The insults “jerk off” and “wanker” seems to suggest there is a social stigma against masturbators. But isn’t masturbation a *good *thing? Doesn’t spread STDs, no pregnancy risks, and dammit, it’s something I’m actually *good *at.
So, what’s the downside? Should we reverse the stigma and actually celebrate those amongst us skilled in the arts of self-massage?
Although I suppose we already celebrate the really attractive folks with this skill, esp. if they are willing to do it in front of a camera…
In my environment, there is no stigma about it, I not only admit to it, but have been known to brag about my skill. Of course, my enviornment is Soldiers, so YMMV.
There was an interesting post in the male/female social inequalities thread, which pointed out that while male masturbation is generally viewed as disgusting or loserly, female masturbation is usually praised as a sign of empowerment, whatever that means.
I don’t think there’s a particular stigma attached to masturbation qua masturbation so much as masturbation vice sex.
Referring to someone a “jerk off” isn’t an suggestion that he masturbates, but rather than he can’t get laid any other way.
In the military environment there is no other conquest to brag about under certain circumstances. Unless you’re all extremely comfortable with your sexuality, anyway.
But back in the real world…
That’s probably why (male) masturbation isn’t praised and celebrated-- if you’re a wanker, you’re spending your time on non-/counterproductive things rather than getting out there getting something accomplished.
No, any more than we should celebrate those amongst us who are skilled at sleeping, or eating, or taking a really satisfying crap, or any of life’s other little pleasures.
You’re a master 'bater? How very nice for you. There’s nothing wrong with that. But (at least if you’re male, or an unattractive female) I don’t want to know about, hear about, or think about your sexual escapades, solo or otherwise. It’s just TMI.
I take a different approach. I don’t mind hearing about what people do in their lives, regardless of gender or attractiveness. I rarely actively seek out information from people I don’t know, but I very rarely think that things I hear are TMI.
I’ve found that my TMI is probably as unique to me as my finger prints, and I never can tell who is going to cross that line or with what subject matter. Some people I can listen to, fascinated, whether I don’t know them from Adam or consider them my adopted family. Some people hold my interest, whether they talk about anal sex or their great Aunt Edna’s colonoscopy. And some people completely disgust me in ways that I do not ever want to experience again while talking about taxes or a game of canasta.
In much the same way as the OP’s conjecture, the insult “fuck you!” seems to imply a degree of badness to the action. Or haven’t you heard somebody say that they’re so fucked, and they mean it as a bad thing? So how’d that happen?
I think part of the issue is that someone who is obsessed with sexual gratification over and above all other sorts of gratification comes across as unsophisticated/adolecent. Orgasm is, obviously, easy to like, and it’s simplistic.
It’s like catsup. There is a reason kids like catsup. It’s sweet and salty and not much else. It’s easy to like. I love it. But someone who, as an adult, slathers catsup on everything, on eggs or chicken or steak or pasta . . . it seems like someone who has never bothered to learn to appreciate some of hte flavors out there that are more subtle, more sophisticated. People who are obsessed with masturbation–and being public about it in a venue when that’s not appropriate (millitary’s different, obviously) suggests obsession–are socially censured because they seem like they never moved past the adolesent discovery of “whoa, that feels good”. It’s not that they like masturbation–it’s that they have no perspective/can’t see anything else. That’s what a “wanker” is, not a person who happens to masturbate.
If there were no stigma attached to masturbation, doing it would be about as fulfilling as blowing your nose.
In pornography, certain acts are HOTHOTHOT because they are stigmatized, not because they are especially pleasurable (Participate in a three-way or a Dirty Sanchez more than once to understand this point).
She was kind of dumb, come to think of it, suggesting teenagers should be taught to masturbate. Who ever needed to be taught?! I mean, monkeys can work this shit out for themselves!
It would really be more a matter of teaching that it’s okay to masturbate… and that it’s not a disgusting unclean act that only depraved evil people do.
Kinda hard to give a monkey a bunch of sexual repression issues by teaching it weird things about its body. Pretty easy with kids. Hell, I’ve got a two year old behind me at the moment who I’m fairly certain is really liking his bouncy horse right now for reasons I’ve no plans to investigate. I can just go tell him he’s doing something wrong and BAM! I’ve started on a rich stock of stuff for a future therapist to deal with.
