain doesn’t want to accept that someone would choose to post that

73

Now that could be great. Take a group picture of everyone drunk and happy, send it to her as a postcard. Having a great time! Wish you were here! :stuck_out_tongue:

74

Hmm. I don’t think I could really shove a champagne bottle up someone’s vagina sideways, no matter how hard I tried. Basic physics, you see. Now, I don’t know what a champain bottle is, and maybe it would fit sideways very nicely. That could easily be. Champagne bottle, though, that’s not happening.

It is always interesting to me to find out that there are people walking around in everyday life who are thinking things like, “If someone calls me a dumbass, that person is taking a champagne bottle up their vagina sideways.” I mean, obviously I have a general sense that there are a lot of fucked-up things that go through people’s heads, but it is always somewhat startling when you hear one this weirdly specific.

75

So basically, said “flighty bitch” should go ahead with the wedding, even though she has misgivings, just because poor billfish678 is living on ramen so he can attend? Mmmkay.

76

My experience with traveler’s insurance, purchased from travelocity.

I purchased 2 tickets to Alaska. I was laid off and decided to go to grad school. I realized, months ahead of my travel date that I had a final exam at that time. I cancelled the trip for a credit.
I discovered, IMO, that traveler’s insurance was a waste of money because they are very specific to what is covered:

you, your travel partner, or a family member cannot travel due to sickness, death, layoff, or a list of other acceptable reasons;
your tour company or airline goes out of business or can’t perform as promised;
a family member at home gets sick, causing you to cancel;
for a good reason (such as a car accident, inclement weather, or a strike), you miss a flight or need an emergency flight.

As you can see, canceling or postponing a trip is not included.
I ended up losing 250, more or less.

Another thing to note is that few people travel to weddings alone. It is more typical, in my experience, to travel with a spouse, child, etc. It is more fair to say more than 100.00 was lost per family.

77

Return (or reimburse for) any gifts, but reimbursing for travel expenses is unnecessary.

I would also try, if possible, to offer to entertain anyone who was (still trapped into) coming into town.

78

Besides, how the hell is the bride going to afford to reimburse every single person who decided to make the trip? You’re complaining that YOU can’t afford it, but why should she?

If you can’t afford to make the trip, don’t go. I doubt you’re a “BFF” if you’re going to call her names like, “flighty bitch”, simply because she decided that she wasn’t ready to get married. Maybe something happened – maybe she found out the groom was cheating. Who knows?

79

Bolding and snipping mine, of course.

So, erm, if you were laid off and lay offs were covered. . . what’s the problem? That said, I always read the trip insurance and what it covers before I agree to it like anyone entering any type of contractual agreement should. I’ve seen plenty that cover cancellation for any reason. I’ve seen ones that cover hotels if your flights are delayed, ones that don’t. Ones that cover lost luggage about to $1500, some that give you $200 a day for lost luggage, and some that don’t cover lost luggage at all. I’m seen ones that cover hurricanes, but not snow storms. I’ve seen ones that cover wars, but not hurricanes. My point is, there’s a lot of variation, which is why you have to be extra careful that the insurance you’re signing up for is the insurance you want. You don’t have to use the website/airline’s insurance even- there are private travel insurance things you can get, too.

And billfish678, I have a real question: what would make your more upset- OP’s sister cancelling the wedding ahead of time because the relationship broke down and she realized the marriage was a bad idea. . . or OP’s sister going through with the wedding, even though she knows it’s a bad idea, you going, and then her splitting from the guy a month later?

80

I’m sorry, the first fragment and the second don’t go together. Not in the slightest.